Friendship vs vaccination

My son, who is in his thirties, told me he will not have the vaccine because it hasn’t been tested properly. He’s a secondary school teacher, and has a young family. He’s always coming out with stuff like this that he reads somewhere. I told him it was rubbish! I’m not going to fall out with him about it, it’s up to him I guess. But I can’t understand where he’s getting this stuff from, or why he believes that the NHS has become involved in a conspiracy to poison the population!

I don’t think it’s worth falling out over. I can only assume that some people don’t understand the severity of Covid infections. I was very relieved to get the amount of protection provided by the first shot, and I assumed everyone would feel the same!

I have, husband hasn’t. What’s the problem?

I have/had a friend like this and then suddenly during lockdown I had had enough and our friendship has ceased I think and I am so relieved.

I think two things. Point one, what else will your friend not be doing because they don't like being told what to do? handwashing? distancing? taking a test if needed? because if that is the reason then I would be concerned that she would be doing other risky things.
Point two (and this is sad) I think that, if you are like me, your friendship has already changed in a way that won't change back. Your heart and your feelings have already been affected and probabaly hers too.

Online

I don’t know anyone who has turned it down, but my Son in law is not keen, even though he has a heart condition. I guess he will have it as he will want to travel for work when it is legal,
If I had a close friend who refused it, I would be refusing to go near her, just maintain contact line.

I have a friend who is refusing it and believes a lot of the crackpot stuff she sees on twitter - that it wasn't properly tested, or it's a big scientific experiment on the population etc. And all the things about people dying after having the vaccine (with thousands of people having it, mostly elderly, there's bound to be a few who will die within a few days of having it. They'd have died anyway!) But she won't see sense. It annoys the hell out of me, I must admit. I try to avoid the topic with her now.

I have this situation too. It is making me unhappy because, as I see it, you can chance the vaccine or you can chance dying from Covid. My friend 'doesn't like taking any medication'. Neither do I, but it seems there are those who will rely on others willing to go ahead and have the jab, in the hope that the majority will keep them safe. I think it is selfish - particularly as I have two vulnerable family members that I have been extremely worried about all through this time. If my friend wants to come and visit I fear the answer will be no - and that will be the end of a lifelong friendship as she won't understand.

If people had refused vaccine years ago we would be awash with polio,diphtheria, measles etc then think what a state we would be in do they want iron lungs to make a comeback !

It’s called choice I believe. In Jan I decided I wasn’t going to fall out with Covidiots. It’s personal choice and probably fear based if you are not comfortable. We live in Spain slow roll out.... my friends in Gibraltar have been mainly vaccinated and not one of them have said that they don’t want to meet me. And I haven’t mentioned if I’ll have it or not as that’s my choice. Let people do what they want we have enough restrictions

It comes down to respect.
You have to respect her choice, she has to respect yours.
Doesn't matter that it's in hers and everyone else's best interests to have the vaccine- the more you keep banging on about it, the more she will dig her heels in and refuse to budge - even though she knows she really is in the wrong!
You could always have the last word and tell her that you still think she is wrong, but you are no longer going to talk about it . Time will tell .

My friend has also refused the vaccine. I think she'll change her mind, though, as it may limit her ability to travel to her holiday home. I've clearly stated my views - and wait for her to catch up with the rest of us!

Meanwhile, I wear a mask when I walk with her and she can't enter my house, lockdown or not, for the foreseeable!

My family and friends are all pro vaccine. I’d be reluctant to spend time indoors with someone who refused the vaccine and definitely maintain the distance outdoors.
I accept it’s personal choice and that when restaurants/theatres open up again, we won’t know if people around us had the jab. It’s my choice whether I’d go to the dentist/hair salon etc if I knew the staff refused the vaccine.

If a friend said that she was refusing the vaccine, I would think “Well, that’s up to her. If she gets ill, that’s her choice.”

I would tell her that she was being foolish, and would keep well socially distanced from her.

It’s not an issue I have come across.

It's our right not to accept a vaccine - and thank goodness we have a choice
- but like others I'd be more inclined to argue if she was influencing others.

Haha that’s big of you jenniferecckes we re not a dying breed there are very many of us nearly as many as you guys, probably more now

I have one friend I don’t class her as close although we ve known each other since school days who is so anti establishment about anything that she sees as ‘ being told what to do’ that she really grates on me She wouldn’t even wear a mask until she realised she couldn’t get in for lunch last summer and reluctantly pulled her scarf up over her mouth
She gives me the pip

Everyone I know is incredibly happy to have either already had the vaccine or who is eagerly awaiting their turn.

If I had a friend who was reluctant I would listen to what they had to say and then try to reassure them.

I like to think I wouldn’t fall out with them about it.

I have friends who voted to remain in the EU and we are still friends!

I’d make it clear that I had no intention of meeting up with someone that wasn’t prepared to safeguard themselves and others and that even when restrictions are lifted the friendship would have to remain a socially distanced one. I do have an internet chum that is refusing the vaccine so he shall remain just that. A future planned meet up (with other people in our group I hasten to add) will never happen.

We have lost control of a lot of our way of life at the moment so maybe this is one way your friend has of regaining a bit of control Patsie

I think you just have to agree to disagree.
And talk of other things.
And hope she doesn’t catch covid.

i couldn't be friends with someone who had such fundamentally different values.
it feels like a moral issue. i think i'd be compromising my own self by keeping close company with such one.
i would be polite but distant.
certainly no sharing of feelings, or anything deep, important, personal.
in short, an acquaintance but not a friend.

DH and I have just had a conversation about this because of the actions of antivaxxers as reported on the local news.

If an individual chooses not to have the vaccine, although I think they're wrong, it is their choice. It's one of those differences of opinion that often occur between friends - like politics.

However, those who spread false information to stop other people having the vaccine or taking the appropriate precautions, are dangerous.

DH said much as I think - it's up to individuals if they want to ignore the facts, but if they spread rumours and encourage others to refuse the vaccine they should be told that they won't be treated if they get ill (I expect they would be, of course). Sounds harsh, I know, but they're essentially committing manslaughter.

I agree. Covid has made us all very judgemental. You have to remember that the vaccine is a choice and your friend is free to make her choice.
I have a friend who doesn't share my opinions about lots of things.
Find the common ground you had before Covid.
If someone told you you would lose a friend due to a pandemic, and just for disagreeing, you would have thought they were crazy.
Find all those other things you used to talk about and forget the vaccine. It shouldn't define who you are.

The vaccine is an emotive issue at the moment as we are all desperate to live a more normal life and anyone choosing not to have it feels as though they are sabotaging this.
Friends make choices that we may not agree with and vice versa and this is just one of those. Don't let it spoil a good friendship.