Present for friend at Christmas (or birthday).

If a close friend a small useful gift is good or homemade gift if you make things. But present giving for the sake of it is pointless. There was mention of people choosing not to give presents to the adults at Christmas, but I think adults appreciate a gift as much as the children.

If you are at all crafty or enjoy cooking a homemade gift may be the answer. I always make a batch of Rum Butter before Christmas. Usually I make enough to give to a particular group of friends, different each year, but having seen hardly anyone this year I have a surplus, even though I made less. I gave a large jar to the vicar for the church fundraising hamper and a small pot for her to have herself but it looks like the rest will be consumed by me and my DD over Christmas!
I also make small beaded fabric decorations. I started with a view to selling for charity but they take so long to make that I don't think they'd sell for enough to make it worthwhile so they mostly get given as presents.
I like receiving homemade gifts as I know how much effort goes into them.

Suzette 1613
I am finding small gift easy this year. Buy a pretty/glamorous mask for a lady and a funny one for a man.

I have 'arrangements' with different friends that pleases us. A price limit definitely; with some it has to be 'charity shop', with one 'home-made. My favourite is with a friend where we agreed simply that 'it must do some good' such as support Fair Trade or a local producer.
I personally don't like the 'buy a goat' for someone, as it feels impersonal, but I see why it suits some.

Gave my neighbour a bottle of my (precious) home made sloe gin one year, only to hear him telling someone else he couldn’t drink because of his ongoing medication.

No doubt the family enjoyed it, but made me realise that a bottle of wine or similar is often not suitable for people.

Might I suggest (as said by a couple of other posters) that you say to your friend that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find an appropriate gift for her and as much as you appreciate her gifts, from next year you should agree not to exchange gifts, you could suggest the charity option or not, as you choose.

In the meantime, for this xmas (as it will be here in a matter of days and it's really too late to stop her buying you something), might I suggest a nice candle or if she keeps a diary/journal, maybe a nice notebook and/or pen.

Wine is a funny one if you don't know someone's preferences.

Plants and chocolate are easy options.

How about something from her favourite range of toiletries.

Are you a good baker? Maybe a homemade cake or cookies wrapped in a pretty bag might be good.

Hopefully, you've seen something that you think your friend will like from either my list or someone else's post. Good luck with finding the gift and I hope you'll be able to convince her not to buy anything next Xmas.

Last year a friend with whom presents were exchanged on birthdays and Christmas suggested that at our age it was difficult to know what to buy so instead give money to our favourite charity

I’ve now started giving Lottery tickets and/or scratch cards for presents. It is a friend’s birthday today ... I sent her £20s worth of scratch cards ... she has won £15. She said that it was quite exciting scratching them off.

In 'normal' times I meet up with 4 old friends for a pre-Christmas meal and we do a charity shop Secret Santa, each person has to spend £5 and wrap the gift. Everybody wins in this - sometimes the gift you receive is lovely, other times not to your taste, in which case you can give it back to your local charity shop. The charity benefits from the purchase of the items and if you re-donate it they benefit again. Suzette 1613 how about giving her a copy of a book you have read and enjoyed and then you can discuss it next time you meet up or speak to each other? Or does she do jigsaw puzzles - if so you could get a photo of the two of you together made into a jigsaw.

I have two very dear friends of over 40 years we have met just about every week for years and came up with a plan either you have to be able to eat it,burn it or grow it (the gift)Had great fun with that and love the 3 types of cookies one friend always gives,it’s just a token but sweet thought,I have given her presto logs for her fire with various things written on them———- I told my kids I don’t need anything so they give donations in my name,had 36 baby blankets donated,trees,half a goat etc
I like to give donations in peoples names.

