Frustrated with parents!!

Tuppence15 I really feel for you. This is how I think my own mum would have behaved had she lived to see this. I am grateful that she is not going through this and that I am spared trying to support her. All I can say is please take care of yourself and your own mental health. If that means having the odd day off, take it, and explain to her why you need to. I wish you all the best.

I feel your frustration, personally I am not afraid of dying for whatever reason but I won’t go out now, because I could be responsible for someone else’s death, either by passing on the virus or taking up valuable NHS resources meaning someone else has to wait. I have the same situation with my adult daughter who lives at home, I’ve tried telling her but she says she can’t cope at home, she has mental health problems, Although we live in the same house I can’t physically stop her, she knows I wouldn’t be able to cope if anything happened to her but what can you do?
I’ve send my mum (in her80s) some things to do at home and photos to keep her spirits up and am phoning regularly along with my siblings so she has some kind of interaction. Do they have a garden? Maybe send some seeds to give them things to do safely.
Wishing you all the best of health xx

Greciangirl, all the more reason why you should remain " locked up ". I'm in the same boat but older though I understand that if a younger person can be saved then we've had our lot. DNR's are being " managed " but not in force, I don't think.

You don't have to have underlying health problems for this virus to kill you.

What a cheery thought.
I am nearly 75years old.
So, if I get ill with this virus, I won’t be resuscitated .

Great!!

That’s made me feel even more paranoid now.

Incidentally I have just had a call to say a relative of mine has died of CV . Not someone I was in anyway close to, but a relative none the less which really hits home .

Exactly what May7 said . This is not your fault choughdancer . You can’t force an adult to do the right thing you just have to hope they do .

choughdancer

Dont apologise we're listening even if she isnt.

Know or find somebody wearing a Uniform and get them to have a word. You don’t need to get more stupid as you get older just more responsible?!

It may be the coping mechanism as everyone is different . At least mobility doesn't seem to be an issue . You can catch it however careful you are . Not ideal but a short walk - we are still alowed out for up to an hour maybe good for their mental and physical health .

Maybe they will get a fine for flouting the rules. That would probably give them the shock they need.

Reading this thread has at least helped me feel I am not alone! I have a 97 year old mother, who is very fit for her age, walks every day and hasn't dementia. However she IS 97, broke her hip a few years ago falling over her cat (I found her and can never forget finding her freezing cold and in terrible pain; she wasn't wearing her alarm so couldn't call for help) and now walks with a stick. But she is DETERMINED that she is fine to carry on, insists on still driving her car etc. Her memory has got incredibly bad. She stayed with me for a few months as she and my brother were buying a house, and I tried to be as helpful and loving as possible, but after being here for a long time I discovered that she hadn't brought the charger for her phone or her alarm. I was so upset and got into an argument with her. Unfortunately my brother seems to think the rules are all nonsense, and they are driving out to beauty spots. I think they are social distancing though. Every time I phone her (every other day at the moment) in the conversation she will tell me something she has been doing that isn't okay or that shows she doesn't know the current situation. I've been through the 'protecting other people' with her ad nauseam but she always goes back to the 'I've got to die of something' mantra. I phoned her today and she told me of a lovely walk she had taken to the local reservoir and gone down some steep steps and back up again afterwards and was feeling quite proud of herself. We got into an argument AGAIN because I couldn't help asking what would have happened if she had fallen. She tells me that I'm treating her as an imbecile, and obviously thinks I'm being totally unreasonable. I'm getting so stressed and worried about her, but I think I might have to just not phone her for a while. I don't want to spoil her last years or stop her doing the things she loves, but sometimes I feel like saying to her 'You're very lucky to have lived so long and it's time for you to think of others and follow the rules!' Her favourite mantra is 'I must, I can and I WILL!' Sorry to have gone on so long; just feeling so upset.

If they have a deathwish, so be it. Older people can be quite stubborn and fatalistic. Unfortunately, their actions will have a negative cascade effect on all involved if they get sick
I feel bad for the healthcare workers and shop assistants dealing with people's selfish idiocy. Maybe print out these comments and mail them over to them.

@Rosalyn69
Wow, are you really that stupid that you honestly think that reporting people who break the rules is ‘nasty’?

What is nasty, no downright criminal, is allowing such behaviour to carry on unchecked.

Is the fact that potentially thousands in the U.K. are going to die all alone, without their loved ones even being allowed to say goodbye, not enough for you to cop on?

My friends have a daughter who was working as a nurse in an ICU and now she’s battling the virus. She’s alone, they can’t visit her and they are very scared. She has two young children.

