Win a Ted Baker handbag and a copy of Bad Nana!

Staying with my daughter and family, I slept with the 2 year old. (She was in a cot).
At 6.30 a.m all was quiet, until I moved in bed! (bad idea). Toddler in loud whisper "Grandma can we go down for brekfut?" Half asleep reply "I shall have to go to the toilet first" Toddler "You have to wait your turn"

I picked my grandsons from school two days a week. I always bring a snack in my pocket or in a little bag. Every time they see me they will shout I'm hungry. But it happens anywhere, anytime now when they see me. It's like my name is 'I'm hungry '. They don't say it with their mum!

My young grandson had fallen and cut his knee and was proudly displaying a "Winnie the Pooh" plaster. Later that day we were sitting with a sticker book and he was happily sticking away. He turned to me and started placing them on my face. On asking him why he was doing this he replied, "I'm just putting plasters on your scratches, Nanny". Personally, I prefer the term "laughter lines"...…….

I told my granddaughter that shes going to turn into a chicken and she will have feathers etc then i said "Oh I can see one growing behind your ear" then our dog started sniffing her! So i said "Oh she can smell you" she likes chicken ? she was laughing her head off lol

Three year old grandson was helping me wash my open topped car, which had the tonneau cover on. He decided to wriggle in and hide under the cover - I thought nothing of it as the keys were in my pocket - but somehow he knocked the hand brake off and the car started to roll. Because the cover was on I couldn't get at the handbrake to pull it on again - luckily I'd left the wheels at an angle to get at the wheel arches and it rolled against the kerb and stopped. Scary moment though!

I was making my four year old granddaughter a chocolate spread sandwich when she announced that the chocolate spread looks just like poo!!

Our two small grandchildren often like to look through the old photo albums, on a rainy day it passes an hour for them.
They comment on the clothes, cars etc .
One day, when we had looked at lots of photos,our grandson asked about ‘the war’ and where was a picture of grandad as a ‘soldier’? I explained to him, that although gramps was old, he wasn’t old enough, and small grandson nodded wisely and said ‘yes,my daddy is old enough and was a soldier with a gun!’
This floored us as our son has always worked in an office.
The imagination of a five year old knows no bounds.

As we were taking a shortcut through the local Cemetary, Lisa age 4, was admiring all the lovely flowers displayed on the graves. "Nanny" she said "This is a lovely Garden Centre isn't it!"

We took the grandchildren on holiday to Camber Sands last summer, what a beautiful part of our island we had a ball, going to the beach and burying each other with sand, playing with buckets and spades and making wonderful creations, dancing through the sand dunes on the way home....it lifted my heart and spirits to have such memories....

My young grandson needed a haircut, and wanted me (or grandad) to cut it for him. I told him that I wasn't trained, and that you had to have a lot of training to become a hairdresser. 'So who trained the very first hairdresser?' he asked. Very good question! (I still don't know the answer)

I was trying out my daughter in laws new electric wonder curly thingy , and actually was quite pleased with result .When I asked my 6 year old granddaughter what she thought , hoping for a compliment ! She said "Its ok, you remind me of the lady wizard , in Harry Potter "She was of course referring to the wonderful Miriam Margelese ?! And I have to say she wasn't far wrong either .

One day, I went with 2 Grand children, to an indoor park, my GS asked me to take him to the top of a slide (with tunnels on) , he said sit down on top of slide, and thought he was going to sit on my lap, but it was so slippery, i went before he could sit on my lap, then once at bottom of slide, all i could hear coming from the top of the slide through tunnels was NANA , bless him he was only 3, so had to go and retrieve him through fits of laughter.

My little grandson said, ''If that's your 'hand bag' Grandma, do you have another one to keep your feet in!''
Bless him!

Some years ago my late husband and I had been on holiday in the Lake District with my son and his family and during the course of the week my husband bought an expensive walking jacket. He was very pleased and proud and wore it all week, often asking if we thought it was good.
Very sadly he died suddenly the following week and some weeks later when looking at holiday photos in which he was wearing it, my six year old grandson said very matter of factly "Didn't get much wear out of it did he?" It gave us a welcome laugh despite the tears!

