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Ode to Coronavirus by Pam Ayres

(21 Posts)
Daddima Sun 01-Nov-20 14:00:48

I'm normally a social girl
I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here
We can't go out the gates
You see, we are the 'oldies' now
We need to stay inside
If they haven't seen us for a while
They'll think we've upped and died
They'll never know the things we did
Before we got this old
There wasn't any Facebook
So not everything was told
We may seem sweet old ladies
Who would never be uncouth
But we grew up in the 60s -
If you only knew the truth!
There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll
The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied
And were quite outrageous flirts
Then we settled down, got married
And turned into someone's mum,
Somebody's wife, then nana,
Who on earth did we become?
We didn't mind the change of pace
Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we're dead
Is like a red rag to a bull!
So here you find me stuck inside
For four weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again
Then I had to close the door!
It didn’t really bother me
I'd while away the hour
I'd bake for all the family
But I've got no flaming flour!
Now Netflix is just wonderful
I like a gutsy thriller
I'm swooning over Idris
Or some random sexy killer
At least I've got a stash of booze
For when I'm being idle
There's wine and whiskey, even gin
If I'm feeling suicidal!
So let's all drink to lockdown
To recovery and health
And hope this awful virus
Doesn't decimate our wealth
We'll all get through the crisis
And be back to join our mates
Just hoping I'm not far too wide
To fit through the flaming gates!

tanith Sun 01-Nov-20 14:10:59

How accurate is that I love Pam Aryes

Stansgran Sun 01-Nov-20 14:12:47

I’d love to hear her read it.

Oopsadaisy4 Sun 01-Nov-20 14:13:38

There’s a brilliant poem by Tom Roberts, called

The Great Revelation

about the Coronavirus

MawB2 Sun 01-Nov-20 14:13:44

Good old Pam Ayres!

Grannynannywanny Sun 01-Nov-20 14:15:28

Daddima thanks for sharing. It’s brilliant. Pam Ayers is so witty

Jane10 Sun 01-Nov-20 14:23:27

Pam Ayres should be the GN poet laureate. Her poem said it all.

Grannybags Sun 01-Nov-20 14:27:24

I enjoyed that and read it in my head with her voice (if you see what I mean!)

EllanVannin Sun 01-Nov-20 14:27:56

Brilliant and typical of this very funny and talented lady.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 01-Nov-20 16:01:10

Yes, I did too, Grannybags very enjoyable.

Sarnia Sun 01-Nov-20 16:08:53

Pam Ayres never fails to hit the spot. Thanks Daddima, I needed a smile.

merlotgran Sun 01-Nov-20 16:13:22

Love Pam Ayres. Spot on as usual.

AGAA4 Sun 01-Nov-20 16:20:35

Pam Ayres makes even awful things sound humorous. She has such a cheeky look when she is reading her poetry. Always makes me smile.

farview Sun 01-Nov-20 16:32:59

Love Pam Ayres...funny,says it as it is...brilliant.

Jane10 Sun 01-Nov-20 17:04:06

Once, years ago I was in a large bookshop and saw a long queue snaking round a corner. I was bored and had time to kill. I was surprised to find Pam Ayres at the end of but she was so nice and friendly I bought the book she was signing anyway. Lovely lady being so cheerful even after a long signing session.

DanniRae Sun 01-Nov-20 17:53:42

I love Pam Ayres, and if the book she was signing was her autobiography, I read it Jane10, and really enjoyed it. In fact I have read it twice I liked it so much.
I also loved the poem about coronavirus and also read it in my head how Pam would say it! grin

Bobbysgirl19 Sun 01-Nov-20 19:41:03

Absolutely brilliant!

Nadateturbe Sun 01-Nov-20 21:01:56

Very good. I love Pam Ayres. Thanks for sharing.

Bathsheba Sun 01-Nov-20 21:28:44

It’s a great poem, absolutely spot on, but not written by Pam Ayres I’m afraid!

Iam64 Sun 01-Nov-20 21:32:23

Brilliant - thanks Daddima

Lucca Mon 02-Nov-20 03:41:49

Thanks Bathsheba !