Christmas Presents You Don't Want

If you've agreed, I would say that when they bring gifts , you say I'm sorry but as a group we agreed no more presents and so I haven't.

Another year when I've ended up with a pile of unwanted gifts and judging by the tired packaging on them -I think that they were recycled . They will end up at a charity shop or in a church raffle .
On Christmas Day I had a panic trying to find three extra gifts for some unexpected visitors .
Yesterday I dashed out to replace them as I'll see the recipients later .
Every year ,I vow never again .
I did keep to my budget and spent less than I normally do on gifts .
I made one of them .
As the year progresses I'll try to make as many as I can and put them in a large box labelled GIFTS !

Put all your unwanteds into an Amazon box and seal the box. Leave it on your doorstep and someone will nick it. Problem sorted 🤣

I’m with V3ra eazybee.

If it’s been agreed ‘no presents’, and someone still buys them, well, that’s up to them, but don’t rush out and ‘buy back’.

I suspect she will change how she does things next time.

eazybee if you've already agreed you won't exchange presents, why let someone manipulate you into feeling you have to do just that?
They'll soon get fed up of you not responding to their behaviour.

I agreed with a group of friends earlier this year to not do presents at Xmas, this has worked, and is very liberating, was worried one person might break the rule but it went very well.
We should stop buying things for people just for the sake of it, is silly. Just make a deal to go for a nice lunch or coffee and
cake with friends before xmas.

There are some people who persist in giving presents even though it has been mutually ( as we thought) agreed that we would no longer do this as all of us in our seventies felt we had all the toiletries, plants, candles et al that we needed, and would just exchange birthday gifts.
Last year the excuse was that she had already bought the presents (early November); this year she just did it and dropped the presents off 3 days before Christmas, which led to panic buying. One of these very quietly determined people with a will of iron who always has her own way.
In the scheme of things, not that terrible, but simply annoying and wasteful.

It’s the not knowing that contributes to the fun

hollysteers

It’s really only basic good manners to accept all gifts graciously.

I loved opening all my gifts yesterday. OK, the odd gift (yes a candle) will be added to my burgeoning stock (good idea nanna8) and I’d hate every gift to be pre-ordered and no surprises.

Lists do not necessarily mean you know what you will receive. Both DH and I received some very nice present, spot on, that had not been listed, plus a couple of list items, we never know in advance what is likely to be in each parcel

hollysteers

It’s really only basic good manners to accept all gifts graciously.

I loved opening all my gifts yesterday. OK, the odd gift (yes a candle) will be added to my burgeoning stock (good idea nanna8) and I’d hate every gift to be pre-ordered and no surprises.

It’s so good to see some Christmas cheer. God Bless us everyone. A lot to be learned from A Christmas Carol

I have a wish list on "Giftster" and add to it online. Things I might not buy for myself but like the idea of... last month it had the "Pasta Grannies" cookbook put on it, as well as a brooch I liked made by someone local and for about 6 or 8 months it's had a nice face cream on that was maybe a fiver more than I'd usually buy. Some things on it (eg a piece of artwork that's really out of budget) have been on a couple of years but the out of print weaving book that's been on the list for years was a terrific surprise last year!

My children and husband look at it now and again!
And I look at theirs.

Why "throw out a list" that you are not obliged to even look at?
Surely we have all asked people "is there something your daughter/wife/husband might fancy?

You can still buy them a candle if you want!

Who knew that my daughter-in-law loved a particular body product but didn't treat herself if nobody was told?

hollysteers

It’s really only basic good manners to accept all gifts graciously.

I loved opening all my gifts yesterday. OK, the odd gift (yes a candle) will be added to my burgeoning stock (good idea nanna8) and I’d hate every gift to be pre-ordered and no surprises.

Yes, I totally agree with you. I was brought up to accept gifts graciously too. And sorry, but if anyone presented me with a 'wish list', it'd be going straight into the bin!