Taking my DGS aged 3 out on my own I found I needed to go to the loo we went in together.While in the cubicle I found that I also needed to change my sanitary towel. DGS was horrified!” look Grandma” he declared in a loud voice “you have hurt yourself” I quietly whispered that grown up ladies have a little bit of blood once a month but it’s nothing to worry about. He then proceeded to grill me on whether this was going to happen to him or his two small girl cousins all in a loud and carrying voice as well as why the blood came? a biology lesson for a 3 year old in a public loo would not have been my ideal venue and when we came out of the cubicle there was a small audience of amused ladies!

My granddaughter loves me to tell her made up stories. She never seems to realise that I just use our real life family experiences and adapt them to get a learning 'moral' across. This book sounds great as I am definitely the 'bad nana'. I'm willing to try most things and have very opinionated views on everything.

My grandchildren told me that they had chosen a special treat for me, and their parents had booked for it. The day arrived, very cold and trying to snow, and we set off for our mystery destination. It turned out to be Diggerland! I wasn't impressed!
It was such a cold day that there were hardly any visitors. "Come on, Grandma," and off we went. In spite of my trepidation I had a wonderful time. Muffled up to the eyeballs I shovelled dirt, drove dump-trucks and was whirled around in the huge bucket of a giant digger. Not my idea of a Granny's day out, but Boy, did we have fun!

when he was 5, my grandson was talking about how old was and other people. l asked him how old did he think l was . . . . .his answer . . . 'nearly a hundred, nanny' . . . . aaaahhhh out of the mouth of babes and sucklings!!!!!

My lovely eldest grandson, who has slight learning difficulties, was spending the day with me when he was about 6 years old...he found my bathroom scales and having established what they were used for, he asked whether he could weigh himself. I called yes up the stairs...seconds later an excited shriek could be heard " Grandma, grandma...I weigh 60p" I still smile when I think of it ...he's now a strapping thirteen year old, eats like a horse and weighs, I am sure, much more than 60p!

My granddaughter is at university now but when she about three years old she came in from the garden munching on mushrooms. Examining the remaining fungi in the lawn I suspected that they were magic mushrooms! I didn't know how quickly the drug might take effect but we rushed her to A&E where she was observed and pronounced unaffected! I sincerely hope that that was the only occasion she was a drug user!

Playing hide and seek with my 3 year old granddaughter I counted to ten. I went looking for her as I heard her go upstairs, I looked everywhere and couldn't find her, shouting her with no answer I started to panic a little. I kept shouting her and looking for over 5 minutes when I heard a noise in the wardrobe, I had already looked in there once, on taking another closer look she was in the corner with one of my shirts over her fast asleep. I picked her up when she got startled and said, " did you find me",.
All I can say is Panic over.

My granddaughter (then aged 5) asked everyone around the dinner table how many wobblers they had. My OH's son couldn't breathe for laughing, It took us some time to realise she was asking how many loose teeth we all had.

Whilst on holiday with my 2 year old granddaughter and my daughter we found a very large (dead) dragonfly floating in the swimming pool, we fished it out and put it in a corner of the gardens explaining to Alice that it was having a lovely sleep. Later that evening we skyped her dad and mentioned about the 'sleeping' dragonfly, Alice sat silently until her turn to talk to dad when she whispered to the screen 'It was dead dad' don't tell mum'.

My grandson was just 3 and one day when we were out and we took him into a tea room. He had been brought up to eat at the table and not fidget etc so we had no worries about him misbehaving. The customers were chattering quietly to one another at their tables while having tea and scones or cake, enjoying the lovely ambience of this classic tearoom when Fin pipes up:
“Grandad, has Nanna got a willy?”
The tearoom suddenly hushed into a silence like I have never experienced.
“No” said Grandad quietly “Boys and Girls are made differently and Nanna is a girl”
Fin took a piece of if his chocolate sponge and put it in his mouth.
“ Phew, thank goodness” I thought - “we’ve got out of that one ok” and I went to take a sip of my tea.
“So,” says Fin, “has Nanna got a hairy FouFou like Mummy?”

My son was away on business so DIL and I took the grandsons swimming. When they spoke to Daddy that night he asked if they had had fun .... “ not really, they made us go in the ladies changing rooms, and we saw 4 lots of boobs and 2 bums, but luckily we didn’t see any vagina’s “ !!