Friendship vs vaccination

I still can’t stand the people that in the midst of a pandemic to save lives decide not to have a vaccine.
We have had so many foreign people getting into the UK bringing in diseases that was once wiped out and now we will have non vaccinaters making this more of a dangerous world for our children and grandchildren.
Look at the statistics of Asian countries that wear masks as a necessary piece of kit.
They don’t have anywhere near the deaths that we do.
Our society is under the illusion that we always be saved. We are getting soft in the UK and take our NHS for granted.
I hope that these people who have no health reasons not to take the vaccine regret there choice , call me cruel but they are nothing less than killers.

These restrictions have caused lots of tensions between friends and family members. Even more than Brexit in my experience - and that's saying something. If I could possibly help it, I wouldn't let either issue lead to estrangement with my friends and relatives. But it takes two to tango - and to maintain loving and accepting relationships.

I do not expect others to keep me safe and am willing to take my chances . I know what to do, should I get Covid, in order to minimize its severity. I will not take the vaccine; have only taken the flu shot once and see no need for any repeats, even though I am getting older. I do not understand why healthy people are not willing to trust their immune system. And, just like I want anyone to have the freedom to be vaccinated if that makes them feel better, I want others to be able to decline without being made to feel like bad people for that decision. Sadly, declining the vaccine will likely mean I can never fly back to Holland again (from the U.S. where fortunately we do not live under lockdowns, fines and curfews, yet!) to see my elderly siblings and their families. It is not right to be coerced into taking a vaccine that is not yet proven safe in the long run, as in years from now . Only time will tell. It may be OK for the elderly, but it is unconscionable to make it mandatory for healthy and younger people, let alone children who have decades of living ahead of them and who may get to experience adverse effects in the future.

I know someone who is not having the vaccine because she has poor health and has also had reactions to medications in the past.
She has read of serious effects and even people dying, apparently brought about by the vaccine, and she does not want to take the risk.

I think the worst aspect of this is that it really changes our opinion of our friend. I'm not so friendly now - how can I be, when I see her as obstinate, deluded, selfish, antisocial and potentially contaminated?

I have two daughters, one is for vaccination the other is against. I have told them both not to ask me if I’m having it as I know one of them will be upset.

I hate to think how many friendships have been lost over covid vaccinations. I've always felt anti vaxers are selfish. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Maybe talk to her normally and see where the land lies and stay off the covid subject.

What proof do we have that people who tell us “I’ve had my vaccine” actually have had it. They most likely have, but I’m just trying to point out, “the possibility” that perhaps they haven’t! so how would we know once we get back to our “normal day to day lives” are we going to ask for proof ( if they actually go ahead with vaccine passports) are we going to have to carry these around with us to prove to our friends and family, “we’re jabbed” There are more people who worry about getting Covid than worry about passing it on, there are people who worry about getting the vaccine more than getting Covid, maybe because some people are listening to friends or colleagues who’ve had it and not even known, or it’s been mild, these same people have seen the worst scenarios, and for some reason their fear of “the unknown” in relation to the vaccine, is still greater than their fear of catching Covid. Why is that? we don’t really know? we have opinions, but not facts to assimilate another persons fear.
Most of these people have one thing in common “pride” they don’t want to admit their fear, or it’s easier to hide your fear as rationalising, or defend your fear of “the unknown” as nearly everyone has experienced fear of the unknown e.g. childbirth, exams, operations etc.
Your friend might be giving the impression it’s because “she doesn’t like to be told what to do” or she might really fear “the unknown” consequences (which might never happen) from taking the jab.
Both my friend and I, stated at the beginning we both didn’t want to take it, I quote “didn’t want to” .... but my job means I morally had to, so I did. So I’ve taken something that I didn’t want to, I’m not over the moon about it, or feel I’m a “better person” or “less selfish” than my friend who still hasn’t taken it. I don’t donate blood, I haven’t got a donor card, and there’s a heck of a lot of people in the world dying because I’m not “doing my bit” in these situations, which I totally empathise with.
So, until my friend decides what SHE wants to do with her body and her life, I will be her friend. I will invite her over for tea, go with her to whatever coffee shop lets us BOTH in, and when I see her and before I leave her, I will hug her..... she might be foolish, she might for what the future might prove to be, “the wise one”... but whatever and however our lives end, it will end as friends.

A lot of questions need to be answered when, hopefully, the virus is less of a risk to us all. Very difficult to get the response right at first when virus was such an unknown quantity and hit us all so hard. I have always been concerned about the many seriously ill people waiting for urgent life saving treatment. I thought the urgent construction of the Nightingale hospitals was to free up the existing beds for such cases but no, this doesn't appear to have happened....most Nightingale hospitals appear to be under used, not enough staff it seems. In my opinion beds, wards and staffing have been cut to the bone in the past leaving us totally ill equipped to treat a Pandemic leaving these urgent Cancer patients, for example, untreated. I am not sure that the priority has always been correct.
Heartbreaking as these cases are it doesn't alter the fact that vacination is not compulsory and neither is it a total panacea. Mutations will appear and the vaccine will have to be tweaked to keep up and we will have to live with this virus at some level for a very long time I fear. These people waiting for urgent treatment have to be prioritised at some point, and soon.

