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"Cursing the gammon" An oldie, but apparently a GN Christmas tradition!

(14 Posts)
phoenix Sun 16-Dec-18 01:13:21

Start by getting out all of your biggest pans and finding that none of them is quite the right size/shape for the meat. Apply your first curse. Then you set it to boil on your newly cleaned hob, and wait for the spitting and splashing to begin. You can now curse again, even if you haven't rolled a 6.

You then realise that you forgot to make a note of the weight for timing purposes. Rummage in the bin for the wrapper and miss two goes. Now experiment with different positions for the lid in an attempt to minimise the splashing. Have another curse when you realise that none of the positions works. Say to anyone within earshot that it's the same every year, and why on earth didn't they remind you of that when you bought it. (Deflecting blame earns you an extra 10 points and a small sherry).

Realise that you forgot to set the timer, and try to estimate how long it has been boiling so far. Don't worry too much about accuracy; you are bound to be wrong. Apply an extra 30 minutes to be on the safe side, miss one go and have a sherry. After an appropriate length of time, drain and leave to cool. Award extra points if all of the water goes down the sink, but miss 2 sherries if any goes either on the draining board or your feet.

Cover with something to protect from cats (extra points available if a colander will actually fit over it, but deductions if you have to deploy either a tea towel or tin foil).

Apply final curse and enjoy

gmelon Sun 16-Dec-18 02:56:44

Take a "chance" card and gain a slow cooker? grin

DoraMarr Sun 16-Dec-18 08:02:44

Great fun, Phoenix!

merlotgran Sun 16-Dec-18 08:30:31

Thanks for reminding me, phoenix I haven't even bought mine yet. grin

MiniMoon Sun 16-Dec-18 09:45:33

We are not doing gammon! Good job too, because my daughter has my "one size fits all" pan.
I'm going to buy a ready prepared piece from the butcher.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 16-Dec-18 10:31:13

I am doomed, I cook 3 each year sometimes 4, 1 for us, 1 for each for two of AC (sometimes one of the other AC request one).

Miep1 Sun 16-Dec-18 11:05:11

I suggest you buy yourself a Pressure King Pro for Christmas! Not only does it cook beautiful gammon (IN coke with cinnamon, bay leaf, peppercorns etc in this house), it will slow cook, make bread and cakes, steam vegetables or Christmas pud and do a host of other things I could fill a page with. I bought one after reading glowing reviews that actually turned out to be true. I am the most sceptical person on the planet, but apart from my Magimix and my Kenwood, have never bought a better or more useful thing for the kitchen! No, I don't work for them. Get the 6l; your cooker hob will be free, you can do all your advace prep and freeze it in no time flat and leave yourself time to get totally blotto on that sherry>>>

Doodle Sun 16-Dec-18 11:21:18

Ah but phoenix you would miss the fun of this part of the Christmas tradition and what other excuse could you have for indulging in so many sherry's. Cheers! tchgrin

GrannyGravy13 Sun 16-Dec-18 12:07:11

The "sherry" phenomenon, My Grans and Mum loved sherry, but only in December????

Daughter and I are intent on keeping up this "family tradition" πŸŽ„πŸ€ΆπŸŽ…πŸ»πŸ₯ƒ

merlotgran Sun 16-Dec-18 12:12:50

Round here you can only buy sherry in December. hmm

Deedaa Sat 21-Dec-19 10:49:34

Only got a very small gammon this year so if I start cursing I shall probably have to forfeit Christmas all together!

Witzend Sun 22-Dec-19 09:41:53

Brilliant! Must remember to buy sherry since will be cooking ours tomorrow. Usually do it Chr. Eve but there won't be time this year.

Bathsheba Sun 22-Dec-19 09:51:27

Instant Pot for the win. Bung the gammon in on a bed of carrots and onions, chuck in a litre or so of cola and a couple of bay leaves, turn on and just leave it to do its magic! Best appliance I ever bought.

(But not as much fun as Phoenix's method grin)

grandtanteJE65 Sun 22-Dec-19 13:50:10

I am the happy owner of a basement larder that has a door, which can be locked! It is extremely useful for store food that the cat is not meant to have!