Starting to become agoraphobic in lock down

I am 65 and work in two libraries. One is a short walk away, the other is a bus ride (or a 50 minute walk). At the moment I am furloughed. I love my job and miss my regulars. I gather in Wales they are talking about opening the libraries and tips. I must admit that for all I miss it, I am really apprehensive about the thought of going back .

Didn't bother me at first - never really went out much except to supermarket. After 6 weeks I'm getting to feel a bit stir crazy. Can't bother getting dressed, cooking, or much else really. Speak to kids on phone and miss seeing them and grandkids. Don't think they realise how bad of a situation this is.
Worst worry I remember having was hiv epidemic. Then there was swine flu, bse, Ebola,, sars.
Nothing in my lifetime has brought the whole world to a halt

I’m not really having a problem staying in as high risk, I must admit I do feel a teeny bit envious when I see people walking by, but I am looking forward to gradually going out and about whenever this is all over, I won’t be rushing out though, I will be very cautious for many months afterwards,

I agree I feel down if I do not go out for a walk we avoid crowds and do not go to supermarkets but manage to go for walks in fields and wood

We had a lovely surprise in the post today, a beautiful card, sent by our eldest daughter and granddaughter who live a distance from us and we haven't seen since February (although speak on phone daily) it had lots of pictures of them on the front and inside was printed, we are missing seeing you and having hugs and kisses, I admit it made me cry, but good tears, we miss them so much!! We just have to get on with life as best we can, we are all in the same boat, and as long as we don't end lockdown too soon we will all survive to tell the tale. Keep safe and well everyone xx

Thank you Tillybelle I am enjoying the quieter life at home and don't feel I am developing a phobia, just expressed myself badly. It just feels good not to have the pressures of every day life and to slow down a bit. Jaxie it is understandable how you are feeling right now, please do talk to your GP about pain relief.

I was relieved when on retirement could dispense with the meeting /greeting scene which was part of my job. I wanted a quiet life not entirely with late H approval but feel this wanting type of life is seeing me through what is now a must not do situation.I go to bed / get up when I like.Where am I allowed to go ? I can get food/prescription delivery don't need to go out and the only person I see through my window, not meet, is the guy who helps with my garden and left to do what needs doing. Reluctant to go for a walk on the beach ?Might meet some one I know ? .
No doubt not alone in this situation my question is what are the likes of myself becoming .Will I want to go out once restrictions are lifted ?

I have continued throughout to do a short car ride for my weekly Sainsbury shop. Never feel in any sort of danger there. Come back the long way round, so this also gives my car a once-a-week run out.
Other days, provided it is dry usually get out for a trundle on my mobility scooter around park, or along Promenade.
Was delighted when B&Q opened their store and was able to get to garden centre there - again, felt totally safe, they have put in such good social distancing controls and safety features for staff and customers alike.
Yesterday I was able, once again, to trundle round my local Wilko - no queues, few people there - again felt quite safe and it was nearly a little bit of normality
Have found myself getting quite lazy being in my flat so much of the time, passing time with on-line course, jigsaws, and using both the television and computer much too much.
Today had a lovely zoom meet-up with some U3A people, am looking forward - probably many months away yet - when the different groups and coffee mornings re-start.
But what I am most missing is being able to have people visiting me.
Will welcome this happily as soon as permitted.

Not sure what to call it, but whenever I hear talk about 'opening up', I feel dread in the pit of my stomach. Conversely, when I hear, "... 'lock down' extended until....."
I am both grateful and relieved!

It's not that I don't sympathize with those who can't work from home and must venture out in order to earn a paycheck....I get it.

The resulting quagmire however, is that in many places (such as the US), the risk of venturing out in the midst of this pandemic will only feed the virus further and more people will end up getting sick or even dying.

Until adequate (widespread) testing/contact tracing, a proven remedy or an effective vaccine becomes available, there is no upside to this. "Opening up" will definitely save jobs and businesses in the short term, but will come at a much greater cost .......the loss of human lives!

I had a split with my partner in Dec 2018 after 16 years together and still feeling the effects, anxiety, depression (although not diagnosed) but having the kids with me has been a blessing and I don't really want it to end really apart from missing my older children and grandchildren. There's been less stress in the house even with homeschooling and both girls(12,14) are getting on so well. I still go shopping after my two days at work and don't make specials trips, and enjoy evening walks to avoid others.

quizqueen, what would your measure of success for lockdown have been - if you think that the achievement of zero deaths in your area is not it?

I'm not getting agoraphobic about going out in the open, with few people around.
I am getting nervous about the idea of 'normal' meetings with friends and groups for hobbies and interests, such as we have always had.

How lucky you are in where you're living, Quizqueen. There have been 1,151 where I am. Thankfully, it's been slowing down to maybe 10-12 a day for the last few days.

I’m not getting agoraphobic but the reverse. Been shielding for over seven weeks with DH. I long to go for a walk in the countryside - which is at the end of the road - or down to the beach. But I am getting to feel very apprehensive about being in crowded situations. Even with social distancing. I’m scared of the prospect of going into a shop or walking of the promenade in the summer with other people around and it’d take a lot of courage to get on a bus or train. Planes are out of the question now, think of the airport!

