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Webcast funeral

(18 Posts)
suziewoozie Sun 22-Nov-20 22:38:28

Tomorrow is the funeral of DH’s aunt - his mother’s sister and the last of that generation. She was 92 and had a good death. She still lived in the house where DH and his sister were born and was their ‘home base’ for years during their childhood as they were a military family. In normal times we would have gone to the funeral but tomorrow we are logging in to a webcast of the funeral. It feels rather strange of course - I’ve printed a Do not disturb note to put on the front door but other than that, it’s all a bit disconcerting . I hope it goes well - they’re a lovely family ( there’s 3 adult children, DHs cousins) who welcomed me into their family so warmly. I sort of feel I should dress quite smartly and put shoes on. Does that sound a bit odd?

Spinnaker Sun 22-Nov-20 23:12:03

Condolences Susie flowers.
I've been through this a couple of months ago and like you, thought I should dress appropriately. I did and so did DH and we both had more of a sense of "involvement". All felt somewhat surreal but that's the sad times in which we're living at the moment.
Also, remember to turn off the phones (but you've probably thought of this already)

Spinnaker Sun 22-Nov-20 23:22:29

Should read suziewoozie not Susie hmm

suziewoozie Sun 22-Nov-20 23:26:21

Thanks Spinnaker I hadn’t thought of the phones at all - thank you so much for that. And thanks for your comment about dressing appropriately - I will.

SueDonim Sun 22-Nov-20 23:44:59

flowers Suziewoozie.

We attended the online funeral of dh’s oldest friend, way back in May. We dressed as we would have, had we been attending in person. Afterwards, we cracked open a glass of fizz with which to toast him, as I have no doubt would have happened in real life. It was all surprisingly touching.

suziewoozie Mon 23-Nov-20 08:09:56

Thank you Sue Again really helpful. I’ll miss the wake very much - all that sharing of lovely memories - the laughter dissolving into tears and the tears turning to helpless laughter. We’ll ring DH’s sister afterwards to have a substitute telephone wake.

Iam64 Mon 23-Nov-20 08:48:14

Good ideas here about dressing as you would have done if you'd been attending, as well as putting some food and a glass of something together for after the service.
We had four significant bereavements in the past year, the last one just before the virus arrived and changed everything. Hope it goes ok suzie

Alegrias2 Mon 23-Nov-20 09:14:35

I think dressing as you would have for the event is a very respectful thing to do, and you should go ahead. Hope it all goes OK suzie flowers

Nortsat Mon 23-Nov-20 09:30:03

Suzie, sincere condolences on the loss of your aunt.
I fully understand and agree with dressing appropriately for the funeral.
Without being too facile, I dressed in smart work clothes and shoes for a couple of important work Zoom meetings.
I can’t imagine attending a webcast funeral in my slippers.
You are dressing appropriately for your aunt and showing respect to her memory.

I think others suggestions about some food and a glass of something to raise a toast afterwards are lovely ideas.
I hope it all goes well. ?

SueDonim Mon 23-Nov-20 15:09:31

Yes, we missed the craic afterwards, Suziewoozie. We did talk to our friend’s daughter before the funeral and told her some stories she hadn’t heard before, which she loved. Friend and Dh were in the Navy together - nuff said! grin

There is to be a memorial service when all this palaver is over, which is something.

midgey Mon 23-Nov-20 19:44:50

Have you thought of having a zoom wake? This is what we did after my husband’s service, we were able to chat about him and have a laugh, it helps to have some photos as well. Later we had a zoom supper and a toast. It helped.

suziewoozie Tue 24-Nov-20 11:56:44

It was lovely - the vicar knew her well and his personal tribute to her was very moving. I cried when the family walked in behind the coffin - masked and socially distanced and so dignified. The final song was ‘Simply the Best’.
Midgey that would have been nice but the family up there aren’t into Zoom. We rang DH’s sister afterwards for a bit of a chat and had a glass of fizzy in the evening.

SueDonim Tue 24-Nov-20 13:25:28

I’m glad it went as well as it could in the circumstances. What times we live in! flowers

Alegrias2 Tue 24-Nov-20 13:45:18

flowers suziewoozie

suziewoozie Tue 24-Nov-20 14:05:27

Tbh I do feel really grateful that we could at least benefit from the technology - I feel the same about Zoom, Facetime , Skype etc.

annodomini Tue 24-Nov-20 15:30:54

I 'attended' a Zoom memorial for my cousin. She had relatives all over the globe, one of whom - a grandson - organised the whole affair from USA. 85 people, friends and relatives logged in to the ceremony and appreciated the depth of affection for my cousin shown by family members on at least three continents.

suziewoozie Tue 24-Nov-20 15:42:09

That’s really lovely anno

Daddima Tue 24-Nov-20 15:59:21

I’m hoping that streamed services of all kinds will continue post Covid. I’ve loved our streamed Mass on Sundays, and have managed to view a couple of funeral services.
And, talking of appropriate dress, I had to dash to dry my hair before Mass last Sunday!