How are people living on their own coping?

Like you I live on my own and had a social life before all this. I played darts in League twice a week (being Secretary for one), played ten pin bowling in League, had joined the WI and met friends on a fairly regular basis and loved travelling.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it hard to get motivated at times. I know I'm lucky compared to a lot of people but feel as though my life is passing me by.
Some days I seem to get through a lot (spent about 5 hours a day in garden last 2 days, pruning and sorting). I've made greetings and Christmas cards and bookmarks but don't know what I'll do with them all other days I feel like I've done nothing and feel guilty although I shouldn't.
I have managed to meet a couple of friends for lunch in places we felt safe but only managed to get "home" once so far this year to see my Aunt who is 92 in December and the last contact in the Village where I was born.
The last decade was not a good one for me - my partner of 14 years went out one night and never came home and would never tell me why. I then took voluntary redundancy (to be fair best decision I'd made after 38 years full time) as first my Mum than my sister became ill and I spent some years travelling backwards and forwards (which I don't begrudge) helping them and lost them both within 6 months so had 2 houses to clear on my own.
When the new decade started this year I looked forward to travelling more and spending more time on getting my house in order, then this happened.
So yes although I've always been a positive person I do get down at times. I'm not into zoom or social media but make sure I keep in touch with friends regularly by phone and hope the time will come when we can all meet up again. I don't mind my own company but do miss the social side of my sports. My Mum always said the older you get the quicker the time goes and it seems to fly at the moment.

Craftyone please can I pm you to ask you a question about needle felting? It sounds as though you know a little about it and I'm struggling!

lupin, needle felting is a very easy and satisfying craft. You can buy kits to make lovely things. I bought my 10 year old dgd a kit from world of wool, to make herself a unicorn. The instructions are very comprehensive and everything is supplied. With PnP it is around £25
www.worldofwool.co.uk/products/una-the-unicorn-needle-felting-kit

I can see me being here for the whole 12 days of christmas, so I have planned treats for myself and have bought 2 kits, one is a bear and another is an elephant. I have also bought a very lovely 1000 piece jigsaw. So I am planning ahead, taking control of what could be a depressing time of the year

Hetty - I've just properly read your post and I do agree. Living alone can work really well and for some people living with family, especially in a smallish space, must be very hard. I am impressed by those on their own and people living with others, who have found good ways to be happy.

libra10 - if your relative lives by himself, and your family of three have not formed a bubble with anyone else, then he could be in a bubble with you. If that was the case, then he counts exactly the same as a fourth member of your household, can visit you, even stay overnight, and you can visit him. He can only be in ONE bubble though, cannot have another one with another family,

I found this on line - it is a way to give and receive friendship by phone.
www.ageuk.org.uk/services/befriending-services/sign-up-for-telephone-befriending/
I am not sure if GN offers anything similar. I do feel for those who are struggling and send PurplePoppies and all the others feeling down, a hug.

Applegran, there is often an assumption that those who live alone must be 'suffering' the worst.

It may be true for some (and they really should form a support 'bubble' with others).

I think that those having to put up with a partner or family must be most stressed, though!

The death of your mum is a life changing event. It takes a long time to process it ordinarily, let alone when it’s been complicated by all this COVID rigmarole. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so down, PurplePoppies. I know it’s not much use to you, but I’m sending you a virtual hug ? (does anyone else feel that there should be a better emoji for the word hug?)

Squirrel, I relate to your opener completely. My life was one of constant socialising intertwined with a major renovation project at home. Latter pretty much finished and lunches revamped so that we only meet in pairs rather than our slightly larger groups in order to comply with 'present rules'. I find I'm rising later even though awake for hours. Also, if I sit down, I stay there far longer than I used to. I've a biggish job 'planned' for today but so far it remains in the planning stages. Being on here holds far more appeal!! I'm told that being aware of the problem is halfway to curing it. Sure hope so or I'll be done for in the winter!! Onwards........

