Unkindness everywhere!!

Oh dear, that is indeed a heavy load to carry. The world has gone mad, how can little one do social distancing. It is untennable and unsafe. We need very clear and absolute guidelines. Not this half and half thing.

Greymar, it's a non starter obv with the children. I just cant fathom how it works that we continue to do our job but sacrifice seeing our loved ones.
The nastiness and lack of empathy tho is just awful.

So sorry, where do you mean? Where is nasty....can you avoid such " conversations"

Sadly on most forums now and social media.

Social Media is running riot and is binary. I don't wish to add to your distress but have you considered trying a few session with a counsellor ( on the phone or digitally)
I don't think you will find much nurture and care in the digital world.

Alternatively why not give social media a miss for a while? Is there something about the sites that you use? I'm on various sites including Twitter Facebook and GN and what I read seems absolutely fine. On GN there are threads I just don't look at and some posters that I avoid but it's mostly OK and pretty pleasant really.

Why go on social media if it is causing you so much distress?

Ration it. Look at the news a couple of times a day and only read social media like GN. perhaps Facebook, but just your family and friends and only a couple of times a day.

Find other things to occupy your mind and hands.

I only use FB to keep in touch with family and all my Independence groups .Anything else I scroll past.Reading all the mind numbing rubbish is the way to send you mad very quickly.
Try to limit use of it for people you want to keep in touch with and just a few minutes morning and evening.
I do spend time msging on FB to my son and daughter ,usually at 1am when she cant sleep and wants someone to chat to when her OH is working away .
Thats one thing thats disappeared due to lockdown..he has no work as all his contracts have been cancelled so he's at home full time for a change

There is also kindness everywhere.

People are checking up on family and neighbours and asking if they need anything.

There is a nationwide initiative by what used to be called the WRVS to recruit volunteers to phone those who can't go out at all, to get essentials for them, to drive people to appointments and so on, whuch had thousands of volunteers on the first day it was open.

In my area and others, people are putting rainbows in their windows for children to look for when they are out for a walk, and elsewhere it is teddybears.

Avoid looking at social network sites if they distress you, though there is so much support and cheerfulness on Gransnet that I would say the occasional snippy post is overshadowed by the many friendly ones. Concentrate instead on the good things that are happening, like those I mentioned.

Even cancer related health forums get infiltrated by trolls unfortunately and the current situation gives them so much opportunity to exercise their sick twisted minds. Last thing you need following a cancer diagnosis.

After a while you get to know who is likely to be rude or bullying and you can just scroll past their input.

Fortunately our local groups have been very helpful and going all out to help those who are in need but my first experience of a troll was a serious learning curve that ended with threatening behaviour and an official police warning.

We have heard that some local wannabe burglars thought now would be a good time to break in to people’s homes just as we were all being told to stay at home! Plonkers!

I have found a lot of posts on Facebook to keep up my spirits - I only follow my friends and family, andsites where I know there are interesting things to be seen. You can choose not to see any more posts from anyone whose choice of things to say you don't like.

There are loads of reasons why people turn to social media, seeking connection, like minded people, a sounding board , lonely and so on.

But Social media can become an addiction, You constantly need to check another site, read more about something. Corvid-19 is the kind of subject that can quickly pull soomeone, especially if they are anxious about the subject to always want to check just one more site, just check the current death rate, how many have died in the past hour I became a bit like that myself in the fortnight before the shutdown when things were moving and changing so much. In the end I got myself away from my desk out in the garden, out of the house, busy sewing until I could come back in and ration my viewing.

Yes I prob should delete a few groups. I just find the whole blame culture and finger pointing so hypocritical. We can only police our own behaviour, so why people continue to post berating the elderly, single mums, walkers etc is beyond me.
People just assume the worst and judge too harshly.
Takes nothing to be kind. If you don't like or agree with something, scroll by, don't add to the persons distress by being horrible to them.
Everyone is fighting their own battles.

Oh God Narnia I feel your pain I honestly do. I’m crying my eyes out right now having just spoken to my DD who is a single parent with a not quite 2 year old . We don’t know if or when we will ever see each other again and she’s only 5 miles away . We are used to spending so much time together it physically hurts .

Gillybob, oh it's heartbreaking! My Daughter is only prob 3 miles away too.
If this had been 3 weeks ago then I couldn't have left her as things were so bad. But she's back on her feet and breastfeeding is going amazingly well for her. So I'm proud, proud of the woman that I've raised and her determination to do the best for her baby in challenging circumstances. I really am trying to find the positives, but I feel I'm missing so much.
Sending you a big virtual hug xx

Thank you so much Narnia I really needed that hug x

what are we to do ? My DD worked in a branded coffee shop. I looked after her baby when she worked and I took her along with me to my work . Now her coffee shop has closed and so has my small business and I’m distraught . They are there dad and alone and I’m here with a poorly DH and alone and sad too. There are no positives .
What a horrible time for us all.
Thinking about you and your family xxx

These absences are so hard for us all. But there is goodness around too. Someone has been going to my OH's grave (because we cannot go there) and putting flowers on and sending us photos of what she has done - that is what I call kindness.

That’s lovely luckygirl. I’m
Just struggling so much right now it hard to see the good stuff . X

I would love to be able to visit DD's grave.

Those of you who are missing your DDs who live just a few miles away, be thankful you still have them.

This crisis has brought out the best in some people and the worst in others. Unfortunately, the latter seem to outnumber the former!

I totally agree with you. I am frightened for my nearest and dearest and concerned about the wider society. Even my own family seem to want to report neighbours for their behaviour which concerns me as what we are all becoming.

In real life I think most people are being kinder. I had to go to the shop today because I was totally out of many staples. The queue outside was orderly, keeping distance, but smiling and greeting each other, and having conversations. In the shop most were being very careful to maintain separation as far as possible, and happy to wait their turn at the shelves. I think lots are craving interaction, even at a distance, with other humans. The checkout staff chatted while processing our goods and I honestly didn't see a grumpy face at all. Like many of you I crave to see my grandchildren and children in the UK, and ache that I don't think there's a snowball in hell's chance I'll get to Canada this year. These are trying, worrying times, and for those totally confined to home it is extra hard. Social media, with its anonymity, can be a very vicious place.

Lots of Good News here:

www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/g31658888/coronavirus-covid-19-good-news/