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Nieces and nephews at Christmas

(22 Posts)
NannyB2604 Sun 27-Dec-20 17:04:33

Hi all, hope you're doing ok. Just a quick question to ask people's opinions. Between us, DH and I have 3 nephews and 2 nieces, none of whom live nearby and 3 of whom have children. We sent gifts to them all (the gift cards they requested for the adults, books for the children). AIBU unreasonable in feeling a bit miffed that 2 of them have not only not acknowledged the gifts, but also haven't replied to my "Happy Christmas" messages? Am I just being a mardy (I'm from Yorkshire!) old bat?

Greenfinch Sun 27-Dec-20 17:09:05

I think it is too soon to expect everyone to have replied. If you don't get a reply at all then you are justified in feeling miffed.

midgey Sun 27-Dec-20 17:10:27

You may get a proper letter......with a stamp on!

Casdon Sun 27-Dec-20 17:13:09

Yes YABU, it’s only 27th December.

Spangler Sun 27-Dec-20 17:28:47

NannyB2604 when I was a small boy, all my grandparents and other relations would send me a card, usually with either a one pound note in it, or maybe a ten bob note. From an age when I could barely read and write, along with my sister, I would write a thank you letter to each and everyone.

I remember that because when I was six, (I think) my sister and I had a Toy Town post office Christmas gift. We wrote on Toy Town note paper a thank you to my grandparents, put the letter in a Toy Town envelope, stuck a Toy Town stamp on the envelope and posted it.

The receiving sorting office put a surcharge to pay on the envelope, but the post lady was having none of that. She went ballistic. "Two small babies," she shrieked, "writing a thank you to their grandparents, and you want to surcharge it. Shame on you!" The surcharged was waived.

Later in life I learned that the story made the local press and then the nationals got hold of it. I told you that because we are of a generation that knew please and thank you. It saddens me that your relatives haven't acknowledged their gifts. But as midgey said, you might still get a letter. If you do, and it's got a Toy Town stamp on it............................

glammanana Sun 27-Dec-20 17:36:51

Oh Spangler I remember my own Toy Town Post Office set bought for me when I was about 5yrs old.It had postal orders in it as well for 2/6d 10shillings and £1.pound and a little rubber stamp.

NannyB2604 Sun 27-Dec-20 17:37:20

Thanks all. Just a thought ... I did give the presents for the niece and nephew in question to their dad (my DB) a few weeks ago (in a socially distanced way, of course) - maybe he's forgotten to pass them on (they did all spend Christmas Day together, before you ask). Will see what happens in the next few days ...

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 27-Dec-20 17:40:36

Our adult nieces and nephews are in their 40s and have never sent Thank you letters, their mother also never sent them! So we stopped giving them gifts and now just give to their children, they never send thank you letters either!
Our children and GCs always have and still do send thank yous.

Grandma70s Sun 27-Dec-20 17:59:53

I am waiting in hope for thank-yous from my great-nieces, or failing that (the youngest is only a year old) from my nephew, their father. We’ll see.

My brother and I wrote thank you letters in December 1947, when I was 7 and my brother about 10, to a French friend of my father who had sent us presents. He kept them, and when he died many years later his descendants sent them to my father. They are dated 27th December 1947. Very touching. Spelt properly, too, though I expect someone was keeping an eye on that!

Georgesgran Sun 27-Dec-20 19:07:35

My DH has 2 adult nephews - we never hear from them although he’s quite close to his sister - 3 hours away. I still send quite expensive gifts and never a thank you, note, text or kiss my a**e! Several years ago I sent them cheques and the elder nephew never cashed his! Apparently, I discovered he’d lost it - £50 must have been small change to him then.

Sparkling Sun 27-Dec-20 19:14:21

Why don’t you just send cards. If no one acknowledges them they are not bothered. Perhaps they will be acknowledged but if they never have, maybe not. I would donate it to a charity that need it.

Grammaretto Sun 27-Dec-20 20:19:09

If I were you and you hear nothing NannyB just ask if they received the gifts. A wee nudge never harmed anyone.
Some of our DGC are better than others at acknowledgements and thankyous (or rather their parents train them)

I can't complain this year as I have been sent videos of DGS playing the piano music I sent him and the 2 DGD on their new sledge, in the snow, whooping with delight..

MawBe Sun 27-Dec-20 21:18:55


Oh Spangler I remember my own Toy Town Post Office set bought for me when I was about 5yrs old.It had postal orders in it as well for 2/6d 10shillings and £1.pound and a little rubber stamp.

That was one of my favourite toys too!

GrannySomerset Mon 28-Dec-20 11:25:14

Spangler and Maw - mine too! I had more than one over the years and played happily on my own for hours.

TerriBull Mon 28-Dec-20 11:35:30

Gone are the days of thank you letters I remember my father standing over us as soon as Christmas was over this was something we had to do. Of course it's easier to send a text, but I guess it's still early days, although not sure everyone thinks of such nicities these days.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 28-Dec-20 11:41:26

When I was a child my mother sat us down to write thank you letters for Christmas presents on the afternoon of New Year's Eve. That was quite usual at that time.

We're not there yet, so you might still get an answer.

This is such a common problem these days, that I would be tempted to say we probably just have to accept this lack of manners.

However, did these people formerly remember to thank you? If they did, you are justified in mentioning that you felt hurt that they hadn't done so this year.

It is probably better not to, no-one likes being told off, after all.

If they never wrote thank you notes, they are not likely to start now.

PaperMonster Mon 28-Dec-20 20:24:29

It’s a bit early to expect a thank you note! My daughter started on hers yesterday evening. She’s doing one a day but they won’t be posted until the end of the week.

Doodledog Mon 28-Dec-20 21:04:11

Remember that people aren't going out, so getting to the post office for stamps isn't as easy as it was.

I think it is a bit unreasonable to expect to have had a letter already. It is only Monday, and Saturday was a bank holiday!

Harris27 Mon 28-Dec-20 21:09:51

No your not being miffed for no reason I’ve done the same and it will be like last year nothing.

Chardy Mon 28-Dec-20 22:04:02

How difficult is a text? Ten seconds?

NannyB2604 Tue 29-Dec-20 07:36:52

I'm not expecting letters, just a text or WhatsApp acknowledgement. The niece and nephew in question are 29 and 33 respectively. My great nephew, who has his own phone, is 11. Just a "Happy Christmas, thanks for the gift" in reply to my message on Christmas Day would have been nice

NannyB2604 Fri 01-Jan-21 09:42:02

OK, yesterday (New Year's Eve) I sent WhatsApp messages to niece and nephew wishing them a Happy New Year and asking if their dad had remembered to pass on cards and presents. My niece sent me a mortified message thanking me and attaching photos of what they'd bought with their gift card. Nothing from nephew so far, but a 50% return isn't so bad, I guess. Subject closed. Happy New Year everyone x smile