What my 13 year old GS has requested for Christmas

You asked, you got the answer

You are out of touch, brand name perfumes are not cheap

Thanks for all your advice. Yes I must be out of touch but forgive me I am pretty ancient!

I would find that too expensive. I always spend the same amount of each Grandchild, but there are now eleven of them. Way out of my budget!!

Lots of good advice in here. If it’s in your budget, buy it. If not give what you can afford towards it. GC should be aware of the financial issues around at the moment.
One DGS asked for something similar a few years back. Because we live so far away, I sent the money and suggested he get it himself.
After Christmas, when I asked if he was enjoying the cologne, he said, “I didn’t buy it because it was too expensive and I didn’t want to spend that much!” Then he told me what he’d bought instead.
Evidently having someone spend that much on you is different from spending it yourself.

Be honest with him, give him a voucher (eg Boots) for the amount you want to spend. Just say that the one he wanted was a bit out of your price range but you hope that he will have some other Christmas money to add to your voucher so he can get what he wanted. And that you definitely want to have a smell of him if he manages to purchase it. Keep it light-hearted.

I don't see presents as extravagances, so long as they are in the budget of the giver. The whole point of a present is that it is something the recipient would think twice about buying themselves, and see as a luxury. The cost is, of course, important, as we can't spend more than we can afford, but assuming that your son had an idea of what you'd be spending, I think it's much more sensible to give your grandson what he wants rather than disappointing him and wasting your money on a more 'worthy' gift.

Next time, don’t ask and send him a £10 note 👍

I give something wrapped ,they all wanted something for their school disco so got early and the wrapped thing will be under the tree .They are 15 ,13 and 11 and they know exactly what they like ,not that I'm surprised as thats how I was and my mum used to tell of her Dad sitting up all night sewing her what she wanted for a dance

If you cannot afford it, or it is way above your normal price, just say that it is out of your price range.

In future ask him what he would like, with in a certain budget £30 for example.

We buy what is asked for if we can afford it.

Both my teenage DGDs asked for Perfume. I personally do not agree and asked my DD, she said it was their choice.
Luckily Black Friday and picking the size which fitted what I was prepared to pay. I would have spent more but I didn’t really agree. There must be a lot of advertising on the things they look at online is all I can say.
Offers are still online if you can manage to buy that way, with -30% off, have a look.

Of course if that’s what he would like and it’s within your budget How lovely that a 13 year old is not wanting to smell sweaty and mucky
If you buy him a box of Lego or some socks will he be happy or will you have wasted your money
I see nice enough undies but my grandson wants Calvin Klines and certain colognes what’s the point of asking if you want to buy something different
Sorry Gin but yes you’re a bit out of touch

Gin
You asked the question am I out of touch
IMO, sorry to say you are 😊

I vary, year to year.

It's my money, so I can do what I like with it, is my motto.

I don't set unneessary rules for myself.

Like many people here, I also give money or vouchers at Christmas - together with a small gift to open on Christmas Day. So if my nephew wanted this particular aftershave, he could buy it from the money I give him.

I wonder though how other people take inflation into account? Giving say £30 to a grandchild would have been a decent amount ten years ago but nowadays might not be so generous. I have given my niece and nephew £50 each for about five years but this year I’m giving them £75. They are 16 and 20 so pretty much grown up and I consider them more as my grandchildren as I’m a lot older than their mum, my sister, and I used to look after then in the school holidays.

Do other people increase money gifts or, like my grandparents, stick to the same amount year on year?

My own son would probably have said “How much do you want to spend on him?” and depending on what I replied, would have told me about the cologne, or then said give him some cash to put towards it.

It does seem a lot and extravagant I agree, but as others have said, no use giving him something he basically doesn’t want and will never use, just to prove a point.

If £45 is the amount you normally spend I would give it to him; you asked what he wants and if it is within the Christmas budget give it to him. You haven't been on a residential trip with a group of eleven year old boys when they 'dress for dinner'; the smell of Lynx and Brut is so strong you can taste it. Prada Ocean sounds better quality, therefore maybe more subtle?
Didn't you long for an expensive perfume when you were thirteen?

sodapop

My daughter did that Blossoming if the children wanted more expensive branded clothing etc she would give them the money for the basic item and they had to fund the rest themselves. They have grown up to be budget conscious and careful how they spend their money.

Same here when my three were teenagers and wanted designer trainers. I'd give them the cost of what to my mind was a reasonable pair and they'd add birthday or Christmas money from their grandparents to buy the pair they wanted.
Everyone was happy 😊

When my children or grandchildren ask for expensive items, I just give them some money towards it if it is beyond my budget. I think it has a greater chance of them seeing the value of money when the whole lot is spent on one thing but at the same time gives them what they want if they are that determined.

Blossoming

It’s a fragrance and he likes it. I wouldn’t thank anyone for buying me a cheap perfume because the ones I like are more expensive. If you can afford it then buy it. If you feel it’s too expensive then tell your son you can’t afford it but will give him some cash so he can put it towards buying it for himself.

sorry I have just repeated you!

If you can't afford to buy it, you could offer to give some money towards it?

My daughter did that Blossoming if the children wanted more expensive branded clothing etc she would give them the money for the basic item and they had to fund the rest themselves. They have grown up to be budget conscious and careful how they spend their money.

It’s a fragrance and he likes it. I wouldn’t thank anyone for buying me a cheap perfume because the ones I like are more expensive. If you can afford it then buy it. If you feel it’s too expensive then tell your son you can’t afford it but will give him some cash so he can put it towards buying it for himself.

*ask not as

You aren't going to change him by giving him something more worthy but don't buy it if it costs more than you want to spend.