alone at christmas

I work in a care home and always volunteer to work Christmas Day, well the afternoon two till eight… not really a Christmassy person. You have had some very good advice on here nothing I can really add….

I have spent at least 7 Christmases on my own. I buy something really different for my evening meal and watch TV or do a washing- whatever takes my fancy! I always open a bottle of wine and on the whole there is usually something watchable on TV. I can always read a book and provided the heating is working I am happy!

Sorry to hear it’s not been a good year for you nexus. I hope Christmas will be ok for you.

Sympathy for you too poshpaws

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Well even the thought of being alone at Xmas makes me feel weepy and when it does loom up I dread it untill i've sorted something out

I have never yet spent Christmas Day alone. When I was a nurse I often worked on Christmas day and since then I've either been with my daughter's families or they have been with me. Sorry I can't send you any advice.

Christmas is so overrated.

Being alone at Christmas isn’t a disaster or a tragedy!

Being alone at Christmas ( or any other time of the year) can be a luxury.

Being alone becomes a problem only if you allow it to.

Do whatever you feel like doing, my friend went out for a walk in the hills when she had her first Christmas without visitors, she really enjoyed it. I would add that she is normally very sociable and loves entertaining, she saw this as a nice change.

All of the above sound good suggestions.?
poshpaws how very sad for you, but you made the best of things for yourself at Christmas.

Any organisations you can volunteer with for the day. I did once, helping provide a Christmas dinner for elderly in local community centre. Sure there are loads of places serving the homeless that would appreciate an extra pair of hands for serving/clearing up.

I had my first Christmas alone last year, having lost my beloved husband to Covid in May 2020, and my DS & DIL not being able to visit from England due to travel restrictions. I thought that even though I'm pretty much a loner, it might be a really difficult time. However, I found a local hotel which was open for Christmas Lunch, and booked that, just to spoil myself, and found it a really lovely experience. (Book early not in December, if you decide to do this!) Then in the evening my DS & DIL and I had a lovely phone call where we opened our presents from each other and "oohed and aahed" - it wasn't, obviously, as wonderful as when my DH was there with me physically, but it meant the day was special.

I also think previous posters have given you some great suggestions.

I hope when it comes, you end up having a lovely Christmas.

Spoil yourself in whatever way makes you happy! Enjoy your very favourite food and drink! Watch your choice of TV, Christmassy or not, play music that makes you feel good, muse, think about the year ahead perhaps, read! I have spent several Christmases alone when my children were otherwise engaged or having a family Christmas with their father (why shouldn’t they?!) and I don’t really mind it; I usually am involved over one of the days, Christmas Eve / Boxing Bay etc. This year I was gearing up for other solo Christmas Day quite happily. My elder girl has four children and understandably they want to be in their own home. Their dad hasn’t got a wonderful place to live (his choice btw) so I told her to invite him, the other two being at their in laws. Anyway, turns out she wants us both to go now as things have thawed considerably between us fifteen years down the line and he is ok with it. Must admit it IS nice to be with our grandchildren together on the rare occasions that it happens. But solo Christmases are not a dread for me personally.

I will do what I have been doing since the loss of DH.
Reflecting on Christmas's past, watching t v, or if a fine day walking to the beach,with my flask of coffee where I will no doubt find like minded people ready to chat.

Do you know anyone else who will be alone? A surprising number of people are, and some don't like to say. You could spend the day together, sharing the pre shopping and cooking. That's what happens in our road anyway. The years my children are going to their in-laws for the big day everyone comes to me in the morning for nibbles, and present opening and then goes on to lunch. Then DH and I have our lunch in the evening. You have to compromise a little at Christmas!

Slightly off topic but - I've just received my first Christmas card! Hope the next one is awhile off.

I think that's a bit unkind of them but in your case I think I'd go away somewhere warm with other like minded solos, or if you don't fancy abroad there's plenty of other places in UK.