Jaxie. I'm so sorry. The pain sounds awful. I have heard it is a very painful op. afterwards. You are not going mad, being in pain makes us realise we are vulnerable. You will get through, I really believe that. If the pain is intolerable at this time after the op. I would contact you GP for some medication. It is natural that you fear falling and don't want to go out of your house where you feel safe. If you can have what you need delivered then I would try and do whatever exercises they advise at home for a bit. I think the fear of contamination on parcels is not very likely but if you feel happier, just leave them a day before opening. I have deliveries and haven't been particularly bothered about the virus being on the parcels. I just wash my hands.

I hope you can gradually begin to regain your confidence. I am sure the pain is undermining you. I think you need stronger painkillers. Good luck and very best wishes. You will get better and be walking miles before you know it! ?

Yes, Jaxie, I was terrified of falling when I had both my knees done last year . This lockdown has stiffened them up so I'm back to my basic physio exercises , my lock down weight gain won't be helping either . Look at Bonesmart for good advice and do your exercises that you got on discharge , but nice and easy . Yes, you've been through hell , your body will still be in shock and will be jangling . Big hugs x

It’s just plain silly to fear going out again.

We should welcome the day when we are sanctioned to go OUT. I can’t imagine never being able to meet up with friends and family again.
Feel the fear, and do it anyway.

Yes, the banks are open, albeit shorter hours.
At my bank, it’s one in and one out. So, no need to be afraid.

I've become even more self conscious than usual as I've put on weight ! I love walking the beach and woods but hope no-one sees me !
I need to get back into work with a routine and fitness regime .I'm away for a sweetie.........

Helenlouise3. I'm so sorry you had that worrying experience. I wanted to say how kind of you it is to tell us and to help us with the suggestion that we keep going out just a little bit as much as we are able. It is a very good and important suggestion. I'm inclined to forget to contact anyone for days on end and forget to go out. I was particularly impressed by how you said "Agoraphobia has a way of creeping up on you". That is a very important point. Thank you.

I’m recovering after a total knee replacement; the pain was worse than that if childbirth. I have had no physiotherapy at all and 2 months after the op my knee feels terrible. I can’t bring myself to walk outside as I’m afraid of stumbling and falling. I’ve lost my appetite completely and feel a total mental & physical wreck, as though I’m not normal. Is it usual to feel nervous of going outside and completely demoralised after this op? Every time a parcel arrives I’m convinced its wrappings are tainted with Corona virus. I’ve never been the wimpy type before.HELP...

Judy54. It has crossed my mind that this experience, bred through anxiety, will engender some new Sufferers from both Agoraphobia and OCD - washing, or where the person has a fear of germs. Underlying these, as I said, is fear or high anxiety which fuels the conditions. To be phobic is very uncomfortable, it is distressing, and the behaviour - staying in, washing hands, - is done to reduce the anxiety.

If you are just rather enjoying the quieter life of being at home and not feeling particularly anxious about going out, except that you prefer being at home, it is unlikely that you are developing a phobia. If at the end of lockdown, you choose to alter your life a little and not do as much going out as before, that is fine. Who knows? You may have decided this without the lockdown.

If anyone is apprehensive about going out again, I would suggest that, within your current environment, you take little short outings. If that is possible. Mine are only in my garden which I am lucky to have. If you live in a flat try going to different windows every so often and looking out for a while, observing the birds, people, clouds floating by or whatever you may see.

I was forced to live alone and hardly go out long before the lock down and was rather surprised by how easily I adapted to it. I am lucky to have small dogs and a garden, I do realise and appreciate that. Time does go by very quickly and there is always far more to do than I can manage each day.

I think when life begins to get back to normal you will be able to adapt to going out again, but there is no reason why you should not put in practice the new pleasure you have learned; that you enjoy staying at home, and so enjoy more time at home than you had before. If at first going out is a bit difficult, make sure you plan only short forays and do not put too much pressure on yourself. Gradually you will become acclimatised again. Meanwhile do not worry too much about the future and how you will manage. Cross that bridge when it comes. I think it will not be as hard as one imagines.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and comfortable time at home and most of all good health. To anyone lonely, unwell or unhappy, I send much love and prayers and remember, you are not alone. There are so many of us who live alone, but we can think of each other and send our love which I sincerely believe does sail through the air and into the right places. ???

Thank you all for your interesting responses. My sincere apologies to those who have come forward to say that they do suffer from agoraphobia it was not perhaps the best use of words to describe how I am feeling. At the beginning of lock down like many people I felt trapped, now my feelings have changed to not wanting to go out. This has only happened in the last few days and is probably due to having become acclimatized to staying indoors. Hopefully when things ease I will enjoy the prospect of getting out and about again. My good wishes to you all.

I am quite happy at home, I do my half hour walk, and relax when I come back in time for escape to the country? am quite enjoying lockdown, feel very chilled dh has a walk then goes for a sleep so I read or watch Netflix. Making the most if it I know when things get back to normal I won’t start rushing around to get to places anymore.

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I have the same attitude as out Meryl Streep