Someone mentioned charity and that is the way out! For example Oxfam do a range of greeting cards for varying prices and the money goes to their charities. For example you can get "I got you a food for families gift card" or " I got you a poverty busting pig"!!! So you've helped a good cause and possibly annoyed whoever you wish would stop sending gifts!
onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped?pscid=ps_ggl_Google+-+Trading+-+Oxfam+Unwrapped+-+DSA_Oxfam+Unwrapped+

When I was working full time (and could afford to) I used to spend hours buying presents for friends and family - not just Christmas but little impromptu gifts such as a bar of chocolate, bunch of flowers from the weekly market, a mug for their tea break at work etc all meant just to cheer someone up on a bad day. I just hope that they were all appreciated and enjoyed.
Just a small gift such as some flowers, a book that you think she would like , a calendar, a mini hamper of cheese and biscuits(if she likes cheese of course) , most of which can be bought ready made from many of the supermarkets or made up yourself. Doesn't have to cost a lot.
Just be thankful that she likes you enough to give you a gift in the first place!

Make a donation to your local, hospice on her behalf, then maybe dhe will take the hint.

suzette, I know exactly what you mean, I am just no good at presents....

travelsofar,, I use a teapot! green tea... every morning!

I like buying and giving presents too, but nowadays, I ask people I get to know whether they want to exchange gifts or not.

Having been not very well-off for most of my adult life, I have come to realise that gift-giving can put the recipient in the difficult position of not really be able to afford to give a return gift.

Also, you don't know whether a casual acquaintance or really anyone except a very close friend might have reasons not to want to be given chocolates or wine.

Diabetics may be willing to say they can't eat chocolates, but most alcoholics are embarrassed to admit that they don't dare accept a bottle of anything alcoholic, because they know what it will lead to.

If your friend is local, find a shop you like and buy a voucher for her to get what she wants and to support a local business!!

I love the idea of setting a limit, say £5. You can have fun finding something good in a charity shop or if you can't be bothered buy a box of sweets.

I love getting thoughtful gifts but stress about what to give to others. This year has made me rethink why i give to those i do. Some are off the list. My gift to those closest includes friendly phone calls, a distanced walk, the odd homemade cake or biscuits throughout the year. friendship has no price and a gift so easily given. Merry Christmas x,

The only pressies we give or receive are between us and our daughter, and one old friend. And we ask each other what we'd like and don't spend very much. The joy of Christmas is spending time together, lovely meals, tv etc.

We’ve done the sponsorship of a hearing dog this year instead of sending cards and having the pup dates sent to our grandchildren which I’m sure they’ll enjoy. If you find our her favourite perfume that always goes down well even if it’s just travel size ? Also I noticed m and s have lovely plant arrangements this year quite reasonable too !

One of the beat presents we’ve ever been given was a teacosy made by my DIL. She even appliquéd a Labrador on the side (our dog at the time). We use it every day and I think of her and the dog, every time.

Gingster I have a theory that some people are natural hosts and some people are natural guests.
Maybe they just love cooking and enjoy having people to cook for?
Your neighbours obviously really enjoy your company and if you enjoy theirs could you just accept their invitations without feeling obliged to reciprocate?
Take a bottle of wine or a box of after dinner mints and they'd probably be happy with that.

My oldest friend usually makes me an xmas pud as my gift and i usually buy her some item relating to xmas as she sets great store about decorating her home with things that hold memories for her and from her childhood even. This way i know what i buy will be used and it will always remind her of our friendship for over 35 years. It may just be a decoration for her tree, but a special one. This year i have found a beautiful cut glass candle holder decorated with a christmas scene and i have put a lovely red candle inside. I also knitted her a christmas teapot cosy in red white and green. She is the only person i know who still uses a teapot!!!

Some years ago I suggested to friends that we stop buying Christmas gifts and give to charities (of our own choice) instead. (We still do birthdays.) This has been a much better arrangement and I've been glad to donate to the charities I support.

I would just give a small gift, as others have said, a plant, chocolates or bottle of wine is very acceptable. I don’t agree that it’s pointless but no need to get stressed. (I’d be very happy if someone gave me a box of chocolates!). We have neighbours who have gone from exchanging small token gifts, which I think is rather nice, to giving increasingly expensive items. Last year was two rather expensive and personal glasses...I still just give the token gifts...