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Visiting restrictions in Care Homes - how are you coping?

(9 Posts)
ixion Thu 05-Nov-20 12:25:47

I am not in this position, thankfully, those who I loved and cared for in similar surroundings now having passed away over the years.

Yet I find it heartbreaking to watch footage of the confused and frail being denied the touch and presence of a loved one.
'Window visits', 'perspex screens', 'outdoor visits' - in this weather? - surely we can do better than this?
However are you coping emotionally?
I feel for you.
Updated guidance from the Government, with effect from today.

Grannynannywanny Thu 05-Nov-20 13:11:48

It’s a horrendous situation that I’m struggling to cope with. The suggestions I heard on the news last night to facilitate visits have been suggested by people who have no understanding of the situation. Floor to ceiling perspex screens in a designated visiting room? Talking prison style through the screen on a phone?? The care home residents, especially those with dementia, may not want to sit at the screen. Even if they do, it’s physical contact they and their loved ones are craving. What about those who are ill in bed, are they going to be wheeled alongside the viewing screen? Most care home residents are too frail for garden visits going into winter. Even if they are able to sit in the garden it has to be done 2 metres apart and no physical contact.

That leaves us with video calls and I’m thankful for at least to have that even with the upset that can bring. Having said all that the staff are doing their utmost to keep their residents safe and doing a sterling job under very difficult circumstances.

B9exchange Thu 05-Nov-20 13:18:35

The small consolation is that if the relative is nearing the end of their life, you are allowed to visit them. I really hope that means a proper visit, but unfortunately the care homes will take their own decisions on that.

I have every sympathy with the nurse who took her 97 year old out of her care home, not having seen her for four months, to care for her at her house, and was appalled that the police stopped the care, forcibly dragged the 97 year old back to her care home, and sent the daughter and granddaughter back to their own home. All trace of humanity seems to have left this Country.

Gwyneth Thu 05-Nov-20 13:21:26

Very difficult situation for carehomes as they have a duty of care towards all the residents.

Grannynannywanny Thu 05-Nov-20 13:23:55

Sadly B9exchange I fear many will be reaching their end sooner than they otherwise might have due to the isolation and loneliness of being separated from their loved ones. Trying to hold a conversation through a slightly open window and hold the attention of someone with advancing dementia is a truly heartbreaking experience.

Grannynannywanny Thu 05-Nov-20 13:28:27

Gwyneth I completely agree. I can’t heap enough praise on them for the wonderful job they do in caring for all the residents while doing their best to entertain them and keep their spirits up. There is no easy answer to this dilemma. If visitors are allowed in the virus is likely to spread through the care homes.

sodapop Thu 05-Nov-20 14:29:06

I agree Gwyneth the staff are trying to do their best for everyone. The carers are often minimally paid and trained yet expected to deal with a situation highly trained medical staff find difficult.
So many of the Care Homes and staff are to be commended not criticised.

Woodmouse Thu 05-Nov-20 14:41:45

I have watched the video if the family trying to rescue their relative. Quite frankly it is shocking and brought me to tears. I remember my own grandmother in a very similar situation. (She raised me from the time I was three weeks old, so she was essentially my mother). At the end of her life, when dementia had stolen her mind, all we had left were kisses and cuddles. Knowing that people in care homes are being denied this level of contact with their families is inhumane.

Woodmouse Thu 05-Nov-20 14:43:34

I meant to say "tragic and inhumane".