Gransnet forums


Discussing the rules with the over 80's

(19 Posts)
Shandy57 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:35:09

Hello all, I speak to my widowed 83 year old aunt on the IOW most days to check she's OK. She does have a good neighbour who looks out for her, but she isn't able to help her at the moment as she is recovering from Covid.

My aunt has just asked me if it's true she should be wearing her mask indoors.

I asked her where she heard this, and she said she keeps missing the Prime Ministers update, and thought it had been said on there.

I told her she definitely didn't have to wear a mask inside her own house, where she lives alone.

I feel upset she's been worrying about this, I think there is too much reliance on the internet which she doesn't use.

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 09-Jan-21 17:43:07

It must be very worrying for you. So much information is online which not everyone can access. During the first lockdown any government press conferences were usually at same time and place. Now they often seem a bit erratic.
I can see where the confusion over masks came, maybe the guidance over Christmas gatherings.?
I wonder if AgeUK have a leaflet that could be sent to her? They do have a helpline that both of you could use. Her local council will also have volunteers etc.

Jaxjacky Sat 09-Jan-21 17:46:36

Maybe you could give her a call after any government statements to let her know of any changes, or, if there aren’t any?

janeainsworth Sat 09-Jan-21 17:49:45

Well I think you’re making a few assumptions there, Shandy. There are plenty of Gransnetters who are over 80, and at least one over 90 <waves to Bijou>, who not only use the Internet but are perfectly capable of interpreting the ever-changing guidelines for themselves.

I think your question should be how you can make your aunt aware of the rules and guidelines. I think you’re doing all you can by regularly phoning her.
Perhaps councils could have phone help-lines for people who don’t use the internet?
I know our council updates its website very promptly when the guidance changes, so they’re probably on the ball with a helpline too.
I think guidance was sent out to households in the post in the early days of the pandemic but it’s probably not realistic to do that every time the guidance changes.

janeainsworth Sat 09-Jan-21 17:50:28

Crossed posts dorset

PECS Sat 09-Jan-21 17:55:17

Iwas thinking the same re over close pals in Tooting, who have just had their 1st vaccine are very astute ..might be a bit creaky physically but not all 80+ are technophobes!

Locally there is a Covid help group number which people can call..for any assistance from shopping to a lift to the doctor.. I think that every area has this group of volunteers. Certainly worth checking out as they could also reassure anyone, unsuprisingly, a little confued by the "guidance".

ElaineI Sat 09-Jan-21 18:35:44

My Mum is 85 and definitely a technophobe. She could have benefited from an iPad years ago but totally refused and now she is registered blind so can barely use the TV. She is now very muddled with all the restrictions. When I was in to check her fridge and see she was ok (out of date food etc), her neighbour came right into the house with eggs she had asked her to buy. Neighbour is very good to her but was not wearing a mask and they were side by side exchanging money from her purse. She already had 6 eggs to use up just in date so did not need eggs at all. The neighbour helps other people too and I don't feel safe myself now. DD has suggested I wear a mask and keep distance when I go there. I am carer for her though it's more for food checking, and sorting household things at the moment.

BlueSky Sat 09-Jan-21 19:03:02

Not being computer literate is definitely a big handicap for some older people. Luckily quite a few over 80 are, because it’s really getting to the stage where you will be very limited in every aspect of daily life.

Shandy57 Sat 09-Jan-21 20:44:14

Thank you for all your replies, I think I will try and time my calls after the announcements and discreetly discuss them with her.

I understand your concern ElaineI - my aunt's neighbour who looks out/after her told her she had Covid last Sunday, and I've been on tenterhooks all week, I didn't know if she wore a mask when she came in. She had bought my aunt some soup just the day before. My aunt's friend who is of similar age went to collect her prescription for her from Boots today, but the queue was so long and she got so cold she gave up. It's all so awful.

welbeck Sat 09-Jan-21 20:54:51

is it not possible to get prescriptions delivered to disabled people, it is here, has been for years.
elderly people might be safer with volunteers fetching supplies s they will follow correct protocol, rather than random neighbours some of whom sound quite muddled in their safety precautions.
as to information, could your aunt listen to the radio. local radio, LBC, BBC Radio 5 live, etc all have good phone-in sessions with experts which are very informative.
Elaine, could you get/have delivered shopping for your mum, so only one person is coming in. and i think you should wear a mask in her house, as well as washing hands on entry.

annsixty Sat 09-Jan-21 22:11:18

I am 83 and understand everything Covid related, am fine with most technology, bank online, shop online and can manage my affairs perfectly well so do not put us all in the same box.
However I do appreciate that some older people are scared by technology.
It is up to families to ensure and enable their older relatives to keep up with the times.
There are few of my friends who are not capable, just one or two who have dug their heads in the sand, preferring to let their children handle their affairs.

kircubbin2000 Sat 09-Jan-21 22:24:25

Yes I have a friend like that who refuses to use the internet. She asked me to look for vitamins onlin and buy them for her and has also asked me to search for local info. I didn't do that as she has 2 children who could easily help her but I did buy the vitamins.

Shandy57 Sun 10-Jan-21 13:55:10

That's it annsixty, my aunt is a technophobe. She's even against me paying for the company to come to enable her 'smart tv'. I tried on the phone to help her put her broadband password in, and she became like a small frightened child, she couldn't even find the arrow buttons on her remote. She wasn't able to have children, but luckily does have many friends at church, and her wonderful neighbour.

Shandy57 Sat 16-Jan-21 11:54:54

I've just seen the tv covid advert with the scientific advisor, and he says

'cover your face indoors'

I'm glad I know where she got it from now!

Riverwalk Sat 16-Jan-21 12:18:43

I haven't seen the advert but surely he doesn't mean inside your own home? Unless having necessary visitors.

I'm assuming it refers to in a shop, office, GP practice, etc.

lemsip Sat 16-Jan-21 12:24:17

Well, The prime minister meant when inside shops etc......

it does not, of course mean inside your own home

Sparklefizz Sat 16-Jan-21 13:11:04

I wore a mask inside my own home when the boiler engineer had to come in to do a service.

lemsip Sun 17-Jan-21 13:49:19

yes I put a mask on when opening the door to delivery driver for a parcel then step back and masked driver stays back and puts parcel on step and takes his photo of it and leaves .

Shandy57 Sun 17-Jan-21 18:10:21

I've spoken to her about the tv advert now and she is happier about it, she's just become so frightened because her neighbour contracted it. She was booked in for her first vax on 23 December and didn't go for a nonsensical reason and was added to a waiting list. I'm pleased to say she has now been invited again, next Thursday smile