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Friend hijacks conversations

(18 Posts)
Rockchicknana Mon 28-Sept-26 10:49:20

I have a group of local friends I socialise with regularly and one of them (I'll call her Beryl) tends to dominate the conversation whenever we are all together. It's really getting quite tiring now and although we all love her dearly it's getting to the point when we don't want to invite her when we go out. Last Saturday was a prime example. I have a very old friend who doesn't live locally (I'll call her Ann), so although none of the group have ever met her they know quite a lot about her as I often speak of her. This friend has been very unwell over the past few years and on Saturday one of the group inquired how she was. I started to tell them and Beryl immediately took over the conversation telling them things about Ann that I had told her previously! I was hoping someone would say 'oh! I didn't know you knew Ann' but unfortunately they didn't. This kind of thing happens regularly and Beryl will often try to take credit for things that I've done by giving the impression that she's done them or it was her idea in the first place.

I really like Beryl and enjoy her company when it's just the two of us but we are all really tired of her dominating the conversation when we're in a group to the point where we try to organise getting together at times we know she's not available. I feel I need to find a way of telling Beryl that we're tired of her behaviour but no idea how to do it without upsetting her.

Rockchicknana Mon 28-Sept-26 11:01:46

...

dragonfly46 Mon 28-Sept-26 11:13:40

I too have a friend like this. Whenever we try to tell her she gets very upset and sulks. I am not sure what you can do about it except maybe just see her on a one to one basis.

NotSpaghetti Mon 28-Sept-26 11:17:23

Is this relatively new behavior?
We saw another thread like this on here about 6 or 8 weeks ago.

Jaxjacky Mon 28-Sept-26 11:20:13

We have a friend does the same, I just make eye contact and say in a direct manner ‘I was talking’, it does work.

petra Mon 28-Sept-26 11:29:25

Remember The lord of The Flies.
The person holding the conch is allowed to speak. Buy a conch 😂
I do very much sympathise, though.

Tworedroses Mon 28-Sept-26 11:38:06

I’m sorry, this all sounds incredibly childish to me.

Shel1951 Mon 28-Sept-26 11:48:33

Cut in and change the subject.

Gingster Mon 28-Sept-26 11:57:41

Yep I have a very good friend who is fine on a one to one but get her into a group and she has an audience. Tells the same old stories, buts in and never listens to others.

We all just put up with her as she’s a love , and try to talk over her and change the subject.

petra Mon 28-Sept-26 12:37:12

Tworedroses

I’m sorry, this all sounds incredibly childish to me.

It might sound childish to you but believe me, it’s no barrel of laughs for those of us who have to endure it for the sake of other friends.

Madgran77 Mon 28-Sept-26 12:50:04

"Beryl - you have never met Ann. She is my friend. Please let me finish!" ...and then continue what you were saying.

"Beryl anyone would think Ann was YOUR old friend not mine!" - with a smile ...then carry in what you were saying

"I'm SO glad you like my idea Beryl ..what do others think?" ....

"Yes I really enjoyed doing ....... ! I didnt know you had done it too Beryl. Has anyone else here done that?"

Elegran Mon 28-Sept-26 12:57:56

If, while you are talking, she tries to put over as her own idea/news something that you had told her earlier, just say clearly over her "Yes, that is right Beryl, we were talking about that just yesterday, weren't we, I was telling you that xxxxxx - " (and here you tell everyone, in YOUR words, what Beryl was inserting into your account, and you do it with more detail added than Beryl knows so that she doesn't make herself out to be the expert, )

GrannyIvy Mon 28-Sept-26 13:46:10

I have a very dear friend whom I phone for a chat and then just listen I don’t need to contribute. She asks me a question and then answers it herself. Sometimes I just talk over her to get my opinion heard. In a group we all just mostly listen and interrupt occasionally. It can be wearing at times. Her husband puts his hand up and asks for permission to speak at times! She gets upset if anyone brings it up with her. She is a lovely lovely person tho and would do anything for anyone. I value her friendship dearly so I accept this is her and we live many miles from each other and so face to face meet ups happen two or three times only a year.

JdotJ Mon 28-Sept-26 14:01:27

NotSpaghetti

Is this relatively new behavior?
We saw another thread like this on here about 6 or 8 weeks ago.

I'm also sure I've read this post previously

Apologies if not but I remember the OP saying "let's call her ....."

Tenko Mon 28-Sept-26 14:01:48

I have a friend who also dominates the conversation when in a group but is fine one to one . I put up with it because she’s a good friend and I value our relationship.

NotSpaghetti Mon 28-Sept-26 14:03:07

I'm not sure if it was the same poster (don't think so) but there were suggestions around deafness and/or early dementia etc - so the old thread might be worth re-visiting.

NotSpaghetti Mon 28-Sept-26 14:03:38

(That was in response to JdotJ)

PamelaJ1 Mon 28-Sept-26 15:18:16

NotSpaghetti

I'm not sure if it was the same poster (don't think so) but there were suggestions around deafness and/or early dementia etc - so the old thread might be worth re-visiting.

My husband always knows when I’m on the phone with a certain friend.
I keep stopping in the middle of a sentence as she buts in. She is a little hard of hearing. I think she must think that I don’t say much😂