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Christmas

What should I do about DIL giving me unsuitable presents?

(145 Posts)
eazybee Thu 28-Dec-17 16:58:23

Think of something specific you would like, such as a plant, bulbs etc for the garden, music DVD, there must be something, or vouchers for a favourite shop. They want to give you something; let them and accept gracefully.

Cabbie21 Thu 28-Dec-17 16:48:48

Many thanks for all the suggestions. I shall gradually use two or three of the items. I have already given two away and will do so with the others. I am grateful, but I wish we could go back to not giving or receiving presents either way. Previous years' presents were impossible!
I have never spent Christmas with this part of the family, as they are always with DiL's parents. DS tries to keep in contact, but it is not easy.

MissAdventure Thu 28-Dec-17 16:10:41

I agree. Things are never wasted if they can be given to someone in need.

Norah Thu 28-Dec-17 16:08:52

Regift hamper food to the shelter or food bank.

willsmadnan Thu 28-Dec-17 13:00:26

Try smiling and saying thank you. And if you really can't face a Mrs Bridges hamper, just post it on to me. I'll email you my addresstchgrin
(some people are sooo ungrateful !!)

OldMeg Thu 28-Dec-17 12:53:12

Yes, suggest something you’d like or as everyone else has said, smile and regift it. I’m off to the charity shop soon with my unwanted presents.

Christinefrance Thu 28-Dec-17 12:50:39

Say nothing and pass on the unwanted items to a food bank.
It's not worth causing a rift, lots of parents don't receive anything from their adult children.

Baggs Thu 28-Dec-17 12:49:09

Ask them to buy you a tree from the Woodland Trust or a donkey for a poor farmer in a poor country, or a toilet for someone, again in a poor country, who hasn't one.

glammanana Thu 28-Dec-17 12:30:39

My grown up children and I always buy a special little gift for the tree either their favourite perfume or aftershave it is just a token gift for them to open when they visit on the day.
There are so many people who receive nothing and have no families to visit them I'm sure they would be grateful for anything especially a visit.

GrandmaMoira Thu 28-Dec-17 10:16:54

My sons and I do a Christmas (and birthday) list for adults. We don't get surprises but do get something we like. Other people have learnt gradually that I really don't like chocolate but I do still get more toiletries than I can use but do re-gift.

mrsmopp Thu 28-Dec-17 10:15:25

Smile sweetly, say thanks then pass the goods to charity shop or homeless shelter.
It's not worth upsetting anyone, least of all your DIL and son.

tanith Thu 28-Dec-17 10:10:45

Secret Santa is the answer we started this 2yrs ago and it works well. We set a limit and we each get a person to buy for, everyone does a wish list of things that they would like and instead of 12 presents I only have to buy one it's such a relief. This year I asked for a holdall I was going to buy anyway and a game I like.

tickertape Thu 28-Dec-17 09:59:05

Tokens!

tickertape Thu 28-Dec-17 09:58:37

It is annoying. I ask for takes but still get wine, chocolates and biscuits. I don't want that or smellies or candles as gifts. I smile but feel it is such a waste of money. I really have everything I need but id like my favoutrite perfume or a book from my book list etc. If it is the thought that counts then I think not much thought went into the choices.

Eglantine21 Thu 28-Dec-17 09:58:03

Is there something you'd really like that they could add to each year? I was thinking as I set the table for Christmas dinner that I'd really like matching cutlery. A few bits of a classic design every year would do the trick.
Bird food is my other standby request.

NanaandGrampy Thu 28-Dec-17 09:51:15

If they are determined to give then I think the solution is to tell them what you would like. Something as simple as a voucher as Maw suggests. You don't even have to keep them if you don't want to but could gift them on.

For myself, Id just smile, accept and regift :-)

kittylester Thu 28-Dec-17 09:51:14

Say 'thank you' and be grateful that they give you a gift at all. Either donate to a foodbank or use when you have visitors.

Nannylovesshopping Thu 28-Dec-17 09:44:57

I don't know what you can do about this but, your local food bank would be grateful for the contents, and you could use the hamper as storage, I keep all my dgds treasures in one I have, paintings cards postcards and lovely stuff from over the years that I couldn't bear to throw away

MawBroon Thu 28-Dec-17 09:40:40

Smile sweetly and regift it and/or say to your son that your willpower is being put to the test, how about a voucher/pot plant/book token/bath and shower gel (name a favourite) in future ?

Cabbie21 Thu 28-Dec-17 09:37:22

I know I am difficult to buy for. I don't need anything really and can afford to buy what I want, so a few years back I suggested that we stop exchanging presents between adults. It didn't last, as DS and DIL felt it was wrong not to give us anything. However since then almost every year I receive something unsuitable. This year it was a Mrs Bridges Hamper containing a load of sweet things. Now DH is diabetic, and I am overweight, so giving us all these jams, shortbread etc is really inappropriate., from someone who know us well.
Any advice how to break this cycle?