Addressing an envelope to an unmarried couple

I usually just put the name of my friend/relative, then 'and family'.

In simply put 'The inhabitants '. Worked for many years with no problem so far.

Trisher is correct and it saves complications if a couple divorce and there is a second wife. It isn't a matter of being old-fashioned; most etiquette rules are there to clarify matters.
The husband of a divorced couple I knew remarried and all three had the same Christian name initial. They all used the same bank and the second wife expected the first wife to revert to her maiden name because she didn't think she had the right to continue to use 'her'name.

Years ago DJ’s cousin had a live in girlfriend (been married a long time now) and I was told to send Christmas cards to Mr. ————- and Sally. ( not real names). It all felt very odd at the time but they were happy with it.

I am in my 70s and one of those people who live with my partner, once married and never again!

I much prefer to be addressed as Jack and Jill on envelopes than all the palaver of Mr so and so and Mrs so and other so.

Or if they are friends, family I know then just my name and then both names on the card and vice versa.

Not that it really matters, receiving the cards is the important thing to us

We have two lots of family couples. They get just their first names on the envelope.

We just use their fore names, so Betty and James, etc.

As Lucca said

Or even
Betty Blue and James Smith

To
James Smith & Betty Blue

I never use the husband's initial for just the wife because it makes her seem like his property and is crazily old fashioned. For singletons I just write their name 'Jane Jones'. If a married couple I put 'Mr and Mrs Smith'. If not married I just use their first names 'Jack and Jill' because who cares what's on the envelope, only the postman sees it.

How do they sign themselves when they write to you?
I have unmarried couples to whom I send cards but usually start by writing both Christian names and then remember I have to write both surnames so it ends up an ungainly
Jack and Jill
Smith Jones
I daresay that's what you are trying to avoid!

If I was posting it I would put Tom Smith and Ann Jones.

If I was shoving it through the door or giving it to them directly I would just put Tom and Ann

trisher

My mother always insisted that a married woman took her husbands initial when she was sent a letter and only regained her own initial when she was widowed. So John Smith's wife Linda was Mrs J Smith until he died when she became Mrs L Smith.

this is one of the things that enrages women on MN, esp from MILs, some of whom seem to do it just to annoy their DIL.
so be warned !

I have usually known one longer than the other so I will send it to Jill Jones but address Jack Smith inside the card.

I just write Sue and Jim, or whatever their names are.

trisher, my mother used to say the same, but it always seemed terribly old fashioned to me. For married couples with the same surname I just write Sue and Jim Jones.

My mother always insisted that a married woman took her husbands initial when she was sent a letter and only regained her own initial when she was widowed. So John Smith's wife Linda was Mrs J Smith until he died when she became Mrs L Smith.

If one of them is my friend, and they / I then met later their partner, I address the envelope to my friend eg Joy Smith. Inside I put both/ all names. Eg to Joy, John, Jane and Jeremy.

Thanks all for your replies - interesting points of view! It has never bothered me that I took my husband’s name when we got married, but that was 42 years ago and attitudes have changed considerably since then! I think I’ll go with the initials and surnames.
Thanks again - better crack on with writing my Christmas cards! ??

Yes, put both their names on the envelope. I am doing away with the Mr & Mrs palaver - I'm Linda not Miss not Mrs not Ms, just Linda - could solve all these gender rants too....

I would always write both names in the form the people themselves use, which here is usually something like Anne Jensen and Tom Smith.

To do otherwise strikes me as rather impolite.

I would never only use their given names, even if they were five year olds.

As Lucca said above, anything else would be wrong. I still reel when I get birthday and Christmas cards from a very old friend addressed to me with my husband's Christian name initial and not mine I only ever took his surname. Lets not forget these days many women prefer to be known by their maiden name anyway and at least 50 per cent of cohabiting couples aren't married and don't want their identity merged with that of the man they are living with.

I think it depends how well you know them. Sometimes I just write Jack and Jill.

I would use their first names.

R.Smith and J,Jones ?