Christmas disasters

Thanks so much for this thread Maw, and for everybody relating their disasters. I‘ve been in stitches with some of them. I’m sorry a certain poster saw fit to say something nasty (as per). Don’t let her upset you.

MayBeMaw I have absolutely loved this post, and hilarious mishap comments from people. It has made my day.

My only Xmas mishap was when I set the temperature dial on the oven for dinner and forgot about turning the switch to 'on'. So when I went to put the turkey in the oven - no heat! I thought the oven was broken until DH pointed out to me I'd forgotten to switch the blasted oven on.

Not exactly a culinary disaster either, but one year we arrived late at the ferry port in France on Christmas Eve due to snow. We were just in time to see the boat sailing off to Portsmouth. The problem was we had all the wine in the car for that evening's party! A few phone calls later and a changed route plan, we managed to arrive in London a bit late to the party but with the necessary booze.

Usually help the Christmas dinner preps with a few glasses of Cherry brandy. Yes, well jolly and never problems with dinner. That is until one year, for some reason, I remained totally sober and dropped the turkey. What a mess but a lesson I learned - never cook the Christmas dinner unless at least a little tipsy.

Not a culinary disaster and didn’t happen to me personally.
The year we were married we were flying out to Australia at new year to live, supposedly forever, and decided to treat both sets of parents to Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant.
It was very well heated and mother in law sat in the winter sunshine with her back to the patio door. A small rather round woman on spindly legs.
At her request one of the doors was opened a tad. As she finished her dinner she leaned so far back in her chair she ended up falling back through the open door with legs in the air.
Just as well she wasn’t hurt because I’m afraid Orlin and I found it very funny and couldn’t control ourselves.

I’m afraid Gabrielle ‘s sour comments have risked spoiling this thread- I was enjoying all the “disaster stories” too!
However, nothing daunted…..
So, long long ago on a distant galaxy my mother was once given a turkey by farming friends. What was not to like?
Cookers were smaller in those days - well our old gas one certainly was- and the bliddy bird would not fit into the oven!
By the time she realised, it was Christmas morning and no chance of nipping out for sausages or a haggis supper so she decided to cut the wings and legs off and somehow wedged it in.
Disaster averted.
I suppose she could be said to have invented the turkey crown?

A certain poster is really winding me up atm MaybeMaw. She shoots flames at anyone she can target. Her comment on this thread regarding care over Christmas is completely unforgivable. I don’t generally participate much on forums but I commented on the thread about online shopping today and cleaning after a comment left by the same person.

NanaandGrampy I laughed so much at your post I could hardly read it aloud to OH. It was imagining the stunned dogs, both clumped with a flying turkey, that did it for me! We had a mini disaster one year when the cat managed to get up onto the kitchen work surface - never happened before - and under the foil, to chew one of the legs of the cooked turkey that was awaiting carving. Unfortunately I wasn't organised enough to have another turkey cooked and ready, so I had to hastily trim the offending area and hand it over to OH to carve when he breezed into the kitchen. I have never mentioned this ghastly event until now...

Thisismyname1953

@maybemaw. She was getting at you for getting your father into a nursing home . Without knowing any circumstances she is being very cheeky casting aspersions on your care of your dad . ?

Thank you Thisismyname
Blimey - what a blankety blank cheek to make assumptions about my father’s choices about staying in his home town in his beloved Scotland in the wee town where he had friends, where his brother and sister-in-law lived and his family have been for over 200 years. Of course I would rather have had him live with us, but with an incurably ill husband unable to work and a full time teaching job (as somebody had to pay the mortgage), it would not have been easy. And don’t think Gabriellewhatsit that we did not try to get him to move south when Mum died, but he refused point blank and with hindsight, it woukd have broken his heart.
As for “impressing” anybody by hosting my widowed MIL and DH’s family over Christmas , what is she on about? I am somewhat speechless at the effrontery at making judgements about something that poster knows bu**er all about. ??????

@maybemaw. She was getting at you for getting your father into a nursing home . Without knowing any circumstances she is being very cheeky casting aspersions on your care of your dad . ?

It wasn’t really a disaster but we had little money when the kids were young and always did the Boxing Day sales, where I promptly burst my waters while in a homewares store picking up boxes of ceramic tiles to do up our kitchen. ? never to be forgotten.

NanaandGrampy

This brings back memories lol

Early on in our marriage when I was still a novice in the turkey dept , I cooked a huge turkey for a family gathering. I got the tin out of the oven and had the 'inspired' idea of shoving a rolling pin inside to lift it out of the pan and drain off any juices.

The initial insertion went swimmingly, I tilted the turkey and then turned to slide the turkey off onto a platter. I obviously turned too fast because the slippery little sucker flew off my rolling pin and - to the the Dam Busters tune in my head -bounced down the length of the kitchen like a bouncing bomb!! It hit one dog on the way , careered off the other and hit the radiator as if we were under nuclear attack!!

