Very needy 'needy' neighbours!

They make daily phone calls to update everyone on how THEY are doing and never ask how the recipients of the calls are.

Ive stopped taking their calls. They have dozens of neighbours and charities running around doing non essential things for them so Im not abandoning them, there are people who need my energy more.

Calls go like this
"Well as you know I'M vulnerable so I am in TOTAL lockdown so I have X coming to water my flowers because I can only go out for my walk...*
Me: "isnt X on immune suppressants for her arthritis? She is on "lockdown" too and shouldnt really be doing your gardening"
"She isnt over 70 I am!"

So hard to understand, when the restrictions first came into place there was a man on a phone in complaining bitterly as he was 76 years old, he worked, he went to the gym, played golf, had an amazing social life. he considered himself to be FIT. No one was telling him what to do. The man answering the questions tried to explain that when you are in your seventies and older you may be fit but it is your immune system that is not as strong as you get older.That was the reason for staying at home no matter how fit you are.

I live in a rural village where a community scheme was set up to help and support people. Cards would be posted through everyone's door explaining and giving you numbers to contact for help. Our side of the road has received nothing, I was speaking with one of the volunteers only yesterday and she asked had we had cards. Apparently, the woman who agreed to support our side of the road is too busy and hasn't got time but didn't bother to let anyone know.

I have a vulnerable 83 year old neighbour who hasn't been contacted. He is his own worse enemy as no one can do anything right for him and there's only him that is ill. He is frightened as to what is going to happen. I have made numerous 'phone calls and he is eligible for the food box and other support. No doubt the bread won't be suitable or the toilet rolls up to his standard. The fruit and veg. will be wasted as he only eats frozen veg. and the occasional banana. You really can't help some people. I have been warned by my son and his family to stay at home.

My brother would fall into this category. He has Aspregers and does not go out he finds it almost impossible to interact with society. He wouldn’t let me organise a shop for him since before Christmas as there was a new boiler being fitted and he cannot cope with strangers and disruption. Now of course it is impossible to organise one. He doesn’t understand why his neighbour can’t get him everything he would like. So for someone who didn’t know he would come across as demanding.

I never noticed on asda site it told you what number you are in queue? It just said it was high traffic & made me wait nearly an hour? It did say there were over 25000 on boots website though.?

Jane10 I have felt very sorry for kind volunteers buying locally for some elderly who cannot get out. They have been very rude to the volunteers because they do not and will not eat that type of bread- it must be sliced, not unsliced etc. They should be grateful to get anything.

And as far as i know,just cause some are not 'out'on doorsteps clapping for theNHS,doesnt mean theyre not grateful,nor support them,it means theres other reasons not to be outside doing it,(mobility,or bedridden elderly,or agrophobic,or not knowing what day or time is?etc etc) doesn't mean they don't care,or weren't doing clapping in their beds or homes?Just as theres lots of reasons for people who cant get out,theres lots for the "80% of neighbours" who cant stand out to clap.please dont make assumptions.

Yes but a family member. They have all kinds of well meaning people running around after them. They are demanding priority from everyone (phone banking, deliveries etc) and are hamming up their "vulnerabililty" (they are in the vulnerable catagory but by no means the higher end of the spectrum, but are implying to everyone that they are extremely old/vulnerable/sick when actually they are very independant, only just over the age cut off, and their few medical issues are not on the CV high risk list.

I think they are actually enjoying all of this

They are taking up resources and time from people who are seriously vulnerable right now

sazzl, that's exactly what's happening on our local Facebook group as well. The number of reports by curtain twitchers increases by the day; how many were walking in a group, were they family from the same house? Where were they walking from/to? Who was it that was seen riding a bicycle at 11 o'clock at night? On their own. Last night, someone actually complained about one single solitatory firework that was let off at 7 o'clock to celebrate a child's birthday. They're like vigilantes.

If your daughter has a disabled son to 'safegaurd' and herself too,as his carer,do you really need shopping 'daily' Tapdance6???its this attitude thats still putting everyone at risk!

