regifting - what is the etiquette

This is reminding me of my wonderful Mum. For about 20 years, along with other things , we'd give her the Stilton and Port gift set from Marks and Spencer.

One afternoon we were chatting about our favourite cheeses. Mum adored most, but she loathed one cheese. The smell, the look of it, she really went to town with her animosity towards Stilton.

We gazed at her incredulously. What was this? Did she not remember she got some every year and how effusive she was with her thanks?

I decided not to mention it and the conversation moved on.

But she never got Stilton and Port from us again. And I'm sure she was very relieved!

keepingquiet

Bluesmum

Every year I an given scented candles, hand creams, body lotions, bath sales, reed diffusers etc in all brands and scents which I never ever use, as anyone who has ever visited my house or knows me at all, knows that for donkeys years I have only ever used the same one brand! To me, this thoughtless waste of money, takes the edge off the gift and justifies me donating it to the local charity shop immediately in the New Year! I don’t think I could go as far as saving them to regift as presents the following Christmas though! Call me an ungrateful old bat, but I hate the waste of money!

I love to get all these things! You can send them to me...

I think you are an ungrateful old bat- why don't you just ask them to stop giving you stuff? Wouldn't that be more honest?

Say it like it is Keepingquiet

I regift, and don't worry if others regift items I give them. Often it's because I already have the items. I remember that when my grandmother was in her 80s, I encouraged her to start regifting items that were in her closets that never got opened. It was still given from the heart and helped her budget. No one minded even if they got something back that they had given her previously. I still use the tea towels she gave me and it's lovely to think of her when I use them.

Just re-gift them, what's the harm? Better than finding their way into landfill.

I remember gifting my husband’s grandmother a beautiful bath set for Christmas one year. I later found it in my mother- in- laws cupboard while I was looking for paracetamol. I was very hurt so be careful re-gifting.

Bluesmum

Every year I an given scented candles, hand creams, body lotions, bath sales, reed diffusers etc in all brands and scents which I never ever use, as anyone who has ever visited my house or knows me at all, knows that for donkeys years I have only ever used the same one brand! To me, this thoughtless waste of money, takes the edge off the gift and justifies me donating it to the local charity shop immediately in the New Year! I don’t think I could go as far as saving them to regift as presents the following Christmas though! Call me an ungrateful old bat, but I hate the waste of money!

I love to get all these things! You can send them to me...

I think you are an ungrateful old bat- why don't you just ask them to stop giving you stuff? Wouldn't that be more honest?

Regifting can be a good idea if you can give to a different social circle. I was once given a gift which was a Planner come Diary/address book with blank cards in a compartment at the back. On a day in June someone had written 'My Birthday - don't forget'. I got a call a few days later from the person who had sent the gift asking if I had looked inside. I said I had. She apologised and said it was something her friend had given her and she didnt realise the date had been filled in. Her friend had recently died!
I put the whole thing in the bin.

I have also been gifted jewellery sets PinkCosmos - as my ears aren't pierced. I have given them away too.
Not as a "gift" though.

MissAdventure

I can't stand the word 'regift'.
Has it always been a word?

Probably invented the same time as the requests on Facebook-

“Is anyone gifting a fridge/washing machine/double bed/flat screen tv…..?”

Why don’t they just say “Is anyone giving….”

Perhaps they think using the term ‘gifting’ makes it sound less like saying “Actually, I don’t want to buy one, but…”

I can't stand the word 'regift'.
Has it always been a word?

Every year I an given scented candles, hand creams, body lotions, bath sales, reed diffusers etc in all brands and scents which I never ever use, as anyone who has ever visited my house or knows me at all, knows that for donkeys years I have only ever used the same one brand! To me, this thoughtless waste of money, takes the edge off the gift and justifies me donating it to the local charity shop immediately in the New Year! I don’t think I could go as far as saving them to regift as presents the following Christmas though! Call me an ungrateful old bat, but I hate the waste of money!

If they are not your thing regift and then treat yourself with saved money

I would regift , but only if you’re certain the original giver wouldn’t know . Or I’d take to the charity shop or give it as a raffle prize .
When my mother downsized i did most of the clearing out and I found a large box full of unwanted presents . They had notes with the givers name , the date and the occasion. I was quite saddened by this as some of the gifts were from my dc , bought with their pocket money . I just closed up the box and it’s now in a cupboard in her flat and I’ve never mentioned it to her.

