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I feel ill with isolation

(21 Posts)
MaryTheBookeeper Wed 29-Apr-20 17:32:32

I am single & live alone. No extended family. I feel ill with this lockdown. I feel like a zombie. I have a few friends I can zoom with though I don't hear from them much as they have their own problems. I have projects I could do though I've lost motivation as the weeks have gone on. I started quarantine a week early as I had a chest infection that still hasn't shifted, although it has lessened somewhat. I feel so disconnected from the world, even from myself a bit now. I feel like I'm shutting down.

GrannySomerset Wed 29-Apr-20 17:37:03

Poor you, Mary. You sound thoroughly run down as well as fed up and you have my sympathy. I am fed up with being virtually shut in and I’m not suffering from anything other than the need to be sociable. I am less than motivated too, and have to make myself do all the exciting things which are currently on offer. My mother would have suggested a tonic!

Oopsadaisy3 Wed 29-Apr-20 17:40:00

Well you’ve made a start by reaching out on GN, so well done for that, plenty on here to help while away the time.
I expect its finding the motivation that is so hard, it’s difficult not to just watch the TV and eat biscuits. Do you have any outside space? If not, even an open window is good to watch the world go by.
I hope you get over your chest infection, you are probably still trying to recover from that and so are not very perky.
Get well soon ??

phoenix Wed 29-Apr-20 17:40:16

Mary (forgive me for not using your full name*

Sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, can you go out for a walk, look for signs of spring etc?

I can appreciate that it might be difficult, and taking that first step is hard, but please try.

Sending you every good wish.

Bridgeit Wed 29-Apr-20 17:43:17

So sorry to read of this, please try to stay positive, you will get through this.
I think there are other interactive sites, (Silver surfers is one ) that you may find enjoyable.
I think also there are telephone helplines , which can be very beneficial, best wishes ??

rosecarmel Wed 29-Apr-20 17:44:43

You're not alone in your loneliness- Even people who are sharing households are experiencing a sense of disconnect from the world they once knew and who they were in that world-

Work with what's familiar, things that formerly brought you joy that can still be done- It may help you to reconnect-

Callistemon Wed 29-Apr-20 17:51:49

Mary if your chest infection hasn't cleared up completely do you think you may need more antibiotics?
An infection like that can make you feel very low afterwards and you may still need plenty of rest and perhaps a pick me up such as vitamins or Sambucol.

Do you belong to U3A or any other clubs as I know they are holding online sessions for yoga, meditation etc as well as other groups meeting on Zoom?
Watching news on TV can be upsetting and draining so I avoid too much, only catching up once or twice a day.

There is always GN - some threads are uplifting


rosenoir Wed 29-Apr-20 17:56:00

Sorry you are feeling so bad, it will pass. I think we all have bad days .

I think it helps not to look to far ahead. Look as far as the next nice thing, there must be some part of the day that is better than the others,a TV programme, a book ,computer game,something you like to eat or even just a cuppa if that is what you like.

Posting on here is a good thing, it will give you a few words of encouragement, or there will be a post that takes your interest which keeps your mind occupied for a few minutes.

Keep posting someone will always reply flowers

notanan2 Wed 29-Apr-20 18:00:29


Theres another thread on MN where everyone is posting that all the grouo chats and zooms that were happening amongst friends and family have been tailing off as people have run out of steam with it.

Theres nothing new to say about the situation so calls are shorter and messages are fewer

The little things make a difference, with social distancing strangers dont make small talk in queues, shop assistants keep their distance rather than chat to you while you browse etc.

Its nice when people smile at each other while out for walks but the chit chat is missed

Redhead56 Wed 29-Apr-20 18:13:17

I agree with others we all have our bad days. I have tearful days quite often I do not like the restrictions we are living under but they are necessary. That fact that you are under the weather won't help but if you are on the mend that's good. Cook read do anything to keep your mind occupied. Do an online course some are really interesting. Futurelearn is very good and gransnet is good company you will have a laugh just reading some of the comments.

annep1 Wed 29-Apr-20 18:17:54

Mary you are not alone. I am sitting on the bed with a glass of wine while OH makes dinner downstairs. Having someone else at home does not guarantee that you won't miss company and you can't get a decent amount of time alone. I am ready to tear my hair out.
Can you go for a walk is there anyone you could chat to from their garden gate?
There is no easy answer to this. You need to force yourself to keep doing things. Perhaps write down your plan for the day and make yourself do it regardless of how you feel. Easier said than done but we mustn't give up!
Meditation can help. And telling yourself it wont last for ever. I do sympathise though. Its very depressing. And wish you well.

