How sad is this?

My mother fell on her way to bed one evening. I had managed to get her an alert necklace but she had left it on the dining table. She lay there all night. It was January but fortunately the heating was still on. I phoned her the next morning at 10 am. When I had no reply, I went to her house and saw the paper still in the letterbox and milk still on the step. My heart froze. I let myself in and there she lay on the floor. It breaks my heart that she had lain there for 12 hours. She was just about conscious and I got her neighbour to help me get her up. The doctor came and we managed to get her into a nursing home for a temporary couple of weeks. She lived another year but was never the same. She would certainly have died if I hadnet gone round. But on reflection it would have been kinder for her . She hated her last year of life.

that's a very kind suggestion Chattykathy such a sad state of affairs for people on their own and have no one near to check on them

Often thought this could me, tripping on the stairs. Actually happened to my father. At least I found him next day. As long as it’s not a lingering death, feel more sorry for the person that discovers them...

Charleygirl My worry is me dying at home and my cat starving.

Me too. My AC don't phone/text every day but I have now set up an arrangement with a friend who emails every morning. She has my AC's phone numbers and also a nearby friend's. If I didn't respond to her email she would phone landline and mobile, and if no response would contact the nearby friend first. I have a keysafe. Friend has AC's numbers too.

This plan has given me peace of mind. Would you be able to set up something similar?

I also carry a card in my wallet on the suggestion of the Cats' Protection people, saying "cat at home needs to be fed" in case I was taken ill away from the house.

My last little rescue cat had been left in dire circumstances. Her owner had died and the son didn't even know she had a young cat. I think his mother had been dead for a few days. The little cat was only about 5 months old, had not been spayed and had already had a litter of kittens. She was the Houdini of cats when I adopted her and could open any closed door .... a skill she presumably learnt in order to get out of the house and catch some food to feed her two tiny kittens.

The son took her and the kittens to a rescue centre when he found them, and I later adopted her. It's always said that there is no greater gratitude than that of a rescued pet. I believe that's true. I loved her and she loved me from Day One.

@grannygranby how does the NHS discharging someone from hospital folate to them dying at home ? People die at home from all sorts of reasons , nothing to do with the NHS.
I’m 67 , if I fall downstairs will you blame the NHS ?

My husband phones his mother 3 times a day morning, afternoon and evening to be on the safe side .

Charleygirl5 and Ladymuck - Cats Protection offer a "Cat Guardians" scheme (free of charge) so that anyone with Pets can register with them and they will be collected and re-homed. I also have stickers for the Windows, designed for the Emergency Services, that say - "Please Save our Pets" - so that in case of fire, or sadly in the event of Death, Police Officers or anyone else attending would be aware that there are animals in the house. I have registered my animals, even though I live with my hubby. Other relatives are miles away and we don't often hear from them! Thankfully, we have a good neighbour, who would check on us if we hadn't contacted her in a while!
Polnan I'm sure there would have been a nurse with your husband when he was in hospital. I've heard many people say that nurses sit with patients in their last hours.

We have a deeply unpleasant relatively young neighbour on our small Close. It occurred to me that as he has nothing to do with any of us (actually building fences on his open plan front garden) that he could die and none of us would know.

The saddest thing is how the NHS don’t care for the elderly any more. Discharged from hospitals to ‘protect the NHS’. When old we are abandoned to the care sector. Underfunded, under resourced under valued. Let’s hope the painful deaths of thousands of old people that were allowed will not be in vain and it will never happen again.

It's so sad that this happens - and of course will happen even more during lockdown. My nearest relative lives 80 miles away, so as I live alone I make sure that I put something on our Family WhatsApp each morning. I know my daughter would notice if I missed - the boys might take slightly longer I feel! Sadly a very dear friend of mine died this way. Luckily we had a key to each others home and found him the next day after he didn't turn up as usual for his morning coffee. Otherwise he would have lain there for long enough as his family all lived a long way away.

in this day and age you would think people would knock if they hadnt seen the person for a while .but not many do.i think during the virus lockdown there should have been some kind of community warden to check on these things...am not being racist etc .but not all neighbours speak the same language..

It is tragic when that happens and unfortunately it is too often. I do hope this pandemic highlights inefficient a welfare system we have in the UK especially with regard to the elderly.

Just before lockdown my neighbour aged 80 plus visited me for a social chat. Later that day she fell up (not down according to the neighbour who found her) her cellar steps and died. Her neighbours, across the road noticed on the Saturday that her lights had stayed on. Her learning disabled son had been unable to find her and had sat waiting for her return. All very sad.

This week our local paper reported that an alert paper boy spotted two days of papers untouched by one of his elderly customers, and as a result she was caught in the nick of time. Relatives were apparantly 'so upset', but it would appear that nobody had rung her or checked on her in three days; sad times.

So sad, nobody should die alone. I thought this virus had brought people together more, obviously not

It is very sad that anyone dies alone in their own home but inevitable I'm afraid, a sudden heart attack, a fall down the stairs can happen even in a family that have gone out for the day leaving one member alone.
The saddest in my opinion is not dying alone but living alone without family or friends that care.

polnan, I'm so sorry that you couldn't be with your husband when he died. I'm sure at least one nurse would have been with him. Most importantly he died with your love in his heart.

My husband is also a retired police officer. The saddest death he dealt with was an elderly man who had died sitting in an armchair in his home. It was two days after Christmas and he had been dead for a few days. The most poignant thing was that he had cards inviting him to spend Chirstmas with friends and family. Also he had no heating, was wearing his overcoat to keep warm but had £200 in his back pocket. My husband dealt with many and sometimes violent deaths, including a man dying in his arms, but the wee man in his armchair is the one he remembers the most.

One of my children phones every other day - just to 'check that I'm not dead' - bless them!

I think that this has happened many times before the Covid pandemic. It is very sad that people don't have other people to call upon them or even give them a call to see if they are OK - virus or not. We should all look after each other and check on our neighbours, especially those living alone.

I have police officers in my family and was very touched when told how respectful they are when attending a sudden death. One said that her mentor always said a short prayer then opened a window “to set the soul free”, and she’s done it ever since.

I've had 2 different neighbours in the past who died at home alone. Not from Covid 19 I hasten to add. It happens and always has and it will continue. It's not a new phenomenon.

Charleygirl, please pluck up the courage to tell a neighbour of your fears. At the end of the day we are all human and the only thing you have to loose is your pride but as your cat can’t do it for you you must. You can always mention you don’t intend to pester them daily. As for your cat as long as it can get outside, I’m sure it would instinctively hunt to survive.

Really horrible for all involved. I do sympathise. Fortunately for myself and DH our daughters lives relatively close and are in contact frequently.

My husband was a police officer. He said that one of the worst type of calls they got was when a neighbour rang to say they hadn't seen someone for several weeks. They knew what they were walking into.