Christmas for a bereaved child

If you are into baking maybe you could ask her to help bake with you or get some bun/biscuit decorating things or if you have a specialist craft interest you could introduce her.
Kids need teaching skills and it can give you both some bonding quiet time. Or even some colouring books and a nice set of gel pens.
Be how you have always been they are obviously comfortable with you.
Could you speak to her and ask if there is anything she would like to eat or watch.
Such a sad family situation. My heart goes out to you all.

Gentle stuff like baking with you. Concentrating on something gives an opportunity to talk without eye contact. Give her gentle warmth.

Grandmatti you hit the nail on the head. Ask this child what she likes to see/eat/do at Christmas, involve her in the preparations and make time for her special routines at Christmas.

Good films (comedy etc, be sure that there's nothing with sad stuff going on) and chocs and games. Things to distract her from being sad for a while. Unless she seems to want to talk about the losses and her grief, in which you should let her. Personally I wouldn't go overboard on sentiment and memory boxes etc, unless she seems to want to go in that direction. It may be too raw just yet, especially at Christmas. Take your cues from her. If she wants to be quiet, just let her do that.

Poor little thing, so much for such a young one. Can you ask her in advance what she would like to do? Then ask for suggestions of what you can provide and prepare for that? Ask her about silly gaes, anythinglike that - even what she'd like to eat, Above all don't make a fuss. Then she would feel more in charge of things and that may help her.

Just organise board and card games for everyone to join in . Maybe give her a few extra Christmas presents . Don't go overboard with to much fuss , she may only be 10 but she would know you are doing it out of pity . Snuggle up with a few good films and chocolates . It's your love she needs and as long as you give her attention and include in everything , everything will be fine .

Snakes and ladders, ludo, silly hats, be a child yourself and let her laugh at you. Pictionary is always hilarious in our house.

Her Dad and Stepmum lost a baby earlier in the year and then in autumn they unexpectedly lost my Granddaughter’s step sister also aged ten. Although the child had health issues it was totally out of the blue and horrendously traumatic for all. DIL can’t bear to live in their family home and is living with her sister, my stepson and his daughter are living alone in the family home, it is all terribly sad. Poor DIL is just a colossal mess (understandably) and the child and my stepson are muddling along as best as they can. I feel so sad for them all...

Give Winstons Wish a call my daughter found their advice invaluable when her children’s Daddy died a few months before Christmas They are an organisation ( charity) especially for bereaved children and may be useful for you outside Christmas time too

PS. I would also be prepared for the child to be miserable and hate Christmas because of the person missing. Is it their mother? They may feel it acutely on the day and not show good Christmas spirit. Let them.

Or they might still find Christmas exciting and not seem to be affected.

You just don't know. Just go with however it unfolds with the child.

I have dealt with bereaved children who had a very close loss. My suggestion is that it's important to keep to the regular routine and keep things as normal as possible for them. Some people do like to add a little something, like lighting a candle in memory of the person who is missing, but I wouldn't do anything like that unless the immediate families of the children give the go ahead. It won't be the only year Christmas is tough if these are really personal losses either. I feel for the father having to do Christmas for the sake of the kids. It's so hard and he'd probably ignore it if he didn't have his kids to think of.

Christmas is really a cruelty for the bereaved, especially the first years.

So sorry to read this. I would make her feel extra special by spending as much unforced quiet time as possible. Perhaps having her own box, with her name in it, so if she can start making good memories again. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just hers. Put some age appropriate games in it that you can play together. Have a scrap book and bits and pieces with glue and fancy pens, all age appropriate of course. Baker Ross do some great easy crafty bits you can sit together and guide her with. She may even feel comfortable enough to speak about her losses. I believe children are much more resilient than we give them credit for. Whatever you chose to do make the box is hers.
Perhaps when she leaves, suggest her box remain at yours full of lovely memories for the next time she visits. You will look after it for her and it will always be there. Perhaps you can add to the box in the future when you get to know her likes and dislikes, you could talk about this as a reassurance that the next visit you can do some special things together again. Good luck.

Oh I am sorry to hear that. I would do what you normally do at Christmas, and follow her lead if perhaps she needs some quiet time, eg make sure she knows where she can go to to chill out. Normality, routine, love and trying to help her feel at home. I think you will be fine, you sound like you are doing a good job