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Dad's Gift

(20 Posts)
granmarie1 Mon 09-Nov-20 13:55:05

Hi there, i have never posted on here before so please be kind to me!

My problem is that my father is 81 years old and over the past 2 years has had 2 massive strokes, been diagnosed with lung cancer and then in May this year was also diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

My quandary is that I cannot think of what to buy him for his birthday at the beginning of December and also for Christmas and was hoping someone could give me some inspiration.

His dementia is not so advanced so he is lucid quite a lot but with the medication he takes he is very sleepy and because of the strokes he has lost a lot of his attention span and is mostly housebound. Also, due to his medication, he cannot drink alcohol anymore.

Basically he is happy to spend 99% of his time in his chair watching reruns on tv.


Septimia Mon 09-Nov-20 13:58:15

Music in some form? As long as it's a genre he likes.

midgey Mon 09-Nov-20 14:15:43

There are some very simple radios available, just an on/off button.

phoenix Mon 09-Nov-20 14:18:38

Might sound boring, but what about some really good quality sheepskin slippers? If he's not very active he might appreciate having toasty toes.

Oopsminty Mon 09-Nov-20 14:20:38

Maybe a framed photo of the family?

Mind you I got my mother one of those digital frames which swaps from photo to photo. She wasn't keen!

So we ended up giving her a couple of framed photos. One of the great grandchildren and one of her dog

She definitely preferred the dog!

Or maybe you could do a calendar with different photos of whatever he likes. There are a lot of companies that do those. Also photo books.

Good luck with whatever you choose 🙂 xxx

silverlining48 Mon 09-Nov-20 14:27:35

How about a photo book which you can have made up with family photos with names dates places. It will help and give you both a talking point.
Perhaps a computer photo frame, sorry can’t think of the name.
Favourite Music is also good. A nice cake if he likes sweet things but most of all just be there to support him and make sure you get support too.
I am sorry, it must be very difficult. For him and for you.

silverlining48 Mon 09-Nov-20 14:28:13

Digital frame thanks oops just coukdnt think what they are called.....

Grandmabatty Mon 09-Nov-20 14:28:41

I think family photos sound good as it might help him remember who is who while he can. Magazine subscription?

silverlining48 Mon 09-Nov-20 14:28:53

Crossed posts great minds...

May7 Mon 09-Nov-20 14:36:46

How about a Smart speaker for example "Amazon Echo"
relatively cheap and very useful. It can do so many useful things and you could set it up for him. He doesnt even have to be internet savvy. Invaluable for my elderly parents

Granny23 Mon 09-Nov-20 15:26:35

Just to say that.......Earlier on his Dementia Journey, DH was interested in looking at old family photos. However, later, as his memory/cognition faltered, he found the family photos confusing and upsetting.

Best presents? Any amount of chocolates, or cakes. New clothes, especially a cosy, cuddly Dressing Gown, trousers exactly like his old ones but with an elasticated waist instead of buttons and zips and big, brightly coloured jumpers, CDs with compilations of his favourite music.

The surprise *Big Hit, was a battery operated, sleeping, purring cat, which he kept on his knee, stroking it while he listened to music or watched TV.

* Maybe not such a surprise and he had had a series of cats for most of his life.

Granny23 Mon 09-Nov-20 15:28:10

as not and

GrannySomerset Mon 09-Nov-20 15:38:28

I think we might like the cat! Where did it come from? At least DH couldn’t trip over it - could he?

MissAdventure Mon 09-Nov-20 15:52:09

This one has lots of reviews, and scores 4.5 out of 5.

kittylester Mon 09-Nov-20 15:59:35

I agree with May7. You can also programme it with reminders.

mumofmadboys Mon 09-Nov-20 16:17:39

Heated blanket?

granmarie1 Mon 09-Nov-20 18:10:47


thank you all so much for those comments.

I think the music and dressing gown will be top of the list but am seriously thinking about the cat wink

Chocolates are something that I take over whenever I go to see him so not too sure about those but might get him some nice expensive ones as a stocking filler. grin

Once again, many thanks for your help thanks

B9exchange Mon 09-Nov-20 18:15:58

The cat does sound a good idea. When my mother was in the advanced stages, the only thing she showed any interest in was the snowy white stuffed seal we had given her, she would sit cuddling that for hours.

MissAdventure Mon 09-Nov-20 19:07:06

Sorry, I'm a busybody.
This one is much, much cheaper, gets good reviews, and comes in lots of colours.
It may be worth trying it first?

MissAdventure Mon 09-Nov-20 19:08:11

I'm quite tempted myself, actually. smile