It's a funny old world though isnt it.
Some good others not so Some grateful others needy. I could go on but wont. my MiL was like this only willow butter will do dear she not here now and I chuckle when I think of her. You have to do what you think is right. You can only own your own shame . Very profound from me on a Saturday morning. I'm usually up cooking a full English but I've got no bacon left. BTW only Irish back bacon will do (that's from her son)

They already are limiting purchases Alexa,so i really dont know what happens if you shop for others at same time- shops havent given guidance on this? I know Lidl have recently lifted ban on amounts(except loo rolls!) But that was about 10 days ago,so could change regularly?

We are very lucky that my daughter does our shopping daily. She is still working and they have a disabled son. She has been a godsend as we are both in the vulnerable bracket and have self isolated. ( been in for the last two weeks) as all our children have told us not to go out. The other three children also phone to se if we need any shopping but it is easier if only one does it. Everyone in our neighborhood was out clapping for all the emergency services and the people who are keeping our shops going. Without them all where would we be. Everyone has there part to play in this crisis.

Yes,seemingly,its best to just not bother with neighbours at this time unless you were already 'proper' friends in the first place! Just pop the number on paper(with washed hands!) and put through letterbox,of where they can call for the help to get provisions/ medications supplied.Then leave them to it.i know they keep saying 'to help others' but for those who dont even appreciate it this may be best- especially if your struggling yourself a bit too.

Polnan,is "just saying" a 'brum' phrase then?

I was doing shopping for an elderly nieghbour but have thankfully handed the responsibility to another younger nieghbour. The person concerned was extremely fussy and didn't seem to understand that all her favourite brands were not necessarily available!

What concerns me more is people putting on a Facebook local forum about their neighbours going out too much having visitors etc. Then people telling them who to ring to report these people.
Admin took the last post down tg as whether or not you beleive in reporting others you don't name them and the road on a Facebook page. Do people not realise there could be repercussions from this?
Neighbours from hell could develop or worse.
Personally we just keep myself and OH to ourselves. We are staying in as much as possible and keeping ourselves and others safe.

EllanVallin How strange when I read the OPs thread the same person to came to mind,if she had been nicer in her attitude I would have arranged deliveries for her but she takes more than advantage and I am the most giving person as you know,she has loads of family who don't want to know I wonder why.See you soon x

PS The moaners that posters have mentioned may be elderly. Old people ( and even some younger ones)sometimes find it hard to take in new ideas, and many old people don't understand properly what is going on in the big world.

My sons have offered to shop for me and I gratefully accepted. However they try to food shop once a week. I am concerned the supermarket will limit the purchases an individual is allowed.

Would it be better to ask a charitable scheme to shop for me?

Ignorant people are always going to be fellow travellers on life's road. Nobody can live their lives for them.

Yes, there’s a lot of these type of people about.

This is no time for anybody to pussyfoot around others - everybody has to take care of him/herself whilst doing what might possible for others. You don't say what the lower end of vulnerable is but frankly you can choose to completely self-isolate even if you don't fall into any such category, in the interests of saving the nation. So please don't waste your energy on irritation about your neighbour, be absolutely upfront and say that you are only going out for your own shopping where absolutely necessary and that he should plug into one of the very many schemes that are operating with far more resources than you have. Those schemes are there to protect you too.

Then there is the one who has a list as long as your arm with queries , like , what kind of lettuce? Only get me ... what kind of apples ? I only eat .... how green are the bananas ?
By the time I listen to her moan all goodwill has flown

oh,, can I say,,,, I wish my neighbours were... neighbourly?

Live in a smallish close... only one neighbour said to me that to leave a note for him if I needed anything..

another neighbour, more disabled than me,, I contacted her. and we mail and she phones,, occasionally, not complaining of that.. just saying..

I think there are 50 houses in our close, that drifts off to the left then to the right..

and can I say, not complaining in any way, just saying, in sort of response to this thread

the immediate neighbours know my husband died in November.. I am obviously elderly, but able to get the allotted one walkies a day...

but not neighbourly as I was brought up in Brum....
but then life has changed so much

I am just saying.. that oh, how lovely to "know" your neighbours! lol aren`t we humans a funny lot then.

I feel very let down with my neighbours 80% of them didn’t think it was worth while clapping on either Thursday and I have 2 young couples with cars go out every day and have parents visit that have so far had 2 Tesco home delivery’s and one Morrison’s
I was on an Asda home
delivery site at 7 20 and was customer no 5024!!! I will struggle to inter act with them at the end of this