Are we overthinking Christmas?

What has sometimes irked me on forums like this, is the odd person complaining about the vast amounts of food they see other people loading trolleys with, a couple of days before Christmas.

The ‘excess consumption’ complainers can’t possibly know why it may all be needed. In the past we’ve had 9 adults staying over, most for at least 4 nights, and I certainly didn’t intend to go food shopping again until at least the 28th.

A lot of careful planning needed, especially since I only have a small freezer.

I love everything about Christmas, whether it be quiet or noisy, last year I had 20 here for Christmas Day lunch, some stayed for nearly a week.

It was heartwarming to have my nearest and dearest all together under one roof, last time we were all together was my darling Mum’s last Christmas, so we reminisced, laughed and shed the occasional tear.

This year is much quieter, but I will still bake, shop and cook and enjoy whatever we do or don’t do.

To quote Rosie’smaw
“My point is just that it is at best a happy time with those we love, the magic in the little ones’ eyes and the warm feeling of giving to our nearest and dearest.”
That’s my Christmas ! Merry Xmas all !

I love Chriustma, I always have - as a family fetsival. I have my trusty spreadsheets and with online shopping it is a doddle

In 80 years of course there have been good bad and indifferent Christmases. Rich and poor Christmases , happy and sad Christmases, Hey! that's life!

I would enjoy Christmas just as much if I was alone.

We do it our way, you do it yours. Christmas angst is for others

If only it were just the one day - but if you have guests staying from before Christmas to NY, as is often the case, the catering is endless. Thinking of menus (Christmas Day is simple), buying and storing the food, cooking it all …. I love having guests but get totally knackered even though they pitch in.

I have family for a week every Christmas. The menus for the week are unchanged year on year. All I do is provide one main meal a day, usually cooked and frozen in advance. Then it is up to people to forage for themselves in a well stocked larder/ fridge for all other meals.

Overthinking Xmas? 100000%

Whilst there are many aspects of Christmas I do like, after all it's very deep rooted in our culture going back to the Winter Solstice of ancient times. Conversely there are also those I loathe, particularly the way it seems to get bigged up year on year. Reading an interview with Janet Ellis (mother of Sophie Ellis Bextor) saying how losing her husband three years ago left her so bereft, she let traditions slide, for example writing Christmas cards, the solitary one signature replacing the two , It's not difficult to empathise with that poignancy and the desire I imagine, to want to run for the hills well away from all the forced joility, Christmas I imagine highlights the devastating affect of bereavement.

Christmas is a time of nostalgia, for me a simpler time of my childhood when the central part was Midnight mass and carol services, not that I appreciated all of that then. I loved the presents, not that they were anything like all the piles of stuff kids get today and the Christmas food. I also loved the time when my own children were young before the brief childhood bubble burst and my older child told his younger sibling "There isn't a Father Christmas, it's mum and dad creeping into our bedrooms with presents, I've seen them" but that's inevitable, again a time ridden with nostalgia.

I like the Christmas lights,carols, candles, wreaths decorating the table, trying to recreate "Hygee" in the house, even going to town with the Christmas bed linen. I'm happy to see all our family over Christmas and Boxing Day and to sit round the table eating and drinking, but also tinged with fatigue just thinking about it, having recently got over Covid and feeling extra tired. .

I hate the fact that the beginnings of Christmas get earlier and earlier, August for crying out loud, personally I'm still enjoying outdoor life, it's two friggin' days in the middle of winter, I don't want to start thinking about Christmas till mid December at the very least. And the endless shopping, the bloody shopping! the queueing, the pressure some have to go into debt from all this nonsense, the impetus many of us feel to stock up as if laying in for a siege, quite honestly I find so much of it over the top coupled with expectations some people have of just how much should be spent and then they're out again for the sales but of course now those are pre Christmas as well. Just endless ka ching! ka ching! I know it oils the wheels of the economy but I think I would prefer the toned down celebrations they have in parts of Europe, just my thoughts, I don't expect everyone to agree with me.

Planning Christmas keeps me going through the long, dark days of December. I really enjoy the shopping and planning and making things for my family and I am grateful that they still want to come here for presents and dinner . However, with the passing of time, I know that things may well eventually change for the worst but for now overthinking Christmas is not for me.

To some people it is one day. Or two.
To others, people may stay into the New Year.

AreWeThereYet

I agree. So much unnecessary trouble and strife. We've always done a minimalist Christmas - we've stripped it down to what we enjoy and stay away from the rest. Over the years we've had bad times, sad times and good times and mostly it is out of our control so now we do as much or as little as we like and let the rest of the world get on with it.

💐💐 to those feeling lonely and sad this season

Lovely post. Spot on!

I echo your sentiments to the lonely and the bereaved. And to those who are 'under the weather' health wise.

When I was alone - apart from my my young son aged four - one Christmas - and impoverished, we had a simple Christmas dinner and, in the late afternoon, early evening, I lit candles and listened to the radio whilst my son played happily on the floor with the (few, but sufficient) toys he'd received.

It was the happiest and most peaceful Christmas ever!

We have dispensed with the present buying. My eldest aged 44 hasn't much money (I've got her a bag of groceries to help her) and my youngest aged 41 told me she gets stuck on what to get. So we agreed not to bother. Me and DH decide that we don't bother buying each other as if we need anything we get it when we want it. I have a list of cards I send and each year it gets a bit smaller. We just get some chocolates and snacks and that's about it. A small turkey crown for xmas dinner and a small pudding as my eldest is coming. Some cheeses as well. That's about it. We used to swap presents with his brother and sisters until a couple of years ago when presents suddenly stopped on my birthday so we decided that was that. It's saved us a lot of money when we have our own things to have to pay for.

