What do i do

Well tell her you ll pay she can choose the car seats and install them herself , and give you a lesson She really can’t have it all her way if she needs help and you’re willing to give it then
she ll have to compromise won’t she ?

I've said I will buy whatever she wants me to have. I would spend whatever to make sure they're safe. She's quite happy to leave kids with me overnight so it can't be that she doesn't trust me to look after them.

BlueBelle

Well tell her you ll pay she can choose the car seats and install them herself , and give you a lesson She really can’t have it all her way if she needs help and you’re willing to give it then
she ll have to compromise won’t she ?

Great suggestion.

Also you could perhaps walk with them somewhere, or she could drop them over to you.

There’s lots of ways to help our children when they have children and also work.

Does she have a partner?

Just ask her what it is she’d like you to do to help?

Personally I think she has post natal depression. Her husband said shes tried to get help for it but dr wont take her seriously

Tell your daughter you are willing to buy any car seat she may wish to recommend so that you could take the toddlers out occasionally to give her a break and "its completely up to you if that is something you would like to help you out" Ask her what might help- she may or Amy not have suggestions- she will either open up a discussion or close it down. Ie open, none judgemental equations, not implying any criticism.

The decision is your daughter's whether to accept of reject any offers of help and support.

If not just let your daughter carry on complaining she is struggling- she may just want to sound off and complain to get things off her chest.

If the father is on the scene maybe have a quiet word with him- sharing what your daughter is saying and discussing the situation- again in a none judgemental, none critical way- just how are things? etc

If he's not open to that discussion- accept the status quo. On visits perhaps you could take some cooked food, e,g like a lasagne, shepherds pie etc that could be a family meal the next day. That saves cooking one meal at least! I would have been overjoyed if my mum had done that after chid birth- instead she brought cream cakes and she knew I didn't like cream! 😊

Horsewench

Personally I think she has post natal depression. Her husband said shes tried to get help for it but dr wont take her seriously

Ahh- perhaps a discussion with her health visitor might be more productive- more time available and expert in child development and mother's health in conjunction.

Horsewench

Personally I think she has post natal depression. Her husband said shes tried to get help for it but dr wont take her seriously

Seriously, tell your daughter to go back to GP and ask to see someone else, or go with her.

She does need this checked.

She doesnt have time to drop them over to me. She lives miles from anywhere do walking with them isnt an option. This is why I need car seats. Her husband works hard but isnt the most savvy about the kids. She is so particular and it has to ber her way. If I try to help I get put down. I try not to get upset but it hurts.

My DD has the same attitude and I've come to the conclusion she doesn't trust my ability to drive. She trusts me to care for the children overnight, she's happy for me to swim with them in our local pool and other activities - but not for me to take them in my carThere seems to be almost a 'vendetta' with over 60's drivers - could this be her problem?