Hello to All. I, too, live alone. My daughters don't live locally - and are too far away to visit often, if at all. I have always been independent and try to fill my days with reading, writing short stories and my diary, following current affairs, cooking and housework. My diary would be dead boring without current affairs - we are living through fascinating if very challenging times.
One of the suggestions for making a doable list of things to achieve each day is good. I will try that. I wish I was good at crafts - but am not. I like cooking but don't bake any more so that I keep my weight down. I was horrified to find that a lot of my Summer clothes were too tight, so I am dieting now - I am no longer obese, which is something - but it's going to take aching ages to get down to my ideal weight. It's something to think about and aim for anyway.
I am going to try and add an indoor exercise routine that will not tax my arthritic hip and bulging discs too much
On line learning - I have done that in the recent past and will go back to it.
We are in the medium tier here - rule of 6 and all that. I met 3 of the book group I belong to in the park the other day.
Like others I feel down sometimes, but give myself a good talking to. Thinking of that, I find myself talking out loud, telling myself what to do. I wish I had a cat or two, but live in a flat and it's not suitable.

Just wondering about forming a bubble.

Our area has now entered tier 3 - high risk.

A relation who is 80, generally calls to our home once a week. We are a 3-person household, he lives on his own.

Although he lives alone he needs no support at all, apart from companionship.

Have looked at government website, but entirely sure about whether he would still be allowed to come to our home.

I don't think he can, can someone please clarify?

I lost my partner nearly2 years ago and moved to another area. I had started to join things (U3A, dog walking group, choir and a dance class) all stopped at the moment. I take my dogs out every day to get out in the fresh air, and often meet up with my son and family on a dog walk on Sundays. In the week I potter around, I am not a crafter or a film watcher but find I can fill the day.

I am so impressed by the way so many people are finding ways to enjoy their lives in the pandemic - espcially, but not only, those who live alone. I do lots of things but feel I need a bigger project to focus on - not sure what though I have ideas, one of which is finally sorting out family photos. If I don't do it, no one will, and there are some people my children won't recognise, so I need to add names to the backs of these pictures. I want also to do another more creative project - but am not ready to start that yet. I am guided by the question "when I think about doing this - do I light up and feel energised?'

Well as you're asking, I'm not coping at all.
I lost my mum 5 months ago, I wasn't able to be with her. The funeral was surreal. No wake. I'm unable to grieve.
Almost like I'm in limbo.
I live alone. I'm unable to work.
I rarely see anyone.
Im scared to go to the shops (underlying health issues).
I did travel recently to meet with my siblings to sort through my mums belongings.
I hoped that would help me. It didn't.
The travelling and stress has compounded my physical difficulties and really set me back.
Sorry I've nothing positive to say really ?

I'm finding it really easy and I appreciate my new freedoms. I can spend my time exactly as I want and indulge my moods, after all, nobody will visit.

Yes, I've noticed a lack of motivation on some days but I'm not about to worry over it. On those days, I'm resting and recharging my batteries.

I reject the 'make yourself useful' and/or 'be organised and efficient. Why the hell should I? I'm retired!

My only 'rule' is to go for one or two long walks with the dog every single day. If it rains all day, I go without her (she doesn't 'do' rain). I can feel my spirits lifting and my body relaxing as I walk - it never fails!

ive lived alone for 14 years, so used to my own company. the lockdown has stopped clubs, social meetings, which i miss. flip side is ive the enjoyed quiet, reading ,and meditation.
lockdown has created a vacuum in many lives,we are social creatures after all.

This being alone has been forced upon us (by necessity) and just emphasises the feeling of loneliness whether we are bereaved or divorced/separated. I have to say that I found coping with lockdown a lot easier than when rules were relaxed. I think this is because some people are treating the situation now as a nuisance rather than lifesaving.
I’m finding Zoom, FaceTime and the internet in general a lifeline.

I am loving the restrictions. I live alone with most of my family in different parts of the country and previously was always being harangued/nagged by them to keep busy, do this, do that, so now I can chat with them without all that rubbish, as I can just say "Can't, cos of lockdown", and I've abandoned to 'phone contact all those worn out friendships and things I did not really want to do but thought I should. So now I walk daily in the early morning, painting in oils, am doing a course in linguistics on line, am really enjoying researching late Victorian/Edwardian women's clothing and making some. I am similarly enjoying wearing them - surprisingly comfortable and warm so will do more of this over the winter. My only regular contact is with my DS who visits for dinner once a week and we make an occasion of it. So I plan the meal, take time cooking something different, and dress up as if going out. We find we are talking in more depth than before, sharing thought processes, which keeps your mind and relationship healthy and expanding. Of course there are also the day to day tasks in the home, but I feel more me - so, I am coping very well.