J52 Wed 29-Apr-20 18:25:11

Sorry that you are feeling so low.

It has been suggested that breaking up the day with timetabled activities and moving to different rooms for set times, helps with isolation.

Do you ever listen to radio 4? The programmes are very interest and varied, with a mixture of factual, dramas and comedy.

If you can get some fresh air and sit in the sun ( when it’s there) it might help.

crazyH Wed 29-Apr-20 18:32:19

Mary, I too live on my own, but I do have family. I don't see a lot of them due to this Virus. I am not one for FaceTime or Zoom.....I have always preferred to visit and chat over a cup of tea.
I do feel for you. A neighbour mine who is a widow, no children and no extended family, or rather, is not close to any of her family, catches a bus into town every day, walks around there and returns.
My sister never ever married. When she used to visit us and see our hectic and chaotic family life, she is glad she never married.
So Mary, do get back to your 'projects' and keep busy. Take an hour of your day to visit gransnet. There are games on here, which you could join in. And most of all, pour your heart here, if you want. flowers

rosecarmel Wed 29-Apr-20 18:33:04

I do hope that group chats are not becoming shorter because people are internalizing how they may be truly feeling because they don't want to burden anyone else any further-

Oldbutstilluseful Wed 29-Apr-20 18:47:03

Dear MaryTheBooker, you are not alone. I totally understand how hard it is to get motivated. If you have access to your local library online, you will find there is a tremendous amount of audio books you can download. I find it so helpful to lose myself in a good story while getting on with all the tedious chores that have to be done. Then, when finished, I feel much more able to take up one of my projects.

I agree with other posters that feeling unwell for such a long time isn’t helping. Please ring your doctor, they are still there to look after us, and hopefully they will help you with another prescription.

Take care and look after yourself.

Babyshark Wed 29-Apr-20 19:13:41

Sorry you’re feeling so low op. Hopefully some small easing of the restrictions is on the horizon and even though it will be small steps, each step is a little freedom and social contact resumed.

Namsnanny Wed 29-Apr-20 21:26:24

rosecarmel … that is a very insightful post. I'm glad you wrote it. Thanks.
I tend to react this way.

rosecarmel Thu 30-Apr-20 00:37:42

As far as shutting down is concerned, it's possible it's the body's response to protect itself, urging itself to rest and recuperate rather than expending the mental energy on resisting the very things the body needs to heal-

There's a video on YouTube titled Women of These Hills that some might enjoy- There are many others- They are a tough bunch, many living in isolation- I find them inspiring-

Namsnanny Thu 30-Apr-20 12:47:17

Marythebookkeeper … How are you today?

I'm really glad you posted. It helps other people like me for example, to see their behaviour mirrored back to them.

I find I make contact with people, when I feel up to it, talking about other subjects.
As I cant always express how badly I feel myself.

You must be feeling under the weather still from the effects of your infection. That cant be helping.

Please post again. About anything you like.
I would like to hear from you


moggie57 Thu 30-Apr-20 12:56:31

if you got a chest infection that hasnt shifted .first thing is ring the doctor.......yes it does get depressing staying in 24/7 .. i have no tv just dvds to watch. i do some communal gardening..and maybe a jaunt to the local supermarket. but where are all these volunteers? i have asked locally if anyone going to tesco or doing an on line order(i need some wheat free/dairy free pasta. ) and there is no offers of i'll get it for you....i dont feel like getting up in the mornings. really getting depressed .its really finding it difficult to do the little jobs that need doing....and i have a hole on my tooth that is agony.nearest dental place in sidcup hospital in kent. some 25 miles away by bus.. lockdown doesnt permit journeys like that...

BlueBelle Thu 30-Apr-20 13:22:42

mary i do understand totally I m alone too but I m lucky that I have one adult child nearby who looks out for me very well but it’s not easy living alone
If you want a chat, just personal message me