Informal childcare

What a terrible predicament for you OP. What does your own day to day routine look like? Everyone has their own comfort level within the guidelines. If your DH has stringently shielded and the GC would be the main source of potential infection then I would err on the side of caution.
Hopefully it won’t be forever and the vaccine will help restore some semblance of normality over the coming year.

Bluecat puts it so well;
However inconvenient it might be for people's adult children to find childcare, it's better than living with the grief of losing one or both parents and the guilt of wondering how they were infected.

The school is obviously taking every precaution and young school age children like your dgc have been found not to be susceptible to covid. You do not say either of you are classed as vulnerable so why is he suddenly worried after all this time? I personally know a fit 70 yr old who had covid and just lost a sense of taste and felt off-colour for a week, but also an elderly relative - nineties- who caught covid while ill (in hospital) and died. Only the two of you can assess your risk. Presumably you both go shopping, maybe see family, have your hair cut, go to the dentist, any of which could also be a risk. Your DH’s comments come after you have been at home for 2 weeks. Do you even remotely suspect he might prefer you to be at home with him than looking after the children? Why does he want you to talk to your son instead of both of you talking to him (although you say ‘my son’ so I wondered if your DH is his stepfather)? It concerns me that you say babysitting is keeping you sane but he wants you to give it up. Your mental health is as important as physical health, does your DH know how important babysitting is to you? Your son would also be in a difficult position if you suddenly withdrew childcare. January is not very far away, you should give them reasonable notice. Also please don’t underestimate what you do for them, you don’t provide ‘informal’ childcare, you provide invaluable and official childcare. I think there is a more detailed discussion to be had with your DH before you even consider discussing this with your son.

I usually have my four year old GS one day a week, he's at nursery the other days. His year group were all sent home to isolate for two weeks after two staff members tested positive and I didn't have him during that time.

I work in a supermarket and I swing between thinking I'm the bigger risk to him and my DD, and that he is the bigger risk to us (DD and I are both single, she is working from home though she sees friends within the tier guidelines).

I will be having him again after Christmas. He'll start school in September and this time is so very precious.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluecat So sorry for the loss of your friend ? thank you for your comment

welbeck

one's husband is utterly irreplaceable.
if i still could i would not be gambling with his health.
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9067507/Covid-19-THREE-times-deadly-flu-hospitalised-patients.html

???

Bbbface.....I couldn’t look after them during the first lockdown in March as it wasn’t allowed and my daughter in law is a lecturer so they didn’t need me during the summer holidays.......I also had to isolate as was supposed to have an operation but it was cancelled.....I think the teacher contracting the virus and the whole of the early years classes closing and the rise again in cases has made my husband reconsider our safety......I totally get his concerns ?

Nemosmum. I do agree with everything you said. Usually if an elderly person gets flu they can sometimes become so ill then get pneumonia and have to be hospitalised.

Lizbethann55, being 'fit and well' is not much help should you become infected. We start to gradually lose our effective count of T cells in our 30s!

The way I see it is, if I isolate now, I'll still be around for my grandchildren in the future - hopefully.

If it's usually been just one day a week, I'm sure that other arrangements can be made.

I think it's very unfair to expect your husband to continue worrying about it.

When the pandemic is over, or at least minimalised, you could resume the minding.

My friend was cremated yesterday. She died of Covid, after a week in a coma on a ventilator. She was 65. Her children and grandchildren are heartbroken.

It's not unreasonable to fear the virus if you are over 60. In fact, the risk of serious consequences starts to rise when you're over 50. Obviously the older you are, the greater the risk, but you don't have to be in your 80s to be at serious risk of death or long term damage to your health.

However inconvenient it might be for people's adult children to find childcare, it's better than living with the grief of losing one or both parents and the guilt of wondering how they were infected.

Could you take maximum precautions (constant hand washing, even masks ; make some child friendly ones that are fun), & provide child care at the home of your son?

Covid-19 is THREE times as deadly as the flu: Almost 17% of hospitalised coronavirus patients die of the disease - dwarfing flu's 5.8% death rate

resume from the linked article above.

one's husband is utterly irreplaceable.
if i still could i would not be gambling with his health.
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-9067507/Covid-19-THREE-times-deadly-flu-hospitalised-patients.html

Have a Zoom family meeting. Let everyone involved be in the discussion and a solution will emerge - you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Jillybird From a paper in Nature: "Children’s ability to neutralize the virus might also be linked to the fact that they have a strong innate immune response from birth, says Alasdair Munro, who studies paediatric infectious diseases at University Hospital Southampton, UK. “There’s been some suggestion that the rapidity and scale of their innate immune response might be protective against the initiation of infection,” he says. But this effect is difficult to study, and raises the question of why it isn’t seen with other viruses that can cause severe disease in children, he says.
Other factors
Children are also the main reservoir for seasonal coronaviruses that cause the common cold. Some researchers have suggested that antibodies for these coronaviruses might confer some protection against SARS-CoV-2, but the evidence is mixed says Munro.
Meanwhile, there is evidence that when children are exposed to the virus, they receive a smaller dose than adults, because their noses contain fewer ACE2 receptors, which the virus uses to gain access to cells. This might also explain why COVID-19 is less prevalent in children than in adults, say researchers.
doi: doi.org/10.1038/d41586-020-03496-7

We help with childcare with our two DGC. The 5 year old started school in September. The 2 year old is at nursery. We didn't see them at all during LD1. They were both in nursery part time and their parents each had a day a week off. Since September we do the school run twice a week and look after the 2 year old one day a fortnight. I am 65 and my DH is almost 68. We are both fit and well and wouldn't dream of stopping having our DGS. It would cause big problems financially and besides which, we would really miss him. He is funny and loving and so adorable. These early years go so fast and cannot be reclaimed in the future.

If it is this unlikely to get the virus from a child, how come numbers are skyrocketing?

As I understand it is secondary age children where it is rocketing and being passed on not younger children

If it is this unlikely to get the virus from a child, how come numbers are skyrocketing?

Why are you so concerned now? Have you been doing childcare throughout the pandemic and only now are having concerns. There was anissue with the school but that has been fully addressed . Do you go shopping, as seems to me you have a higher risk of transferring the virus by going out amongst strangers than you do from your grandson if you keep practising the handcleansing, no cuddling. I would continue.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Equally you or your DH could contract Covid - and other infections- going about your daily life. I will continue looking after my DGCs (4&2) and collecting the eldest from school. Hands, face and space and we all wash hands as soon as we come in the house

The only thing you can do here is to be honest. Tell your son that his father is worried about contracting Covid19 through the grandchildren, I don't suppose you can persuade your husband to discuss it with your son.

Say that you feel forced by your husband's worries to not look after your grandchildren until you have both been vaccinated.

That surely cannot be far off.

Granny59 my experience for what it's worth:
I'm 63 and have been childminding (professionally) throughout.
I can well understand and sympathise with your concerns, I've had wobbles myself!

I operate a doorstep drop off and pick up, no adults enter my home.
I wash the children's hands as soon as they arrive, and frequently throughout the day.
We spend as much time as possible in the fresh air as this will disperse the virus particles: walk, garden or park, open the windows.
These are all our official guidelines.

I care for children from six families.
Two of the minded children have had time off this term as their families had positive cases.
We've had no cases here.

You can only do what you and your husband are both comfortable with, but the risk from young children is low.