Lockdown has affected me very little. I live alone with my 2 west highland terriers. I have always walked them first thing in the morning, usually 9am. I spend the rest of my day baking, cooking , knitting, very little housework and cleaning. We have a short walk in the afternoon, usually just around the block, I find its amazing how quickly the day passes. I've never had much social life as I used to work shifts and was always happy to spend the few free evenings I had at home.

I'm quite lucky in that I was already solitary by nature. So I've not been too bad so far. But I must admit I'm now getting fed up with not doing some of the things I enjoy, like going to the cinema. (dare not risk it really). And my little local gang that I saw once a week has fallen apart, due to covid, age, illness.
So apart from my family I don't really see anyone.
However, I am pretty good at entertaining myself, - mostly.
There are days when I could lie down and scream.
I'm dreading this winter, especially if they lock us down again.

I have been on my own for nearly three years and, I have to be honest, I'm finding it lonely. The clubs I usually go to have closed down and now I can't see friends. I have two married sons and have bubbled up with one of them. I'm still finding that I'm isolated and am generally fed up. I miss my husband and those that still have one are fortunate to have the company. When I shut the front door, I'm still on my own.

I've been on my own now for just short of twelve months. Prior to lockdown in March I'd started to go out to two friendship groups and had even been on the bus to a nearby coastal town.But lockdown stopped all that.
Life today ìs so different living alone.I started out cleaning cupboards and sorting my late husband's clothes but they're all done now.I read a lot ,watch TV, bake and try to have an hour walk each day.I get up late 9.30 to 10 most days .I have a good sense of humour and friends send me funny memes which I then forward to family and friends.One which amused me was a picture of a Christmas tree and the words "I think the only way to celebrate Christmas this year is to kill the Turkey and invite 30 people to the funeral " I know my husband woukd be proud of the way I'm coping.I also correspond with three GN'S which helps.

Struggling slightly here to feel any motivation at all. I discovered after my husband left, that we had really only ever socialised with his friends, and working in a small family business I didn’t meet anyone there either. I had just started forcing myself to join things in January (my NY resolution), but naturally all that has gone on hold for now.

I do feel less positive than I did in March, partly because I’ve always disliked the winter gloom, but also I suppose because it’s a case of ‘here we go again’.

Still, as others have said, you just have to make the best of it, and get on. There’s always another book! I am also fortunate in many respects, and try to appreciate that.

I live on my own, have my own business and two lovely dogs and a car and beautiful countryside and parks and woods and rivers within a short drive. I choose two every day. I sell online, still publish and design meet my daughter for dog walks most days.
I'm best in the mornings so I get up early and work, read, research do whatever life throws at me then. I tend to potter more in the afternoons before the later dog walk after which it is just cooking our suppers (the dogs like their little bit of fried liver in with their high quality dry).
I'm really quite happy. A film in the evening from my various streaming services or whatever catches my eye. Always record and watch Channel 4 News.
Email quite a lot and messenger send things...get things have a lively interesting Facebook presence and special page for business. I never quite feel I have caught up with things..
feel a bit guilty that I dont mind not seeing as many people or the nag that I should. I so celebrate each day that I am healthy and have no symptoms. Having an anuerysm near my heart and in the past been hospitalised with a neurological functional disease when I was overwhelmed at a theatre by it effects and music...and getting panic attacks if I get out of breath (or is it a form of asthma?) I am very wary of catching Covid-19.
I think we learn to live in the coats that our cloth has made most possible and soon become happy in them. I am lucky I have financial security. And grateful to my mother for leaving me some money.

I have lived alone for many years now, I'm generally happy with my own company but sometimes it takes an effort to get myself motivated!
I moved to the coast a few years ago, and quite honestly it has helped enormously to be able to walk by the sea, at least now that all the daytrippers have gone home! Somehow all that space is good for the soul.
I have a dog so have to get out of bed early every day - it's also a good way to meet others and have a chat. In lockdown my yoga teacher did zoom sessions, and I am a runner which helped me stay sane when I could make myself get out there!
Also I have seen my family and grandsons a fair bit although they live 60 miles away.
Some days I do find it's a struggle to lift the mood and it takes a huge effort to drag myself out of the house. I miss the music and theatre. But like others on here, I try to count my blessings and stay positive. Things can only get better!