Both dogs were too stunned by the assault to tear after it so fortunately I got it before them.

There was nothing for it , with guests imminent but to rinse it off under the tap and hope for the best !!

Took weeks to clear up every scrap of turkey fat that had decorated the kitchen and I have to say every time someone said - the turkeys lovely and moist I grinned !!

??????????????

I had 3 children, aged 8, 6 and 18 months, and my 4th was due at the beginning of January. She decided that she didn't want to miss Christmas, so arrived on 18th December. DH got a few days off work until I arrived back home on 21st. Instead of taking it easy I went into overdrive with the delayed Christmas preparations, and ended up having a haemorrhage. Baby and I were whipped back into hospital for a few days. Poor DH was left trying to organise the best Christmas he could manage by himself, for the children, and we ate our Christmas dinner on New Year's Day.
The kids got their presents, and their choice of food on Christmas Day (Fish fingers, chips and beans) and visited the baby and me in the afternoon.
Not a Christmas that we easily forgot!

Purplepixie

One year my DH (at that time) invited all of his family and omitted to tell me until Christmas Eve! I was expecting our first at the time and could have done with going out for the day! Luckily I had lots of frozen vegetables in the freezer and the turkey was huge. My mam and his mam joined forces, rolled up their sleeves and did most of it for me. THEN the gravy was placed in a Pyrex dish and put on the sink side. Hot met cold and it exploded!!!!!!!!!!! Hell!!! It was the last straw and it is a wonder that I didnt go into labour. Luckily all the food was covered and we all gathered together and cleaned up the mess. More gravy was made. No one was hurt! THEN my MIL dropped the christmas pudding and my mam stood on it! One of our neighbours came to the rescue with a couple of christmas puddings that she had and the custard was made. We laughed about it for ages after infact I had hysterics at one point!

So funny purple pixie, especially the Christmas pudding!

Nanaandgrampy.
Absolutely in stitches when I read your post. I read it out to OH, who in turn couldn’t compose himself. What a cracker ?

One Christmas many years ago just after we married we had a big Boxing Day party, I spent all day making platters and platters of food but too many to go into the fridge and didn’t want to put on dining table in a warm room. So DH had an idea to put up a pasting table outside the back door and with everything covered thought would be OK until guests arrived. As I put the last platter on the table the whole thing collapsed smashing all the platters.
Sooo I am afraid instead of throwing it all away we picked out the broken glass and china and put on new plates. I was terrified someone would find a piece and choke or cut mouth.

I can remember my Grandad dying on Boxing Day, I was quite young. Dad had to then drive up from Cornwall to Hampshire for some reason. Mum made him turkey sandwiches which he ate in a lay by.
It put me off Christmas really, it is not my favourite time of year.

@NanaandGrampy; I giggled visualising the turkey bouncing off the dogs! My 2 would have cleaned up the turkey fat though.

I once forgotten to serve the Brussels sprouts!!!

I didn't even realize until I found them next day still in the pan on the cooker.

For a lot of people, I know that wouldn't be a disaster - the opposite probably - but we all love them in our family. The great mystery is how come none of us even noticed there weren't any on the table

There was that one time the oven caught fire with the turkey in it........

Some years ago we had our niece with her husband and 2 small children and my SIL and BIL all coming to stay with us. On Christmas Eve we discovered that the sewer at the side of the house was blocked. Horrible visions of coping with a houseful and non-functioning loos! We phoned a plumber who had done some work for us and two men came out and unblocked us. Beyond the call of duty but it saved the day. At the end of the visit niece’s husband, who had done absolutely nothing to help in any way including looking after the children commented that ‘That was the most relaxing Christmas I have ever had!’ Strong words were spoken in his ear by SIL but he is Italian and was used to being waited on hand and foot.

My worst Christmas,last year when we had a fire on Christmas Eve.I managed to cook dinner for seven in a s.ow cooker and a portable.e two ring hob,amidst the wreck of my kitchen

In the late 70’s after I married I used to host my parents for Xmas Dinner at my home. After dropping off my Dad at the pub I went to back to collect my Mam but got waylaid by unexpected visitors. It was only when Mam and I got into the car after the guests had left that I found it wouldn’t start. I’d forgotten to switch the headlights off and the battery had gone flat. So it was back into my parent’s house, where I made sandwiches and opened a tin of fruit salad and carnation cream which we ate after my Dad arrived back from the pub for our ‘Christmas Dinner’. Fortunately a friend was able to get the car started using jump leads later that day. We finally managed to eat our Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day.

One year I was persuaded that it would be easier to cook the Turkey on Christmas Eve, something my friend had been doing for years. Half way through the cooking we had a power cut, we wrapped it in foil and drove it across the town to my mother in laws home where she had the oven on in readiness to revive my part cooked turkey! Never again, although I guess we could have had the power cut on Christmas Day too.

MayBeMaw

Gabrielle56

Message deleted by GNHQ

What are you talking about?

Still wondering @gabrielle56 who that was addressed to?
And with what justification?