Gransnet forums


Christmas dinner

(13 Posts)
gretta Wed 20-Dec-17 11:08:35


My 40 year old grandson died last Sunday night. He was an alcoholic & had been in and out of Hospital for the last 2 years. His liver & kidneys finally stopped working & there was nothing to be done for him. The funeral will not be until after Christmas.
My problem despite being very upset about this is, do we still go ahead with the Christmas meal for the rest of the family as it is just a meal isn't it.
What would you do?

Ilovecheese Wed 20-Dec-17 11:24:34

Are his parents still alive? Can you ask them what they would like you to do.
And yes, you will still need a meal so maybe a scaled down version of Christmas dinner.

newnanny Wed 20-Dec-17 11:36:17

So very sorry to hear you sad news Gretta. I would go ahead with Christmas meal as if not you will still have to eat something else. I would probably scale back on alcohol if anything.

NotTooOld Wed 20-Dec-17 11:53:24

How sad, gretta. I'm very sorry for your loss. I think I'd go ahead with Chistmas dinner if you can bring yourself to do it. After all, as others have said, you've got to eat anyway.

Christinefrance Wed 20-Dec-17 16:31:34

That's so sad Gretta I would go with the scaled down meal and talk about happier times with your grandson.

Humbertbear Wed 20-Dec-17 16:38:29

I have experience of alcoholism as a close relative is, for the moment, a recovering alcoholic. We have no idea how much she has damaged herself. So I do know some of what you have been through. I think you should go ahead with Christmas Dinner. No one needs to pretend to be jolly or happy but perhaps everyone could talk about a happy memory they have your grandson. We had a similar situation when my father died and we found it very comforting to be together and talk about him.

BBbevan Wed 20-Dec-17 17:57:50

My dad had a stroke on Christmas Day, coming round for his dinner. We had invited DHs parents , plus various other relatives. Dinner was nearly cooked. My mum and BiL went in the ambulance. We had a very subdued meal and then everyone went home. My Dad died , but we did get to the hospital before he did.

Otw10413 Mon 25-Dec-17 11:10:32

I am so sorry; words cannot help I know but sharing a meal with your memories is a good step.

paddyann Mon 25-Dec-17 23:09:32

my sister died a few years ago on 19th December and her funeral was the 23rd,we had christmas as normal,BUT there were a few children .My mum said later having a happy day with noise and laughter and sharing memories of my sister really helped her through it.We're all diffferent though so do what you feel works for you

tiredoldwoman Tue 26-Dec-17 07:35:09

Yes, go ahead with the family meal , it'll be a time for getting together , things need to be discussed anyway . Company and food are needed comforts . Big hugs to you .

BlueBelle Tue 26-Dec-17 08:40:50

How very sad and no advice just a big hug Gretta

Luckygirl Tue 26-Dec-17 08:47:46

So sad - such a dreadful thing alcoholism.

I hope that you were able to decide about the Christmas meal.

Teetime Tue 26-Dec-17 09:24:00

gretta how terribly sad for you. flowers