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Twas the month after Christmas…

(34 Posts)
RosiesMawagain Tue 06-Jan-26 17:04:00

I'm sure plenty can relate to this at the moment!! Not just me.... 🙈😂

Was the month after Christmas and all through the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The stuffing I'd nibbled, the turkey I'd taste, the yummies I'd eaten gone straight to my waist. The wine and the mince pies, the bread and the cheese..... I should have just said, "no thank you, please." ... So as I dressed myself in my husbands old shirt, I couldn't believe my bottom and belly - the gi......rth! I said to myself, as only I can, "you can't spend the year disguised as a man!" So away with the last of the sour-cream dip, get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip. Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'til all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie, not even a lick, instead I'll chew on a long celery stick. I won't have Irish coffees, or chocolates, or pie..... I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry: "I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore - but isn't that what January's for?" Unable to giggle, no longer a riot, Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

For those who are affected by this poem, you can ring the special diet helpline on the following number: 808080028 (Ate Nothing, Ate Nothing, Ate Nothing, Nothing to Ate)

mamaa Wed 07-Jan-26 22:35:02

Great poem- very apt re me at the moment! Normally I’d knuckle down- stop eating the treats and move more.
Problem is this cold weather somehow makes me feel hungrier than usual and I’m not getting my walks in.🤨
Another issue is that this weekend I need to try on my summer stuff as we’re off to the Canaries the following weekend for a winter sunshine break! Not much cutting down going on for the time away I fear, but keep telling myself it’ll be the Med diet so I’ll be eating healthily😉🤣! Olé!

pamdixon Wed 07-Jan-26 20:22:11

808080028 too good not so share! (loved the poem too).
Have been trying valliantly to work (with OH) our way through all the boxes of chocolates we ended up with - nearly there but then I realised he'd ordered 3 boxes of Bendicks Bittermints (why?) just before Christmas. They have just put in an appearance.....oh dear. Post Christmas diet is doomed before its even started.................... I can never resist bittermints at the best of times.

RosiesMawagain Wed 07-Jan-26 19:28:55

Not my original work I’m afraid- but the sentiments are close (too close!) to home.

Diplomat Wed 07-Jan-26 19:10:43

Love the adaptation of a well loved poem, very clever. Husband's constant coughing has brought on a migraine, so no wine at the moment! ( Don't recommend this method!) Have just had a nice healthy salmon with spinach, so no chocolates or cake yet......!

BlueSapphire Wed 07-Jan-26 18:01:33

Finished the cake, just opened the chocolate biscuits!

Nicolenet Wed 07-Jan-26 17:33:43

Makes me feel better to read your lovely post. I'm not the only one! It's a struggle but we'll get slimmer for spring x

hazel93 Wed 07-Jan-26 16:08:07

Superb Rosie ! Thanks for the giggles.
This dreaded cold virus hit us on the 26th. and has been bloody awful. On the plus side as everything tasted like cardboard we have not indulged , soup being our main meal each day.
Now have a pantry and freezer abounding with goodies so the pounds will pile on at some point !

GrammaH Wed 07-Jan-26 15:48:31

That's brilliant, so clever and certainly describes me! I'd ordered a new dress which came today. It looks great from the front but the side view is horrifying, it's a fat person I don't recognise! Definitely need to cut down on all the treats, I don't want to live with a stranger.....

Foxyferret Wed 07-Jan-26 15:44:15

Resolutions should start on 1st February as we all have goodies left over in January.

knspol Wed 07-Jan-26 14:54:06

Just read this while eating a huge slice of Christmas cake and drinking a milky coffee. Oh dear, never mind!

leeds22 Wed 07-Jan-26 14:21:38

Still got the Christmas cake to eat up - can't let DH have it all.

AuntieE Wed 07-Jan-26 14:02:45

Allow me to recommend shovelling snow off your pavement thrice daily, as an aid to losing weight.

TillyTrotter Wed 07-Jan-26 08:00:17

Your poem is so funny Maw and will be my Mantra for January 😊
I’ll be scrambling for celery and carrots and rushing past the biscuit and cake aisles.

Aveline Wed 07-Jan-26 07:41:22

Excellent. I'll definitely stick to a diet but, unfortunately, a packet of Florentines fell into my basket at Marks yesterday. It would be wasteful not to eat them...

kittylester Wed 07-Jan-26 02:00:56

Fabulous, Maw wine

Wyllow3 Tue 06-Jan-26 23:59:25

☺️

Romola Tue 06-Jan-26 23:30:16

Just adding my voice to the chorus of laughter. Thank you Rosie, lucky us on GNet to have you.

foxie48 Tue 06-Jan-26 21:09:34

Love it! thanks for posting!

Bukkie Tue 06-Jan-26 20:34:37

Brilliant!

Aely Tue 06-Jan-26 20:30:23

Cracking a smile and having a giggle. Excellent!

Cossy Tue 06-Jan-26 19:29:26

Very funny and awfully clever and me!

Millie22 Tue 06-Jan-26 19:17:27

I bought some cream cakes today and I'm not bothered.

We need treats in January! 🍰

pably15 Tue 06-Jan-26 19:15:41

oh That's brilliant, we all have good intentions, we just can't see those nibbles go to waste...or go to WAIST...

SueDonim Tue 06-Jan-26 19:11:20

You’ve caught me with a packet of Hula Hoops in one hand and a can of Irn Bru (FF!) in the other, RosiesMaw. blush blush

Scribbles Tue 06-Jan-26 17:59:50

🤣🤣🤣