Alternatives to traditional Christmas

This year it will just be DH and me, with sister-in-law and partner coming for lunch on Christmas day. All the DS are in America - we will skype with them on Boxing day, I expect.

It has been difficult having a Christmas combining German and English traditions - if we did both it would mean three days of non-stop eating and present-giving.

But we never managed to open any presents on Christmas Eve, which would be the German way. I have always had to work till the day before Christmas eve, and by the time the shopping, house-cleaning, cooking, table-laying, present-wrapping, tree-decorating and eating is all over, it's time to go to Church. I am in the choir and have to be there an hour before the service starts, the boys were all altar boys for years and years and were pretty much in the same position.

And in more recent years, with the boys being home for only a few days, they are off seeing their old school friends most evenings, so it's difficult to find even a couple of hours when we actually sit down together by the fire. Present-giving is way over on the back burner. Eating together, chatting, singing and nowadays, playing with the DGC are far more important.

The only tradition we have changed is the giving of presents.
About 5 years ago 2 of my daughters, sons in law, my OH and I spent 4 hours opening our presents.
The same year my youngest daughter sent (from Dubai) a selection of wrapped gifts for us to pass round as in a lucky dip. We had so much fun with that - SIL no1 opening a lovely red pair of briefs, no2 a new nail polish, there were jokes, novelties, sweeties.
We decided we would take the idea on for the next year and we have done so every year since.
We each buy 3 x £5 new gifts, 1 x £5 charity shop gift, a recycled gift (the socks / soap set/ sushi maker you got for Christmas last year or birthday) and a home made gift.
These are all wrapped.
They all come to us for Christmas and the gifts are put in black bags mixed up and then put on the sofa for after dinner.
If we have extra guests they are invited to join in and however many ‘surprises’ they put in - they can, in turn, take the equivalent.
Over the years some of the most unlikely presents have been the favourites - a jug mixing bowl was one.
At the end we allow a ten minute bartering session where deals and swaps take place.
We also do a sensible £10 secret Santa at the dinner table.
Individual present costs have gone down from 3 figures to £30 each and we have a blast.
Being mum - I do still have to make sure ‘santa’ leaves something under the tree for my little girls and their hubbies
(Eldest daughter is 36) usually PJs or even socks ( that have ended up as a recycle the following year)

I absolutely hate cooking Xmas dinner.
It always turns into a stress fest owing to the fact that my DD is a stress head.

If anyone invited us round to theirs for dinner I would jump at the offer.
Or go abroad for the festive season.
Keep saying that every year, but always leave it too late to book.

For people who would otherwise be on their own (including couples) please check out the link below and see if there is a community Christmas lunch in your nearest town. Our town hosts a community Christmas lunch that has been going for many years and is a great success. Many people attend as helpers as well as guests.
communitychristmas.org.uk/map/

For a long time I was forced to host assorted geriatric relatives, so, once they were gone, the Bodach and I could do exactly what we wanted, so we head for the sun, dinners with friends, and an escape from the hype here.
I also know that our children are grateful that they don’t feel obliged to host/visit us!

When DH was alive we sometimes spent Christmas abroad, once in a hotel and several times in an apartment we owned in Spain. The hotel stay was a bit formal and we felt a little restricted. The stays in Spain were lovely because we knew all the neighbours and would visit each other on Christmas Eve, a couple of times we all got together for Christmas lunch at a nearby restaurant which was great fun. Now I am on my own and like AliOxon would like to know of an alternative way to spend Christmas for those of us living alone.

Where are the alternatives if you can't fly somewhere and you're a pensioner on a small budget?

Christmas 2014 was the best time I can remember. My daughter always did the meal and I contributed the turkey.
All the family were together.

My daughter died suddenly in May 2015. Her family is shattered apart since then, and I see few of them.

I know my sister and her partner will take me out to lunch for Christmas, as they have since then, but I wish it could be something else this year! The difference is saddening.

