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"Men unhappy when wives earn more"

(69 Posts)
ixion Sun 22-Nov-20 14:25:57

Title of an article from today's Sunday Times.

'The study's findings come as a growing number of women are now earning more than their husbands. "Men appear to need to be the bigger earners in a marriage to feel good about themselves".
(Researchers) found that men feel a "psychological kick" in life satisfaction if a salary boost increases their earnings superiority within a marriage'.

Would you agree?

Bathshe Sun 22-Nov-20 14:28:25

I'm sure it's true for some men

But by no means all

Elegran Sun 22-Nov-20 14:30:39

That must mean that they are perfectly happy that their wives don't have that psychological kick in life satisfaction. Rather selfish of them.

timetogo2016 Sun 22-Nov-20 14:31:48

I earn more than my dh and he has never mentioned it,so no problem this end.

Jane10 Sun 22-Nov-20 14:34:55

No problem here either

sodapop Sun 22-Nov-20 14:37:24

It's a very personal thing isn't it the way a family's finances are organised. This may have been true in the past that men felt threatened by a wife with more earning power but I don't think its the case now. There are always exceptions.

Wheniwasyourage Sun 22-Nov-20 14:55:10

When we got married in the 70s I was earning more because DH was still a student. The only people who minded were not DH, but the building societies who would not allow us to have a mortgage in my name. At least some things have changed for the better!

LauraNorder Sun 22-Nov-20 15:36:11

I’ve almost always earned more than Orlin, all our money gets banked together

LauraNorder Sun 22-Nov-20 15:37:57

And we spend what we need, but we generally discuss the bigger items.
Never been a problem but then Orlin doesn’t have a big ego.

M0nica Sun 22-Nov-20 15:42:50

DDiL earned more than DS for the first 10 years of their marriage. it never bothered either. Now the situation is reversed, again they are not bothered. DS has always put job satisfaction way ahead of money. So has DDiL

Looking back, my MiL had the only secure income coming into their house. Her husband was in seasonal industry and had to take any job he could - or could not - get for four months of the year. I do not remember that causing any problems.

PamelaJ1 Sun 22-Nov-20 15:49:23

I often wonder where they get their information from. No one ever asks me.
During our fairly long marriage we have had changes to our income. Sometimes he earned more, sometimes I did. Sometimes I earned nothing. Didn’t seem to matter to us.

Davidhs Sun 22-Nov-20 16:07:50

Some men would I’m sure, the majority would enjoy not having to “bring home the bacon, since I retired I didnt realize how easy being a house husband is. I know several where husband is self employed and wife earns much more it doesn’t seem to affect them one jot, they drop the kids off at school, pick them up after.

After all as long as there is enough money why worry if there is a divorce everything is split, it doesn’t matter who is the highest earner

dragonfly46 Sun 22-Nov-20 16:10:16

When we were first married I was the bread winner. Over the years it changed but was never a problem.

B9exchange Sun 22-Nov-20 16:15:04

One of my sons hasn't earned any money since leaving university a couple of decades ago, his wife has two jobs, works 7 days a week whilst he brings up the children. Another son is taking a break from his job to raise their children. I think it might be a generational thing, DH finds it hard to understand how they can sit back and not provide for their families, different outlook, different times.

Blossoming Sun 22-Nov-20 16:16:13

I’ve been the highest earner for more than 25 years, and the sole earner for 17 of those. That’s just the way our life together turned out. We have a nice home, a decent standard of living and good retirement provision. It doesn’t matter where it came from. We’re in it together.

Jaxjacky Sun 22-Nov-20 16:17:01

I’ve always bought home more than my husband, generally not an issue, but as self employed tradesman, if he’s quiet for too long, he gets a bit despondent.

PollyDolly Sun 22-Nov-20 16:17:49

What does it matter, as long as they have respect for each other! My ex clearly didn't for me, although we earned about the same, by comparison I had far greater skills than he had and it didn't suit one bit!

Jaxjacky Sun 22-Nov-20 16:18:04

brought !!

AGAA4 Sun 22-Nov-20 16:21:31

I believe men of my father's generation may have felt bothered if their partners earned more as it was their role to earn the money and their partner was often a housewife earning nothing. That situation has long gone now as most couples both work and pool their resources.

SuzannahM Sun 22-Nov-20 16:27:03

I earned more than my OH for most of our life together, it wasn't a problem to either of us. Everything was paid between us regardless where the money was coming from, and we both had our own money to spend as we wished.

One of my colleagues left his job to look after the children and his wife kept on her job because she earned more. My brother did the same while the children were very young. Not a problem to them either.

Like PamelaJ1 said, I often wonder where they get there information from.

Davida1968 Sun 22-Nov-20 16:58:52

This may be true of some men, but it's certainly not the case in my family - or with my friends, as far as I am aware.

agnurse Sun 22-Nov-20 18:08:19

I earn about double what Hubby does. It doesn't bother him.

Men are designed to want to provide for their families. That's how they're made. That said, as long as they're providing something, it doesn't always matter to the husband if the wife earns more than he does.

Thoro Sun 22-Nov-20 18:33:43

I was the breadwinner when my first husband sadly passed away (about 21 years ago). We had a joint account and after I’d informed the bank of my DH’s demise they blocked my salary coming in to the account. They were very apologetic when they realised the salary was mine not his. I hope something like this wouldn’t happen nowadays!

sodapop Sun 22-Nov-20 18:57:43

Davidhs I didn't realise how easy being a house husband is^

Really - are you sure you are doing everything ?

Newquay Sun 22-Nov-20 21:53:39

I thought that too sodapop! I stayed home for 7 years until our daughters started school-I’ve never worked so hard!!
Our DD1 earns more than her DH, in fact she employs him-no problem at all.