Gransnet forums


Can my daughter come home ?

(17 Posts)
Mirren Sun 05-Apr-20 15:55:25

My youngest daughter lives 2 hours from us in a city where she worked in a cafe ...until recently.
She is our only single " child " and lives in small " student " type flat with 3 other nice girls . 2 are Italian so they are clearly not going home.
Our daughter has been ultra conscientious about self isolating after work finished and has confined herself to her flat , as have her flat mates . I dont think they've been out at all .
DD didn't want to come home initially because she wanted to be 100% certain she could not infect is , especially Dad who is diabetic.
Now , the question is , can she come home , where we have more room, a garden , food , her dogs etc etc.
We could drive direct ot her door and back not stopping on the way.
As we have no idea how long thos might go on , what should we do ?
I also dont like the idea of her flatmates being even more alone though.
Any helpful ideas? We do talk on social media etc and she seems ok and quite content for now

GagaJo Sun 05-Apr-20 16:00:11

If she's OK and content and IF they are all self isolating, then maybe she's OK where she is? How do they get groceries? How do you and your husband get groceries?

SirChenjin Sun 05-Apr-20 16:01:46

The rule is essential journeys only. You have to remember that if you break down or have a crash you will then involve other services which are needed elsewhere and you could potentially pick up the virus that way.

If she’s content and enjoying her flat mates’ company why risk anything?

Oopsadaisy3 Sun 05-Apr-20 16:02:21

If she has been self isolating then, in theory, she should be fine and your DH shouldn’t be at risk.
However, you shouldn’t go and get her and you might well be stopped and have to turn around. Then of course your car might break down, you might have to get fuel, which will put you and others at risk.
TBH she is probably better off in her own home , especially as you say she seems fine.

Scentia Sun 05-Apr-20 16:05:19

I think the rules are you need to be where you are registered at S GP surgery, that is your home. If she is registered at her flat then she needs to stay there, if she is registered at your house then she needs to return home.

Eglantine21 Sun 05-Apr-20 16:05:23

How would you know she wasn’t bringing the virus with her. It’s infectious 14 days before symptoms.

Then instead of nurse having to look after 1 person they will have to look after 3 people, at least one of whom is very vunerable.

This is how it spreads.

Eglantine21 Sun 05-Apr-20 16:06:27

The OP says she has been isolating after work. So she could easily have the virus.

Eglantine21 Sun 05-Apr-20 16:07:32

oh I see after work finished

SirChenjin Sun 05-Apr-20 16:13:02

I think the OP meant she worked at the cafe until recently and since work stoped she’s been isolating. She doesn’t say when the work finished - if it was under 14 days ago she could have the virus.

SirChenjin Sun 05-Apr-20 16:13:17


H1954 Sun 05-Apr-20 16:18:44

Mirren! Stay At Home! Your daughter should stay where she is! You do not know that she isn't infected, she has company in her flat so she should stay there?

Look at it this drive the 2 hours each way to collect her........that's 4 hours of risk of accident or the event that you have a collision with another vehicle that would probably mean one ambulance for each casualty ( that's normal practice ) ........ each crew member would need gloves, a mask and other PPE for the incident.........those ambulances would be tied up and unavailable for other jobs! Alternatively you might breakdown en route..........that's risk to the roadside recovery driver and their colleagues and family! Need I say more???????? STAY AT HOME!!!!!

EllanVannin Sun 05-Apr-20 16:30:45

Nobody should be coming and going during this time. It's what's causing it to spread. Think of the nursing staff if/when planning unnecessary travel.

Mirren Sun 05-Apr-20 16:32:36

Thank you, everyone. That is all helpful and we will stay put.
I'm sure she hasn't got it. She and her flat mates have been self isolating ( with each other in the flat ) for 16 days now so I doubt they are infected ( I hope )
I agree the journey might be a risk and , of course , she isnt registered with our GP .
I'm sure all us parents and grandparents are struggling with this sort of dilemma .

growstuff Sun 05-Apr-20 16:37:24

Up to half a million university students have just returned home. What's the difference?

IF your daughter does come home Mirren, I would make absolutely sure that everybody in the home remains 100% socially isolated for two weeks. Then you can be reasonably sure you're starting with a clean slate (as it were).

You didn't say what kind of diabetes your DH has, but if it's Type 2 (and he doesn't have any other conditions), the current guidelines are the same as for everybody else, but to be especially careful. Any infection is likely to send diabetics' blood sugar levels haywire and it will be more difficult to recover, but diabetics aren't in the extremely vulnerable group. If at all possible, your DH should keep his distance from you as well as your daughter.

SirChenjin Sun 05-Apr-20 17:05:25

Universities closed ages ago - what have 500,000 students been doing in the meantime?

Hithere Sun 05-Apr-20 17:31:09


Furthermore, her home is where she lives now. Her home is not your home.
Going to your house would qualify as a visit. It is NOT essential, it is OPTIONAL

I love the excuses people use to justify the rules dont apply to them

Stay at home. Where everybody lives full time.

Toadinthehole Sun 05-Apr-20 17:32:04

My granny used to say, “ if in doubt... do nowt”. As others have said, the real risk is in you breaking down, or having an accident, and the number of people potentially involved through that. Don’t forget, if you’re like us, the car has hardly been used the last few weeks, so more potential perhaps for problems with that. If she’s fine at the moment, leave it. The government have said the next few weeks are crucial. We’ve got this far, we need to soldier on.