They live two hours away so it is even becoming tiring for them to come here these days.
Any ideas?

My family have always had the traditional Christmas, and mostly enjoyed it very much. But about five years ago we decided to have a change, so we all (14 of us) went to Malta for ten days. The hotel was lovely and put on a really excellent Christmas day, but the weather was awful (no change there then!) and I didn't fall in love with Malta.
I don't think I would want to do it again, although if they all decided to, and invited me, I wouldn 't say no!

I always used to host family Christmases and since I then had a large house everyone came to me. When my son’s children were about 4 they decided to stay at home and invite everyone to their house. It worked for about 15 years but this year we’re having a change and each family are spending Christmas at home but meeting up on Boxing Day and having a shared table.

One of the best Christmas days ever was when we were temporarily living in Spain, it is a tradition that ex-pats go to a local beach taking nibbles and cava which everyone shares out. We didn’t know a soul there but were greeted with amazing friendship and generosity and spent a very happy couple of hours chatting, eating and drinking. Then went to a local club for dinner and entertainment. No stress, no cooking, no clearing up and sunshine!

When we lived in South Africa we would have a big braaivleis (bbq) on Christmas day, invite friends, and spend the day in the garden around the pool. One year we did try a traditional turkey and all the trimmings, but it was just too hot to enjoy it, and mum said never again, as a barbeque was the only time she could get my dad to cook, and she liked the idea of a day off! I have to say that for a northern hemisphere child, it never felt quite right - it was completely lacking in festive atmosphere.

I loved the 'family' traditions of Christmas when I was a child. Fathers came and went, my mother's hair colour changed on a weekly basis and her skirts became shorter but our Christmas rituals stayed the same. It was better than Birthdays because they often went forgotten on the day but everybody knew when Christmas was. Consequently I carried on those traditions with my kids...who apparently hated them. As adults they bemoan that it was always the same and who on earth puts a satsuma at the bottom of a stocking year in, year out? Anybody would think it was the same satsuma!

Oh Marnie I’m so sorry. Hopefully your turn before too many more Christmases come and go. Makes me feel so selfish wanting to spend Christmas in a house, big enough for all my family, by the sea, prepared by anybody but me.

When children small a traditional Christmas. Then just the two of us for many years. Husband now has dementia so still just two, children still do not put in an appearance. I would dearly love to prepare and serve a meal for the homeless or hostel. But cannot leave my husband for more than an hour and children won't have dad for the morning so I am waiting for it to be MY time to do what I want

First Christmas after I lost my dear dad I rallied close family and we hired a villa in Spain, went to a restaurant for Christmas dinner and danced and played games till midnight. We were there for week the men played golf in The Sun whilst the girls went sightseeing and shopping. We did £25 secret Santa and great time was had by all. This year I fly to oz to spend it with my youngest dd and her family.

Having worked most Christmas,s my oh making Christmas dinner and entertaining children I must admit we enjoy a quiet Christmas Day and look forward to entertaining family on Boxing Day .

Years ago we spent Christmas in Algeria. Some friends were working there. On Christmas Eve the Expats went Carol Singing and all the locals, mostly Muslim, came out on their balconies and listened. It was a magical evening.

Christmas Day was always at home with my DM & DF, later after DF had died DM & Step-F. Then I hosted for a couple of years.

After I married DH my DM & Step-F came to stay over Christmas & New Year. Boxing Day had always been the huge extended family day.

When DH & I downsized (we moved at the end of November) we booked for Christmas Dinner at a local Hotel, lovely meal & fantastic atmosphere, The following year DM was coming to stay so I booked again for same place, unfortunately DH was taken into Hospital in mid November so just DM & I went. unfortunately DM had a heavy cold & struggled to eat her Main Course, lovely Landlady put all uneaten meat & veg in a box for us to take home, tasty leftovers for Boxing Day.

