Win a Ted Baker handbag and a copy of Bad Nana!

A few years ago my hubby and I took our two grandchildren to Lego land. Our grandson was only three at the time and we payed for him to go on the little cars which went around a small track. I put him in a car and showed him which pedal he had to use. One to go the other to stop. He wasn't prepared to wait for the other children to start and there I was going around the track trying to hold him back.

My DD was called in to the class to hear about my DGD, aged 4,latest antics.
The class teacher had the children sat on the floor for story time before they all went home. As she read the story she stopped to ask questions.
DGD under her breath but loud enough for teacher to hear "for gods sake can't you just get on with the story"

My funniest memory of my grandson was when he was, literally, the 'star' at the school nativity play. He was centre stage and dressed in the largest star costume and sang the first verse of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star solo before the other (reception class) children were supposed to join in with the other four verses. They didn't; so he tried hard to make up for all the missing voices by continuing to sing in an ever louder voice whilst trying to chivvy up the others using eye and hand gestures - becoming obviously more and more exasperated. The sight of him continuing to sing whilst conducting pantomime gestures trying to get the rest of the class to join in was hilarious and most of the audience were crying with laughter by the time he finally - and very loudly - got to the end of the song. He got a well deserved standing ovation from staff and parents.

My Granddaughter and I shared a hotel bedroom at New Year. I was woken at about 3am by her snoring.

In the morning I told her that for an eleven year old she had a very loud snore.

"Oh really Grandma, then listen to this !"

She then proceeded to switch her phone on and play a tape of me snoring like a pig.

Oops !

As I was on holiday with my two granddaughters and grandson, all young teenagers, I took them on a late night walk. We set off at about 10pm intending to see the moonlight over the beautiful bay about half a mile from our apartment. The shortcut took us through the 'cow field' so we checked the cows were well away from us at the far corner of the field. We got half way across the field when, literally a few yards away, a sitting down cow slowly got up and faced us. We screamed, grabbed each other with me calling for calm but all four of us instinctively ran for our lives heading for the far gate. We giggled hysterically as we went but one of my granddaughters was trying to get us to hear that she'd lost one of her flip flops. We got to the gate, calmed ourselves down but decided none of us was going to be foolish enough to try to retrieve the flip flop. What a sight we must have been, one hopping along but all four laughing uncontrollably as we made our way back to the apartment using the long route. Thoughts of the moonlit bay gone from our thoughts. A final note which is absolutely true...we returned at daylight looking for the flip flop. To no avail. We walked the same field three times over the course of the next nine months. Almost one year later, I was walking across the field with a friend and there, practically on the spot where the incident had occurred was the flip flop. A little faded and jaded looking but it was ours, without a doubt.

A couple of years ago we joined my son and his family for a holiday in a Norwegian Lodge in Cornwall. It was beautiful and the sun shone all week. We decided to eat outside and I had put meat under the grill, wine was being passed round (which I was drinking and forgot the meat grilling, suddenly the fire alarms went off with smoke pouring from the kitchen. My son managed to put out the fire with the fire blanket and eventually the alarms went off. (The grandchildren were convinced the fire engines were on their way).
Luckily only smoke damage which we managed to clean up
The holiday is now know as the one where Nan nearly burnt down the Lodge. Not the childhood memories I was hoping for!

Elder grand-daughter in the car with her younger sister, Issey, her mummy and me then out of the blue said:
'Granny, you'll be dead by the time Issey grows up, won't you?'

I am 58, I have recently decided to stop dying my hair, so I used a colour stripper which has made it lighter, my natural colour is quite dark brown and I have dyed it this colour for years. The stripper has left it more of a copper brown and I have about 2 inches of grey roots now. My 11 year old granddaughter told my daughter she didn't know I had been dying my hair black and said to her "did you know Grandma dyes her hair?"

Whilst watching my dgs at the weekend I took delivery of a hand held dyson. Dgs helped me u wrap the parcel and after explaining it was a new vacuum i put it away. Later when mum arrived to pick him up he looked at her seriously and said grandma got a new machine gun!!! Just shows how he sees me.

