You definitely need to have a conversation with your family.
I too, am the family host. On my 15th year. I love it! But I do understand how much work it is. I am finally sitting down after cooking the last 2 days for our American Thanksgiving today. I could almost fall asleep sitting up right now.
You have hosted for 41 years. The family may have thought/felt, erroneously or not, that there was an implied expectation for them to all go to your house every year, so they never executed their own plans. They may feel that, since you aren't having the regular big dinner, that they have permission to do their own thing. They may also feel like, by staying home, they are giving you a well deserved break.
I am not saying that is the case, but I think it is worthy of consideration.
Daisy79, I am thinking by buffet they mean like our potluck where everyone brings a dish? That is how I read it but maybe I am wrong.
To go through chemo therapy or choose not to?
Angela Rayner lashes out and calls Sunak “pint sized loser”.