I've spent one Christmas alone and it was absolutely fine (in fact, it was other people's reactions that were worse). Lots of people spend it alone, especially as we get older. Got myself a new pair of Christmas pyjamas and slippers, and spent most of the day in them - including breakfasting on my favourite coffee and box of chocolates (why not ??) Think about all your favourite food and get it in - not Christmassy? So what! Stock up on films, and the day will fly by. An elderly aunt (who died a few years ago at 90) nearly always spent Christmas alone and hated "being dragged" (her words) into someone-else's Christmas. Her avoiding neighbours included sitting in the back room with the lights out so that no-one would see she was home! She refused to answer any phone calls and just enjoyed her sherry, her small ready meal and doing a new jigsaw. This is YOUR Christmas - decide how you want to spend it.

Xmas is just one day - many people choose to ignore it and follow with normal life.

Others, do what they havent been able to do ever - eat a special dish, just eat a sandwich but they couldn't before because "it's xmas! You cannot eat that in xmas!", binge movies, volunteer, go for a walk, etc

Xmas can also be celebrated in a different day

Do not let useless artificial social constraints limit what you can do

Christmas is a state of mind. Think of it as a celebratory day where you can indulge yourself in whatever way you wish.
I've spent the last 3 Christmases on my own, watched lots of rubbish TV, read books I've bought myself for Christmas, and eaten easily prepared meals that I enjoy.

I know some people do volunteer work on Christmas day and say they really find it rewarding. Here is a link I've just found
www.bigissue.com/news/activism/how-to-find-volunteer-work-in-your-local-area-this-christmas
Maybe you could combine volunteering with planning lots of nice things for yourself? I salute you for planning ahead and hope you have a wonderful day!

When I was in my 20’s I always spent Christmas on my own. I had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but I was working in a social club so always lots of people around to chat to from 12-3pm. They had a Christmas Dinner after the club closed, for the local elderly people and others who were on their own, and I was always invited.

But I honestly preferred to go home, throw off my clothes, shower off the beer and smoke fumes and then lie in a hot bubble bath for an hour.

Pizza and chips was perfect for one, rounded off with a fancy whipped cream hot chocolate. Curled up in front of the tv, watching all the old rubbish that was on.

Daughter went to Nannies, and spent Christmas with her (it saved my Mum being alone too) and I joined them very early on Boxing Day for a few days.

I’m not a lover of Christmas and have in the past gone away to a lovely hot sunny country to lie on the beach with a good book.

So do whatever you fancy OP, if you don’t want to be alone invite a friend, or offer your services at a local church or group if they’re having a Christmas lunch.

My elderly neighbour goes to the church every year, (except during Covid of course) and says she has a wonderful time. Meeting new people, chatting with old friends she’s made and always comes home with a food package and a couple of small gifts.

Make it YOUR day - all about you ?

Like others, I suggest you pamper yourself. Get in all your favourite things. In the evening a lovely relaxing bath with candles and a glass of something nice. Into cosy clothes or jimjams. I enjoy doing a good Christmas jigsaw, with nice glass of wine and music playing. Or find good film on TV. Hopefully some of your family will ring or Skype you. Enjoy.

I've spent some great Christmas's on holiday - I've posted about them before on this Forum. Italy, Croatia, Bulgaria. Last year with Covid my son came over for an hour in the morning but the rest of the day I was alone, I didn't like it one bit. Too many memories of family Christmas's .... Ghosts of Christmas Past.

Just You, Solo's, Leger etc all do trips, some in the UK with the possibility of cancellations of foreign travel. I'd suggest a singles/solo trip as others with couples can make you feel even more alone!

Just wondering why you haven’t been invited to any of your DCs houses?

I think you do right to pamper yourself and if you can get a couple of good books you can snuggle down to, I also like gaming and enjoy playing on my x box just on my own, TV is a great blessing, but hope your not lonely as Christmas day is special and we all should be kinder to each other, a nod a smile a merry Christmas hurts nobody.