Kitty Lester
As you say pudding for Christmas Day is virtually never eaten. It’s much better on Boxing Day and possibly the day after and nothing to prepare

The OP asked “Can we just go with the flow, relax and enjoy it?”
Yes, we can.

Christmas changes as we get older. Once we used to be in charge of all the family coming for dinner ,opening pressies etc and having a wonderful time but times change and we end up on the peripheral of the festivities as that's how it should be. The daughters or the sons take over and hopefully expect you to share xmas with them. That's how life is I expect in theory. But of course I'll health, bereavements, divorces, estrangement crop up and it all changes. I'm very lucky I know to have some of my family around and I wish each and everyone a peaceful and happy Christmas celebrating in the way you wish

Becoming a spectator rather than the lynchpin of Christmas is hard but definitely cheaper and easier. I do not want my children bartering about whose turn it is to have mother and requiring them to travel in bad weather so I have asked two widowed friends to join me for lunch on Christmas Day and will see the family at some point when they have sorted out their complicated arrangements. The upside is less provisioning, watching what I like on the television and eating unsuitable meals at odd times, so it’s definitely not all bad.

This year will be so different for me as I am moving on the 18th to my new flat.. so best Christmas gift to myself ever!!! My family and friends know for the past few weeks I've been focused on clearing a 3bed house, shed and greenhouse so Christmas has taken a back seat. No gifts for anyone, no cards sent either, I will give cash to GC and my children. They understand. No decorations or tree either. Am I bothered...heck no!!
Going to my daughter on the day and meeting rest of family on Christmas eve for brunch. I being selfish this year and focusing on a new life in 2024 in a smaller, warmer, more manageable home. Happy Christmas to everyone how ever you spend it.😊

It is bleak mid winter and the season has been celebratd with light and greenery for thousands of years. People need that bit of cheer, to celebrate the coming of spring. Blame commercialism and big business who have hyped the season, to ensure that people get sucked in and spend lots of money.

Brain washing has happened big time, so that many say s*d the credit cards, until the january reckoning. Christmas is a time for a break, people are tired and need an uplift and a change

Personally, I don`t get sucked in at all and I like that my three AC get some downtime to enjoy with their partners and children. None of them go overboard, they have family values and that is celebrated in our family, call it the old-fashioned way

We love Christmas and keep our family traditions. We will be seeing all our small family over the Christmas period which is something we haven't been able to do for a few years. It's been a year of hospitals and illness for the family one very sad death and the expected death of an older much loved sister in law. DH and DD1 came through serious illness and are both grateful to the NHS. So we are going to celebrate and enjoy not stress. That is if the chest infection which started 2 days ago is gone in time.

Travelsafar what a sensible way of coping with all the extra work that moving home involves. I hope you enjoy your Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with your family and that the move goes smoothly. Wishing you every happiness in your new home /new start in life. You deserve it.

I like it. I like giving all the kids and grandkids and great grandkids gifts. I don’t want any back because I have too much stuff and I’ve told them this though usually I get some home made bits of food and treats which is lovely. We catch up with most family members but not all on Christmas Day. My birthday,too, which is another excuse to get together.

We don't really do presents either, except for the youngest. The parents don't want them to have plastic "tat" and they all have what they need. I may just get a couple of things for them to unwrap but by the time we've eaten and sung songs and played games, the actual present giving sort of takes second place. The Germans actually have a special word for the present giving and unwrapping "ceremony": Bescherung.

We are not having anyone overnight and those that live closest are coming for lunch on the 25th. I shall be pushing the boat out for that but most of it can be prepared the day before, so if I get up in time, all should be fine. Anyway, son and DiL and sister in law can help if I get behind.

If you get stressed, it's only because you have set your sights too high. The rest of the family won't notice or care if not everything is done to the last detail.

Then there was Delia Smith standing in her kitchen with a non stop delivery of advice on how to produce your Christmas meal. I was exhausted just watching her although she allowed a brief rest and a glass of sherry at one point. However, I was amused to read she went on a cruise for her holiday leaving behind many flattened would be cooks.
Yes, it’s mad. It’s a family meal and as long as you don’t intend to serve 500 it’s straight forward. Just make sure you and your guests have a drink, play some Christmas music and everything will turn out to be a happy meal despite any shortcomings that may occur.

It’s not ‘mad’ or doesn’t have to be, but it does need some forward planning.Just when and where to buy the Xmas food needed so things are still fresh by Boxing Day for a start.How many guests and how many meals needed and how to store.
I have only a small fridge/freezer for example.Some of us are still working on this forum and do some child care as well and all this has to be factored in.
I guess if you have a big house and a huge freezer and are retired with all the time in the world then you can be more relaxed about it.
The Xmas threads are useful and interesting to read and sometimes very helpful so I think it a teensy bit Grinchy to complain about them.

Christmas for me (and many others of course) has changed since DH died so instead of dwelling on what used to be I embrace the new. I found it daunting at first but now it’s exciting.

I spend more on presents than I used to as I no longer have the expense of hosting - DD does all that. I just rock up and have fun! 🥳

They don’t let me get off scot free though as it has now become a new family tradition that Granny hosts New Year’s Day!