It’s really only basic good manners to accept all gifts graciously.

I loved opening all my gifts yesterday. OK, the odd gift (yes a candle) will be added to my burgeoning stock (good idea nanna8) and I’d hate every gift to be pre-ordered and no surprises.

What if the giver will be checking that you actually use or eat her gift?

Here is a link to Martin Lewis video mentioned up the thread.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIXFSnNe_wQ

theworriedwell

It's a bit of a trap isn't it. You will see lots of threads about being grateful for gifts even if you don't like them and I am always very thankful, tell people it is lovely etc. There comes a point where you feel like OP and the thought of another smelly candle is just too much but how do you say I know I've been telling you for 20 years that I love the smelly candles but actually I can't stand them so please stop. I know that's a bit of an exaggeration but I think you know what I mean.

For me it is the flowers, I really don't like cut flowers, having a big bunch delivered is expensive and I hate that someone has spent that money and then I just feel sad as they wilt and die and then I clear them up. How do I tell them without upsetting them? It is hard and I sympathise with OP.

Sorry OP i am definitely with you but no idea how to deal with it.

This is a bit like my curry story.
Say you no longer... or you have decided that in future ...

That is easy.
I no longer get the same delight from cut flowers - upu can add "they die so quickly it seems, and it makes me sad" if you want to be more definite!

I used to love fragrances candles but my sense of smell must have changed over the years...

Oh I forgot the nice new mug and coaster. 😬

Lathyrus3

Well I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee, my new slippers on my feet, a nice box of Sanctuary Spa in the bathroom, the book and chocolates at the ready.

I must be so dull🤔

I’m another dullard Lathryus, I’ve just finished the house clear from yesterday. I was given two calendars of dogs doing the thing in beautiful places. Both from men aged 40 plus and lovely members of my family - they were really entertained…. I got scented candles which I don’t use for fear they’ll negatively affect my dogs. So off to the charity they go But - they were given with love and we all enjoyed a chaotic happy day together yesterday.
I’m off to walk the 2nd dog then it’s a cuppa in one of my new mugs, chocs and a read of my new book, another well chosen gift.
It’s the thought isn’t it - even when it’s not quite hitting the spot

Not everyone is easy to buy for though. My mum doesn't like sweet things, doesn't have a bath, has plenty of clothes, hardly ever wears make-up, gets perfume for her birthday in October, doesn't like hampers, as she lives alone and they always have jam in them (😵‍💫), and that's just off the top of my head. Oh yes, she has a cat, so no candles, diffusers, jigsaws or anything that might get spilt or knocked over.

Also, I am expected to come up with ideas for my children to buy her as well as for myself, so it's incredibly limiting when I've knocked those ideas off my 'possible' list. She makes it very clear when she's disappointed, too (ie every Christmas and birthday), and regifts pretty much everything.

I'm not one for 'you should be grateful for anything and everything', but there's a limit to what people can buy if the recipients are so difficult.

Well I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee, my new slippers on my feet, a nice box of Sanctuary Spa in the bathroom, the book and chocolates at the ready.

I must be so dull🤔

We all decided years ago NO presents. It makes Christmas easy but a bit dull.

I think we have to be diplomatic and just bite the bullet. Smile, but not a rictus grin, and thank as warmly as you feel you can manage. It's just once a year and charity shops benefit enormously - which is where you should nip off to as soon as your benefactor has driven off down the road.

Marmin

A brussels sprout bath fizzer anyone?

Eh? Bizarre alright.

I like to see people that’s the best present I can get I don’t eat chocolate or biscuits I say it every year. I still get them I do gift them to neighbours and the local food banks.
It does seem an awful waste of money though and it does irritate me. I don’t want to sound like the Grinch but why buy me stuff I clearly say I don’t want.

As I have said before we only give presents to immediate family and everyone files wish lists in October.

Every thing I unwrapped yesterday was from my list or something someone saw and knew I would like because they know me so well.