Desdemona

I am curious to know what the products are - things like unopened perfume kept in a box somewhere dark last ages - not sure about skincare?

Hi Desdemona quite expensive skin care unopened but I can't check the date as the boxes are sealed. I'll try to descretely open.

OldFrill

It is entirely up to the recipient what they do with something I've gifted to them. I would not mind in the least if they regifted it. I'd much rather it was regifted, sold, donated than sat in a cupboard. We can't always get gifts right and because a gift is passed on doesn't mean it wasn't appreciated.

My thoughts exactly~~~

Going off on a tangent - I don't know anyone who actually buys a gift bag. They just go round and round for ever. At a friend's birthday party she received a present in a bag that 4 of us recognised

janeainsworth

I once bought tickets for a raffle in a pub when I was visiting my godfather.
A few weeks later, I got a phone call from someone saying I’d won a tin of biscuits. I explained that I lived many miles away, and please could my godfather, who was well-known locally, have them instead.
I rang my godfather to tell him to expect the biscuits & he snorted down the phone.
‘I don’t want them. I won them in a raffle last year!’ 😂

😂

I've won a few things in raffles which have obviously been around the block a few times

I once bought tickets for a raffle in a pub when I was visiting my godfather.
A few weeks later, I got a phone call from someone saying I’d won a tin of biscuits. I explained that I lived many miles away, and please could my godfather, who was well-known locally, have them instead.
I rang my godfather to tell him to expect the biscuits & he snorted down the phone.
‘I don’t want them. I won them in a raffle last year!’ 😂

Calendargirl

Louella12

I couldn't re-gift. I'd feel awful!

If someone has chosen something for me then I keep it.

And do what with it though? So often here on GN we read about when a poster is sorting out deceased parents house, a drawer or cupboard is opened and there sits past Christmas and birthday gifts, untouched and unused?

Now that does no one any good, the gifter, the receiver, or anyone else who might have benefitted from the unused item.

Absolutely never save for a rainy day, which might never come, use it and enjoy it or regift it and make someone else very happy. However, be careful if they are very expensive gifts that they are the value you would normally spend on the receiver or they will feel awful and feel they will need to match that next year, when you may not want to. Food for thoughts. Absolutely no harm in regifting, everyone does it all the time, we win things in a raffle that probably have done the rounds several times. We are fitted something by a friend that might have done the same, what does it matter as long as you end up with what you like, need and want. Win all around.

I sometimes regift and see no problem with it, especially as the alternative woud be giving to a raffle and risking the person who gave it seeing me handing it over as they support the same organisation, or it sitting unused in a drawer. Some things are lovely gifts but just things I don't need or use.

My mother gifted me a cafetiere years ago when they were the latest thing.

I showed it to my SIL and she said that she had bought it for her mum for her birthday a few moths earlier as it was what she said she had wanted. I think my SIL was a bit put out to be honest. I hadn't a clue that my (quite recent) MIL was a serial re-gifter at that point.

I have been gifted necklace and earring sets. The earrings are always for pierced ears. I have never had pierced ears. I usually pass them on to someone I know who has pierced ears - not as a Christmas or birthday gift though.

I received a beautiful advent beauty calendar Boots No 7 one Christmas but it had some gifts and some Boots vouchers inside which were all out of date. Obviously a discounted product due to being out of date! I was thinking the giver a close relative had thought it a bargain

You did have to be a bit careful with dates though even if they are sealed. A friend once gave me a very expensive lipstick, exactly the shade and brand I liked but when I opened it (sealed) it was rancid! Most awful smell ever.
I returned it to a local department store and they said that particular packaging was at least 5 years old!!
I never did mention it though because she would have been mortified.

I have given a friend a gift I had for my birthday. It’s a large scented candle (posh make) with 3 wicks. I can’t use it because my husband seems to get headaches when candles are lit. I hope she likes it though.

keepingquiet

So re-gifting means you get a gift, then give to someone else as a gift?

I have a feeling my SIL does this, as some of the gifts I've had just gave me that impression- they weren't really bought for me but seemed a bit 'token.'

It seems people must know me really well because I tend to like all my gifts.

If not I would give them away, but what if they came back again, like in a sort of nightmare story where you could never get rid of the gift you felt no gratitude for? I think there's the makng of a story there...

"The Gift" keeps coming back and each time it does, it leaves a curse upon the receiver - until some heroic character works out how to prevent all the misery and bestow a blessing instead.

Give it to the charity shop!