Are we overthinking Christmas?

Just a slightly bigger Sunday lunch ….with a few Xmas crackers for the kids …choice if two puds…..beer for the men ….wine for the women ….or vice versa🤷🏻‍♀️…..doesn’t even raise a sweat in my house . Take it or leave it…. whoever’s there with me seem to ‘take it’ …job done. No overthinking needed…

I am working all day on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and it’s so much less stressful re Christmas preparations! 😂

As a child, I remember happy Christmases at my aunt's. We all had a wonderful time although it must have been a very busy time for her. She always seemed relaxed though.
As an adult, married with children, I've always enjoyed Christmas and the festive season and doing lots/too much has been part of the fun. Once I had 16 people around the table for Christmas Dinner, having come out of hospital on 10 December! Everyone pitched in though.
Since the pandemic the pressure has been off numbers wise and this year I'm more concerned about my forthcoming THR at the beginning of January.
We'll still give and receive presents and enjoy a proper Christmas day with immediate family though. And our house is decorated- some might say over decorated! Oh and we have 3 December birthdays to deal with in the close family too. Those 3 deserve to have their birthdays celebrated as much as those of us who have birthdays at other times of year!

All the hype and build up makes me wonder what it’s all for. A few presents and a nice dinner. Some quite nice tv programmes. I sit there on Christmas Day after the dinner and think, well that’s what all the fuss was about starting in September. It just seems so OTT for one day that is usually mediocre anyway.

I love Christmas,but sadly it was very different last year and will be the same this year,my dh had to go into a nursing home last year due to a nasty fall at home,he broke his hip and he also has alziemers and vascular dementia and wasn't expected to live after the fall,this year my son and I will be having Xmas Dinner with him in the home,but dh won't know its Christmas,I have bought a couple of presents for my son (who is an adult) I will be giving my daughter son in law and granddaughter money as I won't be seeing them at Christmas because they live too far away and it's too expensive for them to come and visit.no matter how you do Christmas just enjoy it,as you never know what's waiting for you in the future.

Perhaps there is some overthinking by some, perhaps some become overwhelmed by what the feel they ought to be doing rather than doing what they want to do.

The pressure can be overwhelming if we allow it to be so.
The tv adverts and magazines don’t help by showing overladen tables, expensive “must have” gifts for everyone and their mother, perfect decorations, etc, etc, which can, if you allow it, make you feel inferior or failing if you don’t match up to this make believe “reality”.

It’s hard, I think, to step back from these false expectations, but really one has to try to preserve one’s sanity, and try to recall what Christmas is really about, not what commercialism would like us to believe it’s about. It’s not easy to step off that treadmill, though.

Christmas used to be a Christmas festival but now it has been out of hand and commercial. Many now over spend and get into debt taking the following year paying off debts.

Good post. I enjoyed it. Perhaps there is a bit too much overtelling about Christmas as well as overthinking.

If overthinking means running around like a hen without its head, then yes, a lot of people are overthinking Christmas.

I love Christmas, but years ago, I decided it was only fun if it didn't break the budget, and if the preparations were well within the limits of what I could actually do during December in the few hours left each day after a full-time job.

I have never understood why so many people run around tiring themselves out with preparations, but perhaps they like feeling put-upon, tired out by the time the Christmas dinner is actually on the table and worried that their presents aren't good enough.

The few people I give presents I try to give something I know they want or at least will like. If they don't, most things can be changed these days and I am not offended if anyone wants to change a present.

We have decided that when our youngest of seven grandchildren gets older and isn’t interested in Santa we are going to go away for Christmas but he’s only 5 years old so I have a few years yet, I can’t imagine Christmas without children I don’t think it will be the same as I’ve either had my children or grandchildren all my adult life, but I’m getting older and a bit more decrepit now so won’t mind the rest

Ps sorry about the mistakes

My hubby and did xmas for many years as the youngest couple out of his siblings partners etc and having the space to cook and serve andthe income to feed them all without a second and plenty of christmas spirit thought times have changed it become xxx we very rarely get and invite out during the year let alone xmas time no gifts anymore we are in the monority who decorate a tree we are still the entertainers with games and "token" and crackers and music numerous games etc but its tiring for us now with both our ill health but its sad to say if we didnt make an effort to see people it probably wouldnt happen most people cant be bothered they would prefer to go out to a restuarant or pub but if people dont take on these family get togethers and fun times where will it all end luckily when we do have people to entertain we are met with gratitude in abundance so if we feel the pinch i ask guests to contribute with food or drink but if i can afford to do i will the only stress i have is trying to pick a date that suits everyone then for each and any occasion i book a food delivery which has everything i need in one hit anywho done it too many times now to get stressed got enough stress elsewhere lol xx

I have always centred Christmas on Santa and children. Being of a certain age and nationality when Christmas day was not a holiday I think I have it imbedded in me that you can celebrate something without all the fuss and marketing hype grown over the years. A roast chicken dinner with trifle and cake was the way my family marked the Christian event. A pig in blanket hadn't been created.

