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Impatient son in farm shop

(14 Posts)
Luckygirl3 Sun 09-Aug-26 15:24:54

Just come back from the local farm shop and a truly horrid man was there with his obviously very elderly mother. Gosh he made me cross - hassling her round and not letting her look properly at things; telling her "No, you don't want that" and generally belittling her - grrr!

I am guessing she did not get out much and wanted to enjoy a mooch.

Naughty man .........

62Granny Sun 09-Aug-26 15:29:57

You should have said , "if you want it, have it my love" in a nice gentle voice , while given him the evil eye. My DD says I can floor anyone with
"My Look"😡

Luckygirl3 Sun 09-Aug-26 15:36:16

You'll have to tutor me in The Look!

Fallingstar Sun 09-Aug-26 15:40:35

This happens and it infuriates me too.
A while ago I saw a family group on the table next to ours at a restaurant. An elderly woman was sitting with what I presumed to be her grown up family and GCs. As they all ate they talked and laughed but never once spoke to the poor woman who just picked at her food. At one point I saw her try to get their attention and then the attention of a passing member of staff, but everyone ignored her. Eventually she just gave up and sat staring ahead.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if they all left the restaurant and left the elderly woman sitting there.
I felt like getting a megaphone from somewhere and handing it to the woman and telling her to just blast their ears off.

merlotgran Sun 09-Aug-26 15:42:11

That man may have been at the end of his tether. You don’t know the background.

My late mother would sometimes run me ragged when out shopping. My two brothers lived two hours away so it was always me at her beck and call.

I don’t judge if I don’t know the facts.

Luckygirl3 Sun 09-Aug-26 16:26:20

Fair comment. But it was not a pretty sight ...

Romola Sun 09-Aug-26 16:30:38

Fallingstar I know that situation. When my AC and their families all get together, I totally feel like a spare part as regards conversation, including in my own house when I have bought and cooked the meal.
I suppose I should feel glad that they enjoy seeing each other and that they come to my house.

Tworedroses Sun 09-Aug-26 16:32:24

Crikey, talk about judgemental..

Hithere Sun 09-Aug-26 16:41:04

You don't know the whole picture by seeing a just one frame

I agree with merlotgran

Stansgran Sun 09-Aug-26 16:47:24

I must admit I won’t shop with my DH as he is always when he’s with me asking me why I want this or that. I hate having to explain meal plans in the middle of a shop.

Luckygirl3 Sun 09-Aug-26 16:48:28

But if he's like that to her in public ......

Luckygirl3 Sun 09-Aug-26 17:02:36

Part of my job was dealing with elder abuse. Seen some dreadful stuff.

Tuliptree Sun 09-Aug-26 17:07:15

Luckygirl3

Part of my job was dealing with elder abuse. Seen some dreadful stuff.

I think you can infer some things from what you see - especially if you’re experienced like you are. And whatever difficulties there might be, he should treat her with respect in public

Hithere Sun 09-Aug-26 17:07:18

How was the tone? Hostile? Caring?

"You don't want that" by itself is not rude, it is just assertive.

Saying no is not pretty, but it is not rude

A person may want everything he/she sees and discard thr next minute, for example

You deal with the same situation x amount of times and you learn to say what works

What happens if this interaction was between a parent and a minor child, vs a elderly and their offspring?