Unwritten Rules for Women after Years of Living Alone.

I can relate to most of these!

1. Getting dressed twice in one day is asking a lot. If she's already gone somewhere, come home, and changed into her house clothes, whatever invitation comes next better be something spectacular.

2. Company has an expiration time. She can genuinely enjoy having somebody over and still start looking at the clock around hour three, wondering how much longer they're planning to stay.

3. The entire house does not need to be used. She pays for every square foot, yet somehow spends 85% of her time in the same two spots. The rest of the house is basically there for decoration.

4. A day off with an appointment in the middle of it is not a real day off. A 1 p.m. appointment somehow manages to hold her entire day hostage. She can't fully relax before it, and by the time she gets home, the day feels over.

5. Certain household items are not for company. There are towels people can use, snacks people can eat, and pillows people can sit against. Then there are hers. The difference is very clear in her head.

6. Coming home between errands is dangerous. She might have three more stops to make, but if she goes inside, takes her shoes off, and sits on the couch, those other stops have a good chance of becoming tomorrow's problem.

7. Her house has different levels of clean. There's clean enough for her, clean enough for her closest friends, and clean enough for somebody who has never been inside her house. Those are three completely different cleaning schedules.

8. An unexpected knock at the door does not mean she's answering it. She might be sitting ten feet away in complete silence, waiting for whoever it is to leave. Anybody who knows her well enough knows to call first.

9. There is no official time for dinner. She might eat at 4:30, have a second dinner at 9, or decide that the little snacks she's been eating since she got home collectively count as a meal.

10. Getting home early is an accomplishment. There was a time when staying out until midnight meant she had a good night. Now, being showered, fed, and in her favorite spot by 7:30 feels like she somehow beat the system.

After years of living alone, a woman develops a whole set of rules without ever sitting down to make them. And the funny part is, she doesn't realize how particular she's become until somebody comes over and starts doing everything wrong.