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Where do I go for Help for My Daughter and her Shopping

(24 Posts)
Barmeyoldbat Sat 04-Apr-20 13:29:04

As many of you know I have a daughter who lives in a very rural small town 52 miles away She is disabled, just cannot walk very far, about 5 steps at a time, falls a great deal, has learning disability and Type I diabetic and she lives alone with care a few times a day. She has not received an NHS letter so is not on anyones database for priority food deliveries. But the trouble is she can't get out and is stuck for getting in food.

How on earth do we get deliveries of food. Usually do online with Asda, no slots no help on contact. Tried Sainsbury , they are overwhelmed and not taking phone calls. Same with Tesco. There seems to be no community help that I can find. The carers really don't have the time to do all the shop that she needs.

So I am going to do a shop, do the 110 miles round trip and drop the food at her house. Will have to go in the back door and put it on the work surface as she can't bend bend down without falling. I will also visit the Health Centre whilst I am there and ask if there is any help.

ginny Sat 04-Apr-20 13:35:48

Have you tried her local independent grocers ?
Is there a help group in her town.? Look on local council
pages or local Facebook groups.

Luckygirl Sat 04-Apr-20 13:37:23

Can her carers bring her food in?

NfkDumpling Sat 04-Apr-20 13:37:37

I understand if you contact her doctor s/he can get her onto the vulnerable list. It won’t help with supermarket home deliveries though.

I also understand that carers can do shopping for clients now and Asda have a volunteer card for people to do shopping for others. It works on their gift card system. It can be set up on line and the shopping volunteer prints it out their end. Can be topped up. The downside is the queue at the supermarket but I don’t know if the carer can bypass this.

trisher Sat 04-Apr-20 13:38:03

Barmeyoldbat Have you tried just logging in to Sainsbury's and looking at delivery times. I could book a delivery for Tuesday if I wanted to. They are releasing slots every day so that they are not all booked up weeks ahead. It may differ area to area but shouldn't be too different. When you order you can give instructions about how the food is delivered and say if you are vulnerable.

NotAGran55 Sat 04-Apr-20 13:43:13

Can you contact her carer/social worker ?

Willow500 Sat 04-Apr-20 13:54:51

Isn't this just the sort of thing the NHS Volunteers signed up to help with? Have you checked the local paper website to find out if there are any in your daughter's area? We have a hub in our local area which vulnerable people can register with to obtain food parcels, medicine and other essential deliveries. It must be very worrying for you.

SalsaQueen Sat 04-Apr-20 16:31:20

I was a carer for people at home, for 20 years. Could you contact the care company, ask for an extra hour a week?

seacliff Sat 04-Apr-20 17:52:34

Surely there must be a local community facebook group for her area?

In our small village, I have seen several posts from adult children miles away, asking for help for their elderly or disabled parents living locally, and they do receive help and advice. It is worth searching several nearby villages and towns for such a group. Such a worry for you.

ElaineI Sun 05-Apr-20 13:35:24

Try emailing Sainsburys. I did for my Mum and she got slots for online shopping. Or Tesco/Asda if nearer.

gillybob Sun 05-Apr-20 13:37:54

I’m a big late to this post Barneyoldbat but have you looked at the Gingerbread website ?

gillybob Sun 05-Apr-20 13:39:14

Oh sorry scrub that .... I read it all wrong . I wrongly assumed that your DD was a single parent ? Apologies .

BlueBelle Sun 05-Apr-20 13:42:00

Iceland have slots available for old or vulnerable I got one this week
There are many community groups in most towns villages
Are you or any relations on FB ? It is very helpful
We have a list of shops doing free deliveries the local council should be able to help with this we have a local butcher a fruit and veg stall and a cafe bread shop in our area all doing home deliveries there may be many more they are just the ones i can think of on the top of my head
Do some more homework before you embark on that long journey

dragonfly46 Sun 05-Apr-20 14:06:37

We have local Facebook groups who help. We live in a student town and the students are advertising also on Facebook. There are market stall traders who are delivering, coffee shops etc. I have found Facebook invaluable.

Nannarose Sun 05-Apr-20 14:15:21

I suggest going on to her local county council / unitary authority website. They should all now have a system in place so that you can contact them, explain and ask what can be done.
I would have expected her carers to set this up - can you contact the agency / social worker to see if they have?

Barmeyoldbat Sun 05-Apr-20 14:22:16

I have done my homework on this, even tried contacting the so.t solved the problem. I have the Salvation Army are helping in her small town but now I have the problem of payment they will only take cash and once again my daughter can't get out to get money. So tomorrow I am taking a trip to take her shopping over and some cash that she lock away and use. I will also see ASDA about the voucher scheme as they seems a great idea.

NotAGran55 Sun 05-Apr-20 15:02:09

What part of the country is she in ? If she is within reasonable driving distance of me I will shop for her .

Hithere Sun 05-Apr-20 15:05:02

Is your daughter only disabled physically but mentally competent?

If she is legally mentally fit, she is able to make arrangements herself to get what she needs?
Carers can go grocery shopping?

Otherwise, I would contact her carers and make arrangements
May I ask why is she living in such a difficult location that further exacerbates her condition?

Barmeyoldbat Sun 05-Apr-20 15:28:32

Hithere she is living where she is because that where she wants to be. She has lived there for over 20 years. Normally it works well, I have PoA for her finances as she cannot understand values and money. We do online shop once a week which works well, she goes into the account puts everything she wants in the basket. I then go into it check through it, delete the coffee she has order 4 times! discuss over the phone what she has on the house etc. Pay for it and there we are. But now I cannot for the life of me get a delivery. So the system has fallen.
Her carers don't have the time they have a massive work load as it is.

Hithere Sun 05-Apr-20 15:37:36

Add more hours for carers? Prioritize workload?

In the middle of a pandemic, changes have to be made.

I know she wants to live where she lives. Is it however practical long term?
What will happen when you are not here to take care of her affairs?

A person can want all she/he wants but it doesn't mean it is reasonable or doable.

Grammaretto Sun 05-Apr-20 15:45:29

It's a huge worry for you but I am sure there will be an easier way than you having to do a long round trip.
Is there a church near her ?
Does your DD belong to any groups or have any friends?
It's hard to ask but you know you wouldn't hesitate to help someone else if you could so please just ask.
Facebook has really come into its own now too as others have said.
Check out the FB groups in her area.
If you are assertive, it will help others to be too.
You can't have her going hungry.

WOODMOUSE49 Sun 05-Apr-20 17:33:35

I live in a very rural area. Found loads of contacts through FaceBook community page for a village near to me.

Deliveries and collections from farms, small shops and even the Pub doing take away meals - delivery / collection.

I now get eggs, bread, meat, fish, veg and fruit regularly.

CherryCezzy Sun 05-Apr-20 19:28:18

Does the area she lives in run befriending schemes? At the moment more volunteers have signed up the ones that exist. Her county council will know whether there is one or you could easily check online, try CVS or a similar organisation.

Hetty58 Sun 05-Apr-20 19:37:28

The local Nextdoor social site here has a map of neighbours willing to do shopping for others. Is there a click and collect option you could use? Tesco have one. If so, your daughter could still shop in the usual way, you could check, then and a volunteer could collect.