My 10 year old and Father Christmas

Nanabilly I did that too. My mother said 'you don't still believe in Christmas do you' and I said 'of course I do' and she went along with it but we both knew really.

On holiday last summer my daughter decided to take a walk along the beach with her 10 year old daughter and take the opportunity to tell her about 'periods'. She explained that it was all part of growing up like understanding that Santa wasn't real. My GD said " What.......? That's two horrible things you have told me in the past five minutes!!!

I told my daughter one year that Father Christmas no longer covered her age group and that he concentrated on younger children. This was, of course, a selfish ploy as I had a bought a great present that I didn't want Father Christmas to take the credit for!

My DD told her oldest boy during the summer before he went to secondary school as she thought he might get teased. He seemed very old to still be believing in FC - mine certainly knew much younger.

It sounds as though your DD is determined to hang on to FC! If I were you I would let it ride this year, then find a moment to put her right during 2018.

I worked it out when I was about 5 or 6 as I found some material in a drawer that matched something I had been given by FC - my mother sat me down and explained the whole thing. My reaction was to say I had thought it was a bit weird that we gave Mum and Dad presents, but they did not give us any! - so that explained their meanness!

My DD was just like this! I found it hard to believe at the time, I remeber - but I let it ride, and it wall worked out in the end. Let her go on believing!

We resolved a similar issue with our now 11 year old granddaughter by explaining not everyone believes and that’s ok , but we believe and that’s all that matters . We also explained that it’s not about the jolly old chap in red , it’s about believing in the spirit of Christmas . That’s the important thing.

We do Christmas lists and all that stuff but our little ones know what they ask for are wishes and no-one gets everything they wish for.

I love the whole magic of the season and we do it here with gusto. No one seems too traumatised yet ??????

Christmas lists can be dangerous in raising expectations. DGS, then aged 8, had a meltdown when he discovered that Santa had not left him a laptop. Imagine if billions of children worldwide had the same expectations. I do hope that now he is 10, he will be more realistic. Surely the talk in the playground will be of the non-existence of Santa!

My 10yo DGS has just announced that Santa has a rubbish business plan (they are doing a bit about economics in maths) and will surely go bankrupt any day soon. I countered by pointing out the vast sums that Santa must earn from copyright, adverts and personal appearances.

Last year DGD2 (aged 7 going on 70) confided that 'You don't have to BELIEVE in Santa but you must PRETEND for the little ones'.

We decided when my dd was born we would not ‘big up’ Father Christmas. He just brought the stocking with sweets and small gifts and we left out sherry, mince pies and carrots to say thank you. There were no letters to him therefore and certainly no ‘what do you want for Christmas’. When she asked me about him eventually, I said he did exist in the sense that he was about all the love that people had for each other and how they showed that at Christmas by buying each other presents. So although he wasn’t ‘real’ what he stood for was very real. DD is bringing up the dgc in the same way. We all think it’s lovely - we hate grabby Christmas lists and ‘this year’s must have presents’. Instead it’s about showing your care/love for others. I was super proud of dgc yesterday as they told me all about the reverse advent calendar they were putting together for the food bank. DGC2 (7) even told me the % of children amongst the recipients locally.

It's hard one and I guessed we may have different opinions. Maybe it comes down to how kind (or not) her friends are? Are they likely to tease her? I know there was some bitchiness at a sleepover my grand daughter had with a bunch of friends. In the end, you know your daughter best.

My GD asked her mother outright outright, her mother explained carefully (she thought). After many tears GD said that some things were better left.

I agree with you Newquay I think most children from about 8 work it out for themselves I don’t remember being traumatised or even how old I was I didn’t have any problems with my children they just transitioned from believing to not believing I ve no idea at what age it just happened Same seemed to happen with all the grandkids The last one s mum tried to keep it going and I swear she went along with it for a couple of years to please her Mum ?
If she’s 10 maybe you can bring it into conversation gently as she is at an age when she may get mocked for being a baby and although it’s lovely for little ones she ll feel daft when she comes to realise it isn’t real and she’s been arguing it is It’s a hard one so much easier when they just gradually move on themselves one year believing and the next not

My son is 5 years older than his sister and when she was about 9 he told me that she had "twigged" about 2 years previously but had gone along with it as she didn't want to spoil it for me! So nothing was said until she finally admitted that she knew. So different from yours but I'd agree with Nanabilly?

My 2 believed until aged 11 and we thought we were very lucky but have since found out they strung it out a year or 2 as they would get more presents if they still beieved.
If I were you I would say nothing , not even after Christmas or she may ,in later life say my mum and dad killed it for me when they told me Santa is not real . Let her do it for herself and see just how long you can string of out for . This may be the last year you can do it .
Our boys are mid and late 30's and still smile when they open a small gift with from Santa or Rudolph on the label.

Oh dear, what a problem! We never told our own DDs about Father Christmas and now, in turn, we never talk about him to our DGC. They have all enjoyed Christmas and all eventually "cottoned on" themselves. They could never then accuse us of "lying" to them. We did this cos we're Christians and celebrate Christmas as when we celebrate Christ's birth-don't get me wrong we have a lovely jolly time enjoying celebrations, gifts etc. Personally I would want to tell this child myself. . . . so as to avoid bullying etc especially at 10. Our 9 year old DGS has apparently said to his Mum "that can't be true can it" but he hasn't mentioned it to us. Nor his younger sister either.

My Dil has told her 9 year old this year as she knows a lot of his friends know and one in particular, a girl, would be the first to "blab" and would certainly tease him.
He is a very sensitive boy and would be upset by the teasing.
I was touched when he thanked me for arranging the letters sent to him each year by Father Christmas.

No one at school has ever spilled the beans to my GC. I think children gradually work it out for themselves. My oldest GD did but kept quiet so she still got the presents. Let it go. If she still believes let her enjoy another year. She’s probably indulging you.

How lovely that you have such a sweet and innocent little girl. I have a ten year old grand daughter and I have not had the discussion with her but am pretty sure she knows the truth! I must check with my daughter. It is a difficult one but, on balance, maybe it is time you had a chat over a bag of her favourite sweets!
Maybe other grans will be more help.