Patsie

I have a friend who I've known for many years. We get on very well although our views on many subjects are completely opposite. She can be very stubborn and has refused to have the vaccination although she has no medical or religious reasons. She just doesn't like to be told what to do. We had a rather heated discussion about it, at a distance, obviously, and it seems to have cast a cloud over our friendship. I know it is absolutely her choice, but I find it a bit selfish. Why do I feel so bad about the way I feel and how it's affected our friendship. Has anyone else had this dilemma.

Limit you time with irrational people.
No one is telling her what to do.
She can have the vaccination or not.
You have to aks why the hell not?

Read Bluecats heartbreaking post.
I would be beside myself if I were her and this is what lm talking about.

Some of our parents and grandparents went through wars. Suffered unbelievable fear and hardship. This is a vaccine not a year in the trenches.
Why are some people determined to stay apart from the whole good of the nation?
If this happened in 1944 we would all be in an awful state still waiting for vaccines.
I’m proud of our achievements in rolling out the vaccine and proud to have had my vaccine delivered to me by a Lieutenant Commander from the British Navy working alongside the NHS for the purpose of helping to get the vaccine to as many people as possible.
If it’s a case of conflicting illness l understand but people who won’t be told what to do are pathetic and morally wrong.
That’s not the kind of friend I want beside me.

Everyone I know is mad for it so no falling out. Just wish my DD would have given my GD her childhood vaccinations as she did my GS. She’s 5 and hasn’t had them yet ? DD says she’s going to take her but when the pandemic started she didn’t want to. I guess there’s still time. She gets cross if I try to discuss it with her.

So do I Delila. ( I had my vaccination in January).

Yes, it would be very desirable if everyone who is able would take the vaccine offered, but it is not compulsory and we, supposedly, live in a free society so it is their choice even if we heartily disagree with their reasoning.

I agree with you Betty18.

Because this is a matter of the good of the majority and not merely a personal option. Given that a proportion of the population have health issues which mean they can’t be vaccinated, we do need the rest of us to have it.

I can't honestly believe the majority of views on here why should it matter if she gets vaccinated or not ,how is it affecting anyone but her ,if I thought a friend could fall out with me over my own personal views I'd have to think that she wasn't a great friend anyway !

I was vaccinated 2 weeks ago and like your friend I was adamant I wasn't going to go. Mainly because I'm claustrophobic and i didn't think I could cope. My OH came with me because he knew I wouldn't be fit to drive after it. I was in and out in 9 minutes, he timed it,but I was in a state so much that the nurse asked if I was asthmatic - just the beginnings of a panic attack. Could your friend be similarly afflicted. I only spoke to my DH about it because he is also claustrophobic and knew I would freak but I didn't tell any of my friends. People are different and we need to give each other some space and cut some a break.

Being vaccinated not only reduces my own chance of serious illness but appears to make me less likely to infect others if I do contract COVID. So I would avoid like the plague anyone, friend or not, who refuses to have the vaccine if they can have it. Otherwise any kind of normal life goes on being impossible.

Perhaps if they were on their death beds taking their last breath they might think
“If only”

Maybe the key word here is choice, and we are fortunate to live in a society where we still have this. I too have a friend that won’t have the vaccine because she doesn’t know what is in it.
I have known her for 45 years, and she has questioned me in the past why don’t you take the pill.? And latterly HRT. My answer, “I don’t know what is in it”
We agree to disagree and life goes on.

I had the vaccine yesterday and had to have a doctor attend and approve it for me due to a rare immune system response that I have to any that touches me.
I had a rough night last night but nothing any worse than any one else has had in fact less than some of the worse side effects that other people have had.
When l think of the amount of chemotherapy that my mother lived on and the awful sickness and many other horrible side effects that she suffered just to stay alive for many years l get angry about these selfish people antivaxers.
I had told my mum that if ever I get the type of cancer that she had l didn’t know that I could be as strong as she was to take all of the drugs necessary to keep her alive.
These antivaxers should be made to sign a declaration not to be put before others and go to the back of the queue for treatment.
People who need treatment and are fighting for their lives with cancer and other serious conditions need to have treatment and care before the idiots that take life for granted.
I have excluded my neighbour from my life because of her ignorance expecting me to mix with her as the numbers were rising.
I have no time or tolerance for ignorance.
If she was my friend l would put her on hold until she was vaccinated and tell her so.

Hi, I have a antivaxer friend, posts on social media. She is a good friend that I have known for most of my life. I felt very exasperated over the posts she was putting on social media, it even made me doubt the vaccine. An ex nurse too. I feel every one is entitled to their own opinion and respect that and I actually blocked her posts, we have spoken and she respects my thoughts on the subject and I don't think our friendship has been affected, it does concern me she isn't getting vaccinated but that's her choice...

Keep friends we all need them especially at the moment but if the conversation comes up again just say you hope enough of your friends are public-spirited enough to have the vac and she can sit under their umbrella when it is all over.
I can remember this been said by a nurse during a heated discussion about vaccines in an antenatal class many years ago. Quite a few changed their minds.

Some people just do not like to be told what to do when it suits them, ask her why she drives on the left side of the road.