Why are we no longer ‘sad’ ?

We had a lovely elderly couple who were neighbours who used to drive around in their convertible sports car and they would always wave ant smile. Time took its toll and they are no longer with us. I was very sad to see that little sports car being towed away from their property on a sunny afternoon. They had so many fun and sunny hours out in that car. It reminded me to make the most of the days I had gifted to me and the people who filled those days.

Saying you feel ‘depressed’ when you’re actually ‘sad’ or ‘down’ is similar to the folk who have ‘flu’ when they really have a bad cold.

Yes, too often people use the word ‘depression’ to describe a time of feeling down, or due to life events which have saddened them or even caused extreme distress.

Sadness can come upon us/overwhelm us when feeling sorrow for ourselves or for others, often through loss or disappointment, but we know we have to work through it until we feel better. It’s life. But it’s not depression.

Being able to say that one feels depressed about something is quite different from ‘depression’ (clinical depression), which is an illness. Such illness can certainly be triggered by a life event, or stress or worry - or sadly just happen, but normally it leaves the sufferer detached, numb, disinterested and often incapable of even explaining how they feel. Normal life just stops for that person.

Sadness passes, feeling down passes, but real depression usually requires some medical help after a couple of weeks and support to find the way back to life again.

I am starting to agree with the school of thought that says nowadays mental health problems are often ascribed to people who are trying to overcome the stresses of every day life. It seems all too easy to label someone when all they need is support and help.
This in no way deflects from those people who do suffer from a mental illness.

I take depression to be a long lasting sadness where you can’t see an end

karmalady

I have ever been depressed, sad at times of course but I have taken sadness to be part of life emotions and a feeling that will pass. Depression must be like living in a black hole with nothing nice to look forward to

That’s exactly how I see and understand depression.

A big black foggy hole, with no future, no past and no visible escape.

I’ve been very sad and I’ve been very anxious and had “GP” interventions for both, as long term both can be pretty horrendous and damaging.

I’ve never been diagnosed with depression.

I have ever been depressed, sad at times of course but I have taken sadness to be part of life emotions and a feeling that will pass. Depression must be like living in a black hole with nothing nice to look forward to

Luckygirl3

Depression in medical terms has clear clinical criteria and is distinct from sadness, but the one can flow into the other and the lines are blurred because life is not clear cut.

That is useful , Luckygirl3 , to make the point about the medical definition of "depression".

I guess it is horses for courses. I flatly refused medication if any sort, so i was sent off to a councillor for about 10 weeks (I think) and although I was extremely sceptical - it worked - I learned a new way if behaving, and have never looked back.

I had a period of depression in my younger years but it was due to stress, basically I was doing an extremely stressful job and had no support, then coming home to a very small child and a rather disruptive teenager so there was no way to relax. I wasn't sad, I just shut down and was, I now realise, really quite ill. I've been sad lots of times in my life but it was nothing like depression, sadness is a completely different feeling and so much easier to cope with because I knew what was making me feel sad but with depression, I felt nothing , a complete emptiness. Interestingly a very good psychiatrist who I went to privately did not give me antidepressants, he put me on a big dose of diazepam for a couple of months and I started to feel better very quickly. My GP was very much against this treatment but it was exactly what I needed, I made a complete recovery and thankfully have not had another episode but I've got so much better at managing stress. Sadness and grief are a natural part of life, depression is not, it is an illness.

Quite right. No one was ever depressed when I was a child (or indeed stressed or finding things stressful but that’s another question).
I think sad best describes grief or something specific, and miserable a longer drawn out and ‘down’ - good word petra - frame of mind.

Feeling sad is healthy, being depressed is not.

I feel sad when I think of the suffering of people, sad when I think of my departed mum and dad, sad when I think of my darling dog, sad when I see the destruction of nature.

Depression is a something that is not rational nor often recognised. So anxiety often accompanies it and can be all consuming. There are degrees of depression. I think that I have suffered depression twice or perhaps 3 times in my lifetime. Once - relatively mildly after the birth of my first child, second badly after the birth of the second child and a complete breakdown in my early 50s. I reckon each depression was hormone related but I have no tangible evidence.

Depression in medical terms has clear clinical criteria and is distinct from sadness, but the one can flow into the other and the lines are blurred because life is not clear cut.

I use sad, and so do my friends.
My own mother who suffered terrible never used the word. She always used the word down
This was despite the fact that she attempted suicide 3 times ( twice when it was against the law so you could be charged)
and sectioned 3 times.

Sago I totally agree with you. I too have been severely depressed in the past. Hospitalised twice.
I wouldn't wish depression on anyone , it is the most dreadful feeling and I don't ever wish to return.
Feeling sad is so very different.

I use sad, fed up, a little down to describe how I feel sometimes as opposed to happy, glad or cheered.
Don’t think I’ve ever said depressed.

MT62 I think it's good here to give tangible examples of out sadness, so others can see how deeply we feel. You have to face that sadness in your environment every day

I'm currently back at our house in Cornwall where our young dog should be with us on holiday, but he tragically died in July. I'm beyond sad, I've cried on the beach and in the shower, but I likewise am not going to dwell on it too much, I don't want to be depressed.

Yes, I hadn't thought about that but it's true, few people want to be seen as merely "sad" now. It's almost as though sadness isn't bad enough, we have to turn it into a life-changing incapacity in order for it to count. Maybe part of the trend is due to every other tv show being followed by an advice line link: "If you or anyone you know has been affected by the poor stricken Bake-Off contestant dropping her sponge cake on the floor, here's a phone number . . ."
It's almost as though we're being systematically trained up to think like victims and, yes, it does grate a bit. I was brought up to know that bad things happen and we have to get on with life anyway. That's not real depression, though, and I don't think it does genuinely depressed people any favours by pretending it is.

You make a really good point.

I have been severely depressed 3 times in my life, I have been sad hundreds of times.

I find it very upsetting perhaps even insulting when people use the term depressed instead of sad.

I feel sad when I walk round parts of my town, one part that I partly grew up in, to see the state of the streets. I feel sad at what has happened to the people that took such great pride in their homes.
I think if I dwelled on it too much I would become depressed.

I have been thinking this for a long while now.
You are quite right. Nobody describes themselves as sad, miserable, feeling down or unhappy. They always claim to be depressed.

I guess people feel it carries more weight in that they have a ‘condition’ which requires treatments, usually antidepressants, a sick note off work along with benefits.

Of course it goes without saying that true depression must be awful, and people suffering from it long term most definitely do need help, but there are certainly far too many others who have jumped on the mental health bandwagon, probably because it can’t be disproved.

I don't know, but I'd say depression is bigger and longer lasting than sadness. Sadness is probably a part of it, but it is not all consuming and not destructive.

I guess we can only measure it by our own experiences, and although I have been immeasurably sad on a couple of occasions, I have never been depressed, and I would never play any cards to get sympathy.