Feeling reclusive

Since losing my husband in June, I have a strong urge to keep my own company except for our children and grandchild. Best friend is in Asia for another two years but we’re in very regular contact by text. That’s good enough for me atm.

I am not reclusive, but this year have been pushing back on every social activity that takes me out of my comfort zone and pulling up the drawbridge more and more. I lost all my confidence when DH died four and a half years ago, so that my default setting is now “No” rather than “That sounds like fun - let’s do it!” I do have activities I engage in with other people during the week, but anything on a larger scale - weddings, birthday celebrations - scares the living daylights out of me so that I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head!

I like the cosy autumn and winter nights. However, I just don't like going out at night at all during the year. I do like to meet friends and socialise during the day though. I'd miss that if, for some reason, I couldn't do that any more.

I think, it might just be the season. In recent weeks the weather has changed, getting colder after a very hot summer, the clock have gone back, bringing in darker evenings and, in the past with, hopefully, all the harvest gathered in, to feed us through the winter like many an animal we have an instinct to hibernate.

You may find, come the spring, you will find an instinct to go out more.

You don’t sound reclusive just happy relaxing in your own company. And I do think is true that as we get older many of us don’t want all the bells and whistles of an active social life, preferring to do things on our terms rather than obeying a social calendar. You do you and enjoy it.