Now I go to DD's & enjoy a morning with DGSs, lovely Christmas Dinner then home by about 3.30 to chill out in front of the TV. I still love Christmas despite spending some time alone, times change

Many years ago,my brother and I took our spouses and children to a hired cottage in Norfolk for Christmas week.
A keen cook, I took a huge baked ham, large raised pork pie, a game terrine ,a Christmas pudding , Christmas cake and dozens of mince pies as well as shopping when we arrived. We also bought a Christmas tree and firewood and coal as the cottage had a huge open fire.
On Christmas Eve , the local carollers called. We invited them in for mince pies and drinks as we were their last port of call . Some time later a band of very sozzled carollers left,leaving us all worn out with laughing.
On Christmas morning we went for a walk along the beach, while the turkey was roasting. We then headed to the little village where we found,much for our suprise, a cafe open. We ordered our drinks and,when we came to pay for them,were told that there was no charge as it was a private party for all the local fishermen and we were very welcome to stay. A couple of wonderful hours later we went home to our turkey.
On Boxing Day we woke to a snow covered landscape but,even more wonderful than that, there had been an extensive hoar frost completely turning our surroundings into the most glorious winter wonderland.
It was the most wonderful and magical Christmas for all of us,still talked about reverentially by us all

When dds were still only about 9 and 12, and both my MiL and my own father had died not long previously, , we went to Austria for Christmas, taking FiL and my mother - we thought the usual Christmas at home would arouse too much sadness.
A friend of dd1 was added on fairly last minute. We arrived in a pretty Alpine village with no snow on 23rd December - but it snowed that night! All of us except FiL and my mother tried skiing for the first time and the week was a great success - lots of gluhwein certainly helped! The kids all loved it - their shared room was very traditional, a bit like Snow White's little house - and my mother and FiL enjoyed it in their own way - took the lift up the mountain to a nice cafe, just enjoyed the scenery.

It worked very well in those rather special circumstances, but in general I do still like Christmas at home.

After doing the traditional at home Christmas with all the family coming to us, we had lunch at a lovely restaurant one year which was bliss for me, no cooking, washing up etc.
Another year we went to Thailand with friends. Lovely holiday but not Christmas Another year we borrowed a large farmhouse on a fabulous estate at Stokenchurch ( no name, no pack drill) with all the family and it was one of the best Christmases ever, lasting several days.
Since then, and now separated and living in a small house, my daughters and married granddaughter have taken over and we spend it at one of theirs and it's always lovely.

When our five children were small we used to have our Christmas meal on Christmas Eve. This worked well for us as my DH was a vicar and was busy on Christmas morning. It enabled me to play with the boys and their new toys without trying to combine cooking as well and if the kids ate chocolate all morning it didn't really matter! We all went to the morning service.We then walked in the countryside on Christmas afternoon. After 3 years of this the boys decided they would prefer the main meal on Christmas Day so we have done that since.

My younger daughter has taken over doing Christmas lunch for 8. I did it until she got married and had children, then she took over the tradition. I do help out by doing starters and dessert, and helping with prep on the day. My Dil and his mum do the clearing up and loading and he dishwasher. It works well and no one ends up exhausted.

Always the same tradition for a number of years then we went for a Christmas meal one year with my d and her partner and his parents I really enjoyed it but h wasn’t so keen. He doesn’t have to cook.
Now I go to my d and we take the turkey and a few other things and she does all the veg.
We play board games and my gd loves the fun

On the beach in Sri Lanka was a welcome change. I love the traditional Christmas , it was usually me that did it for many years. Loved it but exhausting. A bit lower key here in France, the last time i did the full on whole family do was 7 years ago. Two hyper 2 1/2 year olds and a six month old baby, who was ill, and 6 adults. It involved 2 cars doing the 4 hour round trip to the airport each end of the week. Despite having cooked and frozen all meals and lots of help from OH, it was non stop!! Loved it all but it took us three days to recover! I haven't rushed to repeat it. I now go to England where I do the cooking but a little less exhausting. We will probably do it again when the DGCs are a bit older.