Spoiling children

There used to be a saying "spoilt only child". I was an only child, (not parents' choice) but they were afraid I was at risk of being spoilt, so I was brought up more strictly than many children. I looked at friends' families and noticed that it was the youngest who was often spoilt - at least could get away with much worse behaviour than I could!

Sago

It’s subjective though, our GC would be considered spoilt by some because they have lovely holidays, nice clothes, eat out often etc.
They are however disciplined well, they are polite and not in the slightest arrogant.

My DM used to tell me I was spoiling dds, largely because I allowed them to eat more or less as many e.g. tomatoes or satsumas as they wanted.

When I was a child such things were strictly limited, which was down to the fact that my parents were almost always skint.

Many years later DM did tell me she’d been wrong to say dds were spoilt.

I always cringe when someone says to me about my birthday "-I hope you get spoiled rotten" I hate that expression.

A sad story Samsaral

My mother favoured (spoilt) my brothers. By the time the younger brother got to his teens he so thought he could do whatever he liked that he took to drugs. My mother refused to believe me when I pointed this out to her - I was obviously jealous! This went on for several years until he became a full blown addict, appeared in court several times on theft charges and eventually went to prison. Until her dying day my mother refused to believe it (he sat by her bedside the day before begging for money always strangely £40). He bankrupted my parents. I have spoilt my daughters and grandchildren wherever I can but there are boundaries and they have grown up with love and some rules.

OP I think you need to give some examples of what you consider spoiling.

I cant more than I already have.
So I may not contribute much more to this thread!

Basgetti

HelterSkelter1

I think nice holidays and clothes is not spoiling children. If that is your lifestyle anyway you are hardly likely to treat them like paupers and yourselves differently.

But children demanding stuff and tantrums and sulks if not given what they demand is. Bad behaviour not being "punished" is. OP I think you need to give some examples of what you consider spoiling.

For perfect example of spoilt children, see John Lewis Christmas ad!

Not see that yet!
Will take a look.

^Time spent with them?
Allowing a child to behave differently at granny's house than they do at home?^

Not those.
Unles someone is barging in in some way.

HelterSkelter1

I think nice holidays and clothes is not spoiling children. If that is your lifestyle anyway you are hardly likely to treat them like paupers and yourselves differently.

But children demanding stuff and tantrums and sulks if not given what they demand is. Bad behaviour not being "punished" is. OP I think you need to give some examples of what you consider spoiling.

For perfect example of spoilt children, see John Lewis Christmas ad!

I think nice holidays and clothes is not spoiling children. If that is your lifestyle anyway you are hardly likely to treat them like paupers and yourselves differently.

But children demanding stuff and tantrums and sulks if not given what they demand is. Bad behaviour not being "punished" is. OP I think you need to give some examples of what you consider spoiling.

I agree that it depends how you define spoiling.
Money/gifts?
Time spent with them?
Allowing a child to behave differently at granny's house than they do at home?

There are degrees I suppose.

In the examples I can think if, lots of bits[or more] of money are given.

And "isnt my child wonderful", sometimes while almost ignoring the other child, type thing.

Maybe the subject is going to be too hard to chat about.

I meant spoilt as in the parents overindulge them.
Often when young as well.

I think you need to give some examples, fancy. It’s such a sweeping statement and my idea of spoiling, may well differ from others.

It’s subjective though, our GC would be considered spoilt by some because they have lovely holidays, nice clothes, eat out often etc.
They are however disciplined well, they are polite and not in the slightest arrogant.

Online, if true, there are too many examples to mention.

This often leads to estrangement.
It did[well partial at least] in the above situation.