I’m a bit of a Bah humbug- don’t mind if I’m on my own or have all my small family to lunch. I get a few pre lunch nibbles and a few buffet bits for evening but don’t go mad because no-one wants much. I don’t get stressed over the meal- it’s just a big Sunday dinner and if I want help I ask loudly. Family bring the wine and do the washing up. By 8pm they’ve all gone and I can enjoy the left over wine and nibbles in peace

MiniMoon

My husband watched Jamie Oliver last night (I was out babysitting) and wants me to do a stuffed pumpkin for the Christmas table.
I an disinclined to acquiesce to his request!

Mini Moon
🤣🤣🤣

pen50

I have a maximalist Christmas. Full works plus, all home cooked from scratch. However, I officially retire on New Year's Day - and that will mean a substantial income drop. So one of my tasks this Christmas - as I have both of them home, for once - is to have a managing expectations talk (Prosecco not Bollinger, etc) and suggest that one or other of them might take over at least every other 25 December 🙂.

"...have both of ^my children^ home...."
that is.

For me, Christmas is about a few special things:
1) Christmas tree with incandescent coloured fairy lights which glow (not LED).
2) traditional yummy meal (I have done Nigella’s basic Christmas dinner every single year since 2001 (from “How to Eat”) - it works for me even though i normally dislike cooking.
3) Playing games all afternoon and evening with family & friends
4) Leftovers to snack on
5) Christmas music (pop, also carols and some classical stuff too)
6) Admiring Xmas lights in the streets.
And that’s it! No presents (apart from for children). No cards. Maybe a party or two; maybe not. Lots of relaxation and enjoying not having a routine. Heaven!

I have a maximalist Christmas. Full works plus, all home cooked from scratch. However, I officially retire on New Year's Day - and that will mean a substantial income drop. So one of my tasks this Christmas - as I have both of them home, for once - is to have a managing expectations talk (Prosecco not Bollinger, etc) and suggest that one or other of them might take over at least every other 25 December 🙂.

When I hear people saying their Christmas is “ruined” because of some minor inconvenience

My DGD had a student job in Waitrose a few years ago and just as they were about to close on Christmas Eve a woman dashed in and asked for vegan and gluten free mince pies.
When DGD said they didn’t have any the woman shrieked, ‘Do you realise you’ve RUINED my Christmas?’

And then added, ‘But don’t take it personally!’ 😂

Minimoon- as he is the one who watched it, tell hubby to make his own pumpkin!😂

I love Christmas. I can’t understand why people get so wound up about the food, which is, after all just a roast dinner. I also don’t understand why parents find it so hard to say no to their children when they can’t afford the latest cool toy or gadget.

When I hear people saying their Christmas is “ruined” because of some minor inconvenience e.g. an item arriving later than expected, it makes my blood boil. I just think about the poor people in Ukraine or Gaza or wherever who have been deprived of their homes and/or much loved relatives- now that WOULD ruin someone’s Christmas!

One thing I never thought I’d do, and thought people who did must be mad, was to buy special Christmas bedding. But that was before I had very little Gdcs coming to stay, and sharing a double sofa bed.
The 🎅 set was actually remarkably cheap and has been used several times now, and will be again, twice, before Christmas. Three of them now share that bed but it won’t be too long before one will have to sleep elsewhere.

GrannySomerset

Becoming a spectator rather than the lynchpin of Christmas is hard but definitely cheaper and easier. I do not want my children bartering about whose turn it is to have mother and requiring them to travel in bad weather so I have asked two widowed friends to join me for lunch on Christmas Day and will see the family at some point when they have sorted out their complicated arrangements. The upside is less provisioning, watching what I like on the television and eating unsuitable meals at odd times, so it’s definitely not all bad.

Oh GrannySomerset I do like your stance on Christmas! Sharing and inclusivity. Gathering of friends around you. Releasing your busy family for The Day and coming together as and when it suits afterwards. Your evening sounds wonderful too! Relaxing, selfish (in a very good way) and comforting.

I’m not a huge fan of Christmas to be honest. I get on with it. There are several moments during the day itself that are filled with happiness, of course. But (for all of us at our age) there are moments of melancholy too. My dad’s birthday (he died at the very young age of 47y and I have so many fine memories) was on Christmas Day.

Christmas card writing is sad too. So many crossings out in my address book. I sit there, pen in hand, recollecting past times.

Then I look at the happy joyous faces of the children in the infant school nativity play yesterday and I’m filled with awe and wonder at how times move on and that, as ever, nice people are nice people. Traditions comfort us. Long may they continue. Often they are the glue that hold us together during this turbulent times.

Happy Christmas everyone. From me to you. x

Cabbie - waving to you. Our Christmas similar x

A different Christmas for me this year since DH died. I always waited to do the tree until after his birthday but this year I put it up early and am enjoying the lights in the evening. We haven’t ever been to anyone else for Christmas but used to have visitors though not in recent years so it was a simple day for just the two of us. This year I am invited to my son’s on Christmas Day and we will all go to my daughter on Boxing Day so I have something very different to look forward to. No stress. No work.