My grandson pointing at a tank in sealife centre and shouting look that one has testicles... he meant tentacles!

Like this one! My grandaughter has a new sibling on the way!

My neighbour asked my daughter what her teacher name was and she kept on saying her own name

My grandson aged 3 asking me what I would like from Santa and when I said I wasn't sure he asked - would you like a bra? would you take a pink one? Lol!
But then this is the same child who asked Santa for "a pack of batteries and blu Tac"for Christmas

I took my eight year old grandson swimming and we shared a family changing room which he was not too pleased about, but I said we will turn our backs on each other while we get dry. Anyway he turned round, pinched my "love handles" and said " what is this" I replied "fat!" and he said " why is there so much of it". Started my diet the next day!

Lucy was watching me do the ironing and asked why I didn't iron the wrinkles on my face

Granny Sue (my late Mum) was just the best Granny EVER. I asked my children what her best qualities were recently. My eldest son can't respond (he has profound complex and medical special needs) but he used to light up when he saw her face (which pretty much says it all). My middle son said that Granny always listened to his problems and had a solution for everything - even if that was just a BIG HUG and we all know that she gave great hugs. My youngest daughter loved making and creating, baking and singing with my Mum. She told me that Granny Sue was bonkers, but good bonkers and she didn't care what anyone thought of her. My Mum was uber confident in her skin (something I believe comes with age and experience). These are all fantastic qualities and I only hope that when I'm a Granny I will have similar accolades!

Love ❤️ it

taking my grandson to the beach for the first time it was magical

My grandaughter brings me so much joy. When she was little she loved going to the park with her wellington boots on and splashing in the puddles. She loved it when I joined in, laughing and giggling.

My two and a half year old grandson, Jack, proved clever enough to do two jigsaws from the same box, all pieces mixed together. I needed to separate the pieces into two piles and look at the jigsaw pictures on the box.
He had rattled the first jigsaw off so quickly and was almost finished the second one, when he realised that, while sitting on the floor to complete the jigsaws, he had accidentally edged towards the completed one, which had started to fall apart. My son had to stop videoing this amazing feat, when Jack, upon realising the first jigsaw was no longer whole, proclaimed, “Oh, damn and blast!”

It is impossible not to smirk, when such a proclamation leaves the mouth of one so young!

My grandson put some worms in my bag to protect them from the birds eating them but forgot to give me a heads up. I didn't discover the lifeless worms until I went shopping and I reached into my coin pocket and found a few

I was taking my grandson to his friends birthday party, i had taken him to this particular friends before. I had messaged the parent to say we were on our way, she said just let yourself in. We pulled up outside and i opened the front door to the house. I was dying for a wee so i went straight into the toilet which was by the front door, i sent Jake into the house to join the party. I then heard a voice saying "Love there is somebody in our toilet" I opened the door to see Jake looking very embarrassed and an elderly couple stood next to him right outside the toilet door. I had gone into the wrong house, the party was next door. I said my apologies and we quickly left the house. Jake couldn't wait to tell all his friends at the party that his nana had gone into the wrong house and used the toilet. They all thought i was a gangsta granny.

On Recent trip to Disneyland Paris with my 2 Grandchildren I had the misfortune of taking them on a rollercoaster which I really dislike. After getting off with shaky legs and churning stomach my 7 yr old granddaughter said to me are you ok Nanny, you look a funny colour ? Not really I said I don’t like those sort of rides. Oh Nanny ! You are a big baby said my 5 year old Grandson, if you had of told me I would have held your hand !!

When my grandaughter was 4, she and her friend could only climb to the 2nd rung of the playground climbing frame.

Together they worked out that when they were 21 they would be able to reach the top.

'But', they chirped, ' by then you will be deaded gran'.

To make matters worse, they both fell about laughing.

Oh dear!

My son brought me an empty yoghurt pot. He said that he had first given some to the cat, the dog then had a taste and he had finally given it to grandma to finish off!