Home alone this Christmas

I am completely ready again this year, will be visiting relatives twice but do much prefer my own bed so am travelling twice, in opposite directions. Me doing the travelling and coming back to my bed is my thoughtful way of taking some pressure off them and is my choice

The time between is alone but definitely not lonely

"This year however, they are having Christmas at their home and I am not invited. I cannot tell you how much this has hurt me. The explanation given is that I live on my own so don't seem to need people, they have assumed that I will enjoy having Christmas on my own".

This seems a pretty lame excuse on their part and I am not surprised that you feel extremely hurt. I would like to bet, if you were to suggest hosting a get together for them at your house they'd all be there like a shot.

Not everyone on GN will be with family and friends this Christmas as there are lots of people who simple have no one. Are you in a position to do some volunteering on Christmas Day or is there a local Community Centre that is open for the day?

Hello everyone. I'm new to Gransnet and was just wandering around online feeling a bit sorry for myself. I don't have a partner or my own children and usually live on my own during the year. But Christmas has always been a special time of year for me, a time for families to get together. Or so I thought. As I have grown older, other family members have gone away for Christmas to treat the person who usually does all the cooking and cleaning, leaving me on my own. I've always been fine with that because we have a separate celebration later. Then other family members have gone to live in other countries but have come back to spend Christmas in UK. This has meant that it's the only time I get to see the children who are growing up fast. This year however, they are having Christmas at their home and I am not invited. I cannot tell you how much this has hurt me. The explanation given is that I live on my own so don't seem to need people, they have assumed that I will enjoy having Christmas on my own. I've read about all the lovely things that some of you do when in a similar situation but that's what I do everyday. I guess I now have to put myself in the situation when I was a child that I am now the older relative that I never got to see from one year to the next.

Old thread.

Sorry, Allsorts, I can't answer that, as this Christmas hasn't happened yet!

I love these, I enjoy knitting, knitting a gnome at the moment. Last year I had a stall for charity and made lots of chocolate orange covers, elf’s, santas and snowmen . It stops the boredom not being able to work.

When I got into my 40s and was living away from my home city I dreaded the C holidays and having to spend them with parents. One year a friend invited me to stay with her in Morocco so I gladly went. I ejoyed it so much (being in a non christian country) next year I went to India/Nepal to get away from it. Then it clicked with me that I didnt actually HAVE to go away for C, just SAY I was going away. No one was any the wiser as there were no smart phones then and mobiles were too expensive to take abroad.

Fast forward several decades and I am happy to be on my own at C and any other time. For me a good few days is when I dont have to answer the door, go outside or speak to anyone.

It would not do if we all felt the same but I value my own company.

Its likely to be a choice between a very crowded busy 2/3 days with my own Ds and family but also in Laws, I dont know them well, nowhere to sleeper rest properly, or going up a few days after c mas just to DS and family, and I think it will be the latter and it's fine.

I will be warding of any well meaning offers (shudder) but in the past have spent several c mas alone and it was fine.

An old thread and a rather patronising one at that.
I have spent enjoyable Christmas Days on my own, relaxing and eating whatever I liked. Also spent many of them working as well which I enjoyed, allowed people with young children to be at home together.
Some of us are quite happy with our own company and don't want to be pressured into joining family groups.

I’ve had very “busy” Christmases and quiet ones. Now we have DD, DSiL and DGD Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and then DS, DDiL and DGS from Boxing Day for a few days, with DD etc for meals. It’s quite a hectic week! Would I swop it for a quiet time? No. I’ll just go with the flow till I can’t do it any longer and then “something else” will happen. I always make it clear that there is no pressure on anybody to do anything, if they had to be/chose to be somewhere else that would be “something else” and I hope I’d be happy to accept it …

I feel the same.
My grandson who is twenty almost got ferried round here last Christmas, so I could "watch him open his presents".

I don't feel the need for all that, and it must put people out to have to do it.

As a child I remember various 'aunties' who joined our family Christmas dinners but back then the dinners could be for some 20+ diners!! We didn't think anything of it but your thread made me wonder if they too were the recipient of obligatory invites.
Fast forward to now - as long as I see family at some point over the season - I'm quite happy to stay home and binge watch the TV. Funnily enough my daughter mentioned that they hadn't firmed up plans for Christmas Day but they had lots going on in the run up to the big day - I suspect they may just have open house so that GGP's and GP's can visit during the day without dragging the kids out to dinner at one or other set of in-laws or grandparents.
I can remember having to plan Christmas according to which set of parents we had previously shared the day with. It can be a minefield and I can't be doing with the bad feeling so would quite happily take a backseat and have a second Christmas another time! Very often the GC's like the fact the the season and presents are stretched out over a few days. Life is too short!!.

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I agree. Also try soop's kitchen where you will be warmly welcomed.

I am unsure about chess but there are brighter people than me around.

Hello Sarakali and welcome to Gransnet. I don’t think you’ll get many replies on this Christmas thread - it’s a standing joke that the C word isn’t mentioned before October!
Try starting a new thread about chess or post on the Good Morning thread, opened daily by Mick which is a gentle introduction to Gransnet.

Hello Ladies! I’m new here, so please forgive my mistakes. I joined the ? forum as I’m recently widowed and wanted to meet a few people that have spent this holiday alone. I’ve enjoyed reading all your comments! ?
Ah! Also wanted to ask if Gransnet has an app and second question….
Do any of you know where I can get online lessons for Chess? Thanks. Have a wonderful weekend. ?

Callistemon21

I've just knit these:

How lovely, Callistemon21! Do I recognise a JG pattern there?
I’m about 3/4 of the way through yet another JG N-word set, for Gdcs’ school fair raffle. Also need to finish a wreath - main bit knitted but only a couple of the 5 mini snowmen to go on it, plus the bow. Plus all the snowmen’s hats and scarves, not to mention all the sewing up and stuffing…

Need to get a move on, since will be away/otherwise busy for much of September, and it’ll all need to be finished by the end of November latest.

I do not ever want to be that person, having the duty invite, kindly meant of course. I really don`t mind C by myself, trouble is that the `holiday` is so darned long and everyone thinks I would be lonely.

I think I am going to pre-empt everyone this year and will see about a family gathering at my house before C. Yes it could be a lot of work but I can make pizzas suitable for vegans, a bowl of salad, oven chips and a fruit salad. Previous gatherings have been the full works but too shattering. Simplicity is key

I would not have thought about C but I had to get my beautiful sewing advent calendar paid for and today I had an invite to get lakrid by bulow, not getting that one. It has taken me 6 months to get rid of last C effect

I've just knit these:

I have just found this emoji

Charleygirl5

For me it is too early to think about the C word. I will be on my own and for me, it is just another day.

The C word, I am glad to have advice about this subject as I may have inadvertently mentioned it before October.
Now I find myself thinking about it and worrying.So much to do and so little time.y

? ? ? (ducks-geddit?) behind sofa

annsixty

Which is when we remind others to put the sprouts on.
You should get advice from professionals which we are not.
Also sounds as if you are in America.

Sorry, annsixty, but if you haven't got your sprouts on by now you might be a bit late.

Another old thread from 2021 resurrected by a Spammer and deleted by GN.