The hard fact is that people flouting the rules are increasing the numbers of others getting infected.

It can take up to 14 days for symptoms to appear so they could be infecting hundreds of people without knowing that they have the virus. Yes, they might get very ill and die but thats not the end of it.

How many other innocent people have they infected during those previous 2 weeks?

Really, it’s no different to giving them a gun and saying ‘just shoot a few random people whilst you are out shopping’.

Would that be ok?

Well said MamaCaz, As for not being afraid to die geekeesie I am of an age that agrees with that. But I do fear the run up to death because I have witnessed it. I intend to avoid death by Coronavirus if I can for that reason, but more especially I would hate that my selfishness might cause another person or health worker to suffer that. Stay indoors if at all possible.

They should be reported, I would for one because it is ignorant people like them who are spreading it.

Sorry but I think they are both absolutely pig-ignorant. I am 69 with a heart condition and I know if I caught this virus it would be very dangerous for me and if I was taken to hospital I may just infect the very people who are trying to help, THE MEDICAL STAFF. I do not venture out at all at this time of self-isolation except a nice stroll around my garden for a few minutes several times a day[ and it is a small garden ].I have seven key workers [ 3 of them nurses] in my family and it is people like this ignorant couple who are a danger to them. No matter what their age they are just down-right selfish, thinking of nobody but themselves. It is NOT a case of not being beaten, and carrying on, it is a case of "If we want to go out we will go out". If they do catch the virus and end up in hospital it is people like them who just clutter up the beds because they did what they wanted to do. Not one thought of the other people who could just as easily catch it of them, medical staff included. This makes me so very, very angry and if they do catch it they will have nobody but them selves to blame BUT they and their family will expect the hospital to do all it can to help them.

Whatever our motives I think this lock down is turning us in a nation of spies and it’s nasty. How long before we start ringing the authorities to report people and are we thinking of ourselves just as the offenders are?

I'm afraid DH and I were doing exactly the same thing. I am 68 and DH is 73. Neither of us have any underlying health problems. We thought our grown up children were being over the top when they told us we shouldn't go out. DH decided he was not going to stay in and would still be going out to the shops but would make sure he followed the social distancing rules. We decided not to tell them we'd be going out a couple of times a week to get some shopping. My Daughter in Law phoned to ask if we needed anything and I let slip that we'd been in to town to M&S. She was so upset and made me promise to stay in. I felt so bad. We'd been behaving like a couple of naughty children and I decided there and then to do as she said. Trying to convince DH was another matter but I finally got him to see that it was because they love us and to them we are old. I have since found out from my daughter that our Grandson was worried that we would be going out. I actually don't mind staying in because I can find plenty to do with my crafting hobbies and the garden to sort out.

Op,

Is this the first time your parents have been so unreasonable? I doubt it

I am feeling very angry reading these posts, don't they realise that the hospitals are finding it difficult to deal with all the cases and medical staff are risking their own health. They are having to distance themselves from their families as they are exposed to the virus. Tell your parents to stop being selfish and only thinking about themselves and STAY AT HOME

The thing is, it's a horrible thing to die from, you drown in your own mucus, basically. It'd be best to be in hospital and doped up with morphine so you don't know what's going on if it came to the crunch.

They are being very foolish. Having worked with the elderly I know how stubborn they can be. Sadly my friends father passed away with COVID 19 last week. He had been quite sensible about going out because he had underlying health issues. His wife however insisted on going out and about including a trip to London. Her daughters tried to prevent her going and now sadly she has lost him. He died with no family present. This is real

As I told my very stubborn Mother today, after yet another conversation involving her admission that yesterday she just 'popped out' for some provisions, 6ft apart, or 6ft under, the choice is yours. My sisters and I have had these daily conversations with her for almost 3 weeks now and are heartily sick of them. I haven't been out of my own house for all that time except for my daily permitted walk and to hang out washing and do a bit of gardening but that's not enough for my mother. I even arranged to have a bag of compost delivered to her during last week from a local garden centre and because they weren't at her front door at 8.00am, she jumped in the car and went and collected it herself. I've given up trying to keep her safe, the ball's firmly in her court as from today. Also, I think we will be hearing pretty shortly of stricter measures to be applied by the government, including not even being able to go out for daily exercise. All because some people refuse to abide by the rules, for whatever reason.

I have some harrowing photographs of someone actually on a ventilator . My DH taken at the end of last year . I also have a day by day diary kept by the nurses and myself . Everyone on a ventilator must be put into an induced coma and even if you are lucky enough to make it through the lasting mental health effects can be horrendous .