My 10 year old and Father Christmas

You lot are marvellous. Thank you so much for the advice, DH and I have decided you are right, we will let her work it out for herself. She is a tough little cookie and I don't think there will be much in the way of bullying. As it happens, I know her teacher very well, and may have a word, so that she keeps her eye on the situation, if there is bullying or meanness, then I will talk to her - I kinda like the idea jools posted, it could be just the ticket

Have shared it for my kids, Thanks Jools.

I saw this on Facebook and thought it was a lovely way of helping children through the realisation that Santa isn't real: www.facebook.com/tickld/videos/1336139329785881/

The weird thing is my kids believed in FC , but thanked me everytime they opened something. It was pretend all around . They are not soft .It's just a nice magical thing that they knew wasn't real . Everyone can dream .

The weird thing is my kids believed in FC , but thanked me everytime they opened something. It was pretend all around . They are not soft .It's just a nice magical thing that they knew wasn't real . Everyone can dream .

I was careful to hedge my bets and not let on that I knew the truth for several years! My two had stockings till they left home - I think they've probably guessed by now.

I can't agree that the magic is more for the parents' benefit! As a child I'd be SO excited to think of FC coming, and my two were just the same - mince pie and a snifter for FC, carrots for the reindeer. I just hope my Gdcs will feel the same excitement - only 1 and 2 so still too young at the moment. The time of believing is over all too soon anyway.

In our family FC only ever brought little things in the stockings - everything else was from parents or family and the donors would be thanked. This way FC could not be asked for anything very big/too expensive/unobtainable, either.

I like mumofmadboys take on the whole business. If I had my way, I’d tell them from day 1 that F.C. is pretend, as I suspect the whole “ magic of Christmas” is more for the parents’ benefit! I don’t think children care where the booty comes from. I didn’t do this with our children, as I could imagine how this chat would go down with friends!
Observing my own children and grandchildren, there’s no difference in the behaviour of the “ believers” and the “ non-believers”.
I also think it’s good for children to know that people have bought them gifts, and to be thanked by people they’ve given gifts or cards to.

I took the coward’s way out and never told my son the truth.
When he was ten , I said that he was in ‘double digits’ now and although Father Christmas probably would still bring presents, I couldn’t be sure, so for that reason, dad and I would buy him presents from then on. He accepted that but I knew he still believed in Father Christmas because he said ( very apologetically) that the presents we gave him were lovely but he preferred those from Santa. Aw.

I am not sure whether DGC (7 & 10) still believe in Father Christmas or not, but we all have Christmas stockings containing small presents gathered for each person by all of us and keep up the cover that they come from FC. Heaven help anyone who asks where someone got anything from. They will be told that FC probably shops in £land - or wherever.

The other gran had told my dgd aged 4. I dont think she believed her though.

Sorry but Father Christmas IS real - I've seen him with my own eyes. I was aged about 6/7 and couldn't go to the school party because I was in bed with some awful disease and he came in my bedroom! It wasn't my dad because they came into together with my mum. He brought me a little blue plastic cot with a little pink doll inside it. He was big and round with twinkly eyes. So yes, he is real...........

Like several others GNers have said, I told my DDs that when they stopped believing in FC, he would stop filling their stockings. They never asked again. However when they got married I asked them 'what they wanted to do about stockings' but their husbands took over the job, bless them! My DH and I still hang up our stockings and FC still visits- in spirit anyway!

Thanks Chewbacca

The Santa Tracker can be found at NORADSANTA. com

Father Christmas represents "the spirit of Christmas". The spirit of Christmas is very real.

A supposed friend of mine, X, told aforementioned dd when she was only 5, that FC didn't exist. She was one of those people who didn't believe in 'lying' to their children.

However she was also the type to enjoy a really good row, and since dd had heard her in action, including some choice effing and blinding, I told her that X had probably been so naughty when she was little that FC never came, so no wonder she didn't believe in him.

How I thought of that on the spur of the moment I will never know, but it worked like magic, and I'd say the same again about anyone else mean enough to try to spoil the magic for a small child.

My eldest son said one day "Can we get a few things straight - there is no Santa, no Easter bunny and no real shepherds in shepherds pie - right? He was about 7 ish.

My eldest when 11 was sobbing in his bed one Christmas. I went to comfort him. He was crying because he was worried that if he still believed in Santa when he had children then they wouldn't get any presents. He was devastated. We had a gentle talk and that year he helped fill his three siblings stockings. He is now a burly biker bearded man with a wonderful family

I wouldn't say anything to disillusion her. My daughter was approaching eleven and still a 'believer'. My son (2 years older) said I should tell her as he thought it embarrassing that his sister still thought Santa was for real. However, I think she actually pretended to believe for longer than she really did because it was such a lovely myth! We are not children for very long so why try to rain on some of the 'magic'?

My DS found out at about 4 from harder headed friends at an inter city nursery that Santa didn't exist. What could we do?

I thought Father Christmas existed until I was 6 and stood in the school dinner queue one November day when the subject came up. I still remember the shock at being put right by my friends, and a feeling of being betrayed by the adults in the family.

I personally wouldnt make so much of the fantasy of Santa. I hope we have learnt to be more straightforward with our DC and DGC.

Sweet and innocent? Or trusting FC to provide the goods more than those unreliable adults she's saddled with?

Watch polar express wonderful film for those who are not sure they believe any more ?

It’s sad when their world of make-believe clashes with reality. But knspol talks about the magic of Christmas and that’s what we hang onto in our house. When challenged directly by GS1 a few years ago about the existence of FC I asked him what he believed.

When he fessed up that he didn’t think FC really existed, I told him what I thought, how this time of year was a break in the darkness of winter and how it is truly magical as all our family comes together and enjoys the magic.

I imagine it’s not magical to everyone on this site, as families split up, partners die, others are cut out of lives. But if the child can feel that instead when FC is outed then that’s what matters IMO.

kwest, your post made me LOL, I will relate it to my daughter!

Granny23, your DGD is wise beyond her years. That distinction between "believe" and "pretend" could help soften the blow for any children who are afraid to stop believing in case it makes Chrrsimas stop happening. "We can still pretend!" is the attitude my parents and I took when the belief was shattered, and everyone was reassured that the fun and the magic would continue.