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Advice please - Coronavirus - mixing with GC, babysitting, possible holiday?

(20 Posts)
SuzieHi Fri 31-Jul-20 15:02:32

Going to a barbecue tomorrow in D garden - her 3 children under 6, SIL, other daughter and partner. 3 households - think this is just about ok. Still not supposed to hug children? Keep our distance?
D asked if I could then look after all 3 children for 2-3 hrs at our house one day next week - I said no. Did add would watch them in her garden ( she said not much use don’t bother! ) They’ve been mixing with lots of friends/ including camping trip with 19! Her reply also included “ I don’t understand you mum, you won’t have them but you are considering going on your holiday” (a German river cruise in Sept - if it runs). She added “we need to get on with life”. Hubby & I being careful as we obviously don’t want the virus. Think the river cruise would be ok if masked, careful- mostly outdoors apart from the airplane ( short flight). To be honest haven’t decided whether we want to go or postpone.
Are we being selfish? - might add we do see them all in our garden or hers 2 x a week since ease of lockdown
Thoughts advice please.

V3ra Fri 31-Jul-20 15:12:21

My Dad's river cruise through Germany in August has just been cancelled and put back into next year.

You've offered to look after the children at their home, that's a perfectly reasonable compromise. Shame if it doesn't suit.

B9exchange Fri 31-Jul-20 15:22:02

Not really possible with children under six, you are going to have to pick up after falls, sort out fights etc, obviously you can't do that without going close. If they are anything like our GC they would very quickly work out what they could get away with if you were at a distance!

You are allowed to meet up to 6 outside at the moment from any number of households, more in August, so technically you were exceeding current guidance. Unless you formed a bubble with just the parents of the three children, but that would mean them not seeing anyone else, and that seems very unlikely!

Personally I would do my own risk assessment, and then decide if I wanted to help and was prepared for the slight risk.

Dinahmo Fri 31-Jul-20 15:23:50

I don't understand why you can't watch them in your D's garden. With the predicted weather you would all be out side and could take all the precautions necessary.

TwiceAsNice Fri 31-Jul-20 15:26:42

I would think a river cruise was much more risky

MerylStreep Fri 31-Jul-20 15:54:08

The experts have stated that young children aren't super spreaders
But you are prepared to risk a taxi to the airport? The airport itself, a flight and then transport to the cruise ship and then the cruise.
Your grandchildren are of tiny tiny risk to you whereas the above, mmmm.
I can well understand why your daughter is annoyed.

DiscoDancer1975 Fri 31-Jul-20 15:58:59

I think it’s about how tactile you are. OP is less likely to be hugging other people on the holiday, than her family, who have been mixing with loads of people. Personally, I wouldn’t do either, but that’s just me.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 31-Jul-20 16:09:56

Do what you feel comfortable with.

(The last place I would want to be us on any cruise anywhere)

Shelmiss Fri 31-Jul-20 16:30:02

Hmm I think your daughter has a point.

Your choice obviously but I can see why she’s miffed that you won’t look after the children for a few hours to help out, but will go on a cruise for days with strangers.

Hithere Fri 31-Jul-20 16:53:28

I dont see the logic of your thinking.

You want to see them on the garden.
The fact that they are socializing with too many people is a problem for babysitting but not for this garden visit?

And you would like to hug your gc?

No babysitting but you want to get on a plane next month + cruise.

Sorry, team daughter here.

Btw, the rules that are imposed by the government dont really have to address the real risk of this virus.

6 people meeting is not a good rule. 2 households ok, 3 households or more? Too risky.
6 people could come up to 6 different households.

SuzieHi Fri 31-Jul-20 22:48:10

Thanks for all replies. Yes, I am torn/ being illogical. Want to see family but know they are breaking rules and we feel we are at risk because of this.
Don’t expect we’ll risk the river cruise as rates of infection increasing everywhere again. Somehow seems easier to keep your distance with adults though!

welbeck Fri 31-Jul-20 23:01:54

i was reading that young children who do carry the virus often have a viral load 10 or 100 greater than usually found in nasal/throat area.
where do you and they live Op. look at the map for R rate.

welbeck Fri 31-Jul-20 23:10:08

maddyone Fri 31-Jul-20 23:58:09

We look after our grandchildren now as their parents are key workers and key worker childcare is no longer provided. We also see our other adult children and our other grandchild. You have to decide what to do or not to do. You need to weigh up the risks and make a decision. Personally I wouldn’t want to go a cruise, river or ocean, at the moment.

Teacheranne Sat 01-Aug-20 00:05:16

Be careful when taking risks or you might end up like parts of the NW with rising numbers of cases and new restrictions. I've followed the guidelines to the letter but because other people haven't, I'm now very limited as to what I can do socially.

Franbern Sat 01-Aug-20 03:47:03

Surely, if you daughter are asking for your assistance for 2-3 hours, it is because they really need it. They would be my first priority - but then each to their own.
Agree with your daughter (and comments here), going abroad for a cruise holiday with strangers, a plane flight all okay for you. But to look after your g.children for 2-3 hours not okay (even though you obviously have lots of contact with them each week).
Are you really concerned about health, or just do not want the responsibility of three young children? Silly to say you will oversee them in their garden (what will you do if it is raining?), but not willing to have them at your own home.
Yep, another one here with Team Daughter.

vegansrock Sat 01-Aug-20 04:05:08

As you already see them 2 or 3 times a week I don’t see why looking after them for a couple of hours is more risky, but it’s your decision. I’d look after the children to help out my daughter personally.

BlueSky Sat 01-Aug-20 09:19:02

I bet you wish you never asked SuzieHi! Looks as if Team Daughter wins hands down!

Toadinthehole Sat 01-Aug-20 10:13:12

I can see your point Suzie. I agree with DiscoDancer. We behave very differently around those we love, to the people we wouldn’t know on a cruise. Probably best to shelve it though for now. Hope you manage to work it out.

SuzieHi Sun 02-Aug-20 23:21:59

Thanks again for all replies which are all useful. Still think it’s less risky seeing GC in their own garden/house as they are not touching all of our things in our house/garden - virus can be deposited on surfaces and fabrics and live for hrs/even days. It would be a marathon cleaning session after a visit here. For the record we love having the GC around in normal times, sleepovers, cooking, play sessions. Even looked after all 3, pre Xmas while parents went on a 4 day holiday! Just trying to stay safe and not catch virus from children or d or sil who are mixing a lot- against rules and advice.