Grandma daycare when shielding pauses

It is still relevant at present, despite what Boris says. My consultant advised me last week to be extra vigilant and I'm sure I'm not the only one it applies to.
I contribute to shielding research and was asked yesterday what my opinion was on shielders wearing a wrist band, to ask people to keep their distance and wear a mask near them. Many people have given up masks and distancing here.

the original query is from a year ago.

I am in Scotland and have been shielding, so no childminding for me during the pandemic.
However, I have been advised to still take extra precautions, as although doubly vaccinated, being immunosuppressed has meant, that for me, the vaccine is not fully effective.

I can appreciate that your DIL must be anxious about not having a childminder, but she doesn't seem to be too concerned about you and your husband's welfare. My son and DIL have decided that it is still too risky for me to childmind and have made alternative arrangements.

I feel for you, being torn in two.

This a thread from last year

If the child's parents have managed during lockdown restrictions then let them carry on doing so. You and your OH should look after yourselves first and although this might sound harsh, us grandparents really ought to be a little more selfish when it comes to childcare. I know I couldn't do it on a regular basis.
Grandparent childcare is all too often a cheap cop out for parents, why have children if you're going to farm them out to grandparents?

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We didn't see them at all until the guidelines were changed to allow meet ups etc

We have started looking after our grandchildren again one day a week. When the rules relaxed they said it was ok for families to provide childcare again. We don't socially distance with the grandchildren, it is impossible with young children, especially when looking after them.
We socially distance with everyone else and don't go out. I don't even go shopping, we do click and collect.
If its safe for people to go into pubs, gyms the hairdresser etc i don't think holding a small child's hand can be dangerous. It has certainly helped mental health and theirs too.

OP only agree to look after your grandson if you feel OK about it. If it is too much then now is probably a good time to talk about it with your son.

As I understand it we can extend our bubble to 6 from end July. Could be wrong!

@justwokeup, I’m still confused! How can you look after grandchildren and social distance?. Are you in Scotland or England?

Talking to the doc would be a good idea anyway, a friend's doc rang her to say 'extending the bubble' didn't apply to her and she was to continue self-isolating. We, on the other hand, are taking over childcare as allowed from 1 Aug for a few days a week as you describe and looking forward to it. However it is very tiring and I'll be saying 'no' to any other requests for an hour's cover here and there. If your DS and DiL are amenable to sending him to nursery in the mornings, or afternoons, from 3 years old, could you offer to pay, or could they pay, until he gets a free place? It might be that they have also had a rethink on the situation. I wouldn't worry about him not wanting to visit your house though, he must be as keen for a change of scenery as we all are!

We had 3 year old grandson (now just 4) on 2 days a week, 7 hours a day, and he was on the go all day and had to be watched every minute. Lockdown made me realize how tiring it was (we are over 70). I am able to discuss things with my daughter and we have agreed to do school pickups for 6 year old and now 4 year old two days a week, giving us a long weekend if we want to go away somewhere. My niece also needs childcare with a 6 and 7 year old but I know I cannot take on any more, don't want the responsibility, and feel very guilty about not being able to do it all, have trouble saying "no", but I need to be sensible, I haven't got the energy and I did my stint over 30 years ago with 3 under 10 years at one stage and husband working all hours. My advice is don't take on anything you will later regret. Have a heart to heart talk with your son now. If your husband is still working from home he is still at risk .

@Nitpick48 Thank you,will get him to do that

I’m shielding and my husband is shielding with me. We won’t be minding the grandchildren, the virus is here to stay and until we get a vaccine I’m playing safe. You could get your husband to ask his GP (you can ring the surgery and GP should ring him back) and get GP’s advice on how he should protect himself. Then you can honestly tell your family that you’ve been advised not to .

Not 3 until September

@Janet8 I'm not sure.He's not 3 until September and I don't think they can go until the term after their 3rd birthday so that wouldn't be until the New year

Do all 3 year olds now get 30 hours nursery placement if they want it?
That might help you all.

A tricky one ,not ricky one lol

Thank you all for your replies.It's a tricky one. I think they forget how old I am (66) as I'm still pretty fit and would run around with the little one and just be fun all the time but having had 4 months without him,it made me realise how much hard work it was and also we had to plan our lives around having him.No on the spur trips off to Cornwall.Plus when hubby used to work the occasional day from home before lockdown,it was difficult trying to explain to a 2 year old that grandpa couldn't just stop and come and play. Also how does social distancing work in the home? It doesn't. Just because shielding is being paused the virus is still out there and hubby is still at risk. I know I need to have this conversation with my son and DIL.

Suggestion
Use a white lie and say GP has suggested it would be wise for your husband not to take risks for the time being, as spikes are popping up here and there and it's better to err on the side of caution.
Or you could actually consult your GP in the right way , asking him to GUARANTEE that it is safe for your husband to have your grandchild in the home. Your GP will be loath to do so, - so then it wont be a white lie!

I spoke to a lovely friend a few days ago who could have written your post - over Lockdown she's realised that looking after GC x 2 has been all too much for her and she wants out. She's now "invented" a health condition which is giving her time to think and them time to come up with an alternative. She fears alienating them if she told them the truth but she's nearly 70 and can't cope with them full-time (her husband goes to bed "with a headache" most days they're there!) Sad when we fear being truthful with our loved ones.

When lockdown started, rosieod1, I felt liberated because I was at no one’s beck and call. I’m now in a support bubble with my GC et al as I live alone.
Normal service hasn’t quite been resumed, because their Dad is still working from home.
Things will change no doubt in the new school year! I said from the outset that I wasn’t prepared to have them every day, but I help out by taking them 2 mornings and picking them up one afternoon. There is no doubt that they are hard work and you must consider your own health and well-being. Getting older, slower and less energetic for many of us is a darn inconvenience, but it is, unfortunately, the reality.
I’m sure that you can come to an amicable arrangement.

Oh, I can sympathise, I have (not often) had my small GS (with Down Syndrome), from 8.30 - 5.30pm. While he's a joy, he is still mischievous. He does love to run and climb and jump, I'm not up for this! At the moment, he is better 'cause he likes to try to read and count! It's still difficult to get in the small child mindset.
I would try a compromise with your DIL?

I'm high risk so following government guidelines closely. Even with the push to open up the economy the advice to shielded is to maintain social distance etc. They can only return to work if Covid safe. I think the government are expecting everyone to make their own decisions on risk in conjunction with healthcare providers which if your case is anything like those of diabetics is not straightforward! I would say having your grandson doesnt comply with government guidelines. It could be a good idea to check out Gov.UK ,at least you will have some evidence. It's a very tricky and stressful time. My daughter and family live in Surrey and at the weekend are coming down to Dorset. I'm high risk,my grandsons are 18 months and 4. I will continue to maintain social distancing as much as I can with childeren that age and we will meet outside. My daughter respects that and is fully supportive. My in laws are in 70s and high risk group but will be more than happy to not social distance! I hear you tiredness at the thought of long days with a three year old as well. I imagine this would increase in new normal where previous activities may not be available or increase risk to your husband.