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Anyone else feel like this?

(20 Posts)
aonk Fri 21-May-21 14:56:43

Now that the restrictions are easing I’m really pleased to have more opportunities to go out and see people and get back to normal. I follow guidelines and can honestly say that I’m comfortable going out and mixing with others. I’m no longer so fearful of covid. My problem is the after effects of lockdown. I’m nervous of certain things that never bothered me before.For example I’ve been invited to a small daytime party in June about an hour’s drive from my home. I’m worried already because I’m scared of the drive. I’ve never been a confident driver but this is ridiculous! I’m also nervous when out walking in case I fall. There’s no medical reason for this. I get flustered if there are too many things going on at once. How can I overcome this anxiety which was never there before covid?

EllanVannin Fri 21-May-21 15:16:38

It's like convalescing after a long illness then going out for the first time. A horrible feeling of overall fear and uncertainty about everything around you. It'll pass eventually but will take that bit longer if you're getting on in years.

Redhead56 Fri 21-May-21 15:17:37

You are not alone I have really noticed how anxious I have been lately. Especially when I go out I am happy to have had vaccinations. I still take all the precautions but somehow I know I am lacking in confidence which is not me at all.
I have talked about this with my friends I only drive where I know and don’t do motorways. I am ok with this it’s just the way I am these days.
I have to take my DH for minor op next month. It’s only about five miles away but you would think it’s an epic journey!
I honestly think it’s because we have all been protecting ourselves. Its took a bit of our confidence away we have been living insulated lives for over a year.
I think once we get back into normal living it will get better.

JaneJudge Fri 21-May-21 15:20:46

I think a lot of people of all ages feel like this, so try not to worry too much about it. Do what you feel comfortable with to begin with.

I went to a local antique shop as one of my 'outings' and I got quite giddy and ended buying loads of stuff blush

Calendargirl Fri 21-May-21 15:25:06

Re driving

I passed my test at 17, over 50 years ago, but have never really been keen on driving. Much prefer to be driven (by competent person).

Have just declined to go on a group gathering in July, 40 odd miles away, as it would entail me driving and giving a lift to a car full of older members. I feel guilty, but just don’t want to drive anywhere except local, which is wussy of me I know.

I know this is pathetic, and also if anything were to happen to DH, I would have to drive more, but at the moment, I just prefer not to.

Also feel guilty, as if anyone were to ask, I would use Covid as an excuse why I don’t feel ready to go, but that is not true!

AGAA4 Fri 21-May-21 15:30:04

I used to drive to my Ds 70 miles away every week. Now I am feeling anxious as it involves 2 motorways and a very busy A road.
I know I will have to do it or miss my GS's birthday next week.

luluaugust Fri 21-May-21 15:32:02

I realised that I had more or less stopped driving as on the few occasions we went out my DH would automatically go round to the driver's side. I have had to make myself take a few journeys and slowly get used to the idea of going out alone, never a problem before. I agree it is like convalescing.

MayBee70 Sat 22-May-21 00:45:38

Yes. I’m in a very strange place at the moment mentally. It’s a bit like having agoraphobia: the only thing I’m happy doing is walking the dog. This is why the thought of having to take a driving test and failing it is freaking me out. I’m going to start visiting my son and daughter, neither live very far away but difficult to get to without a car. I can’t see me ever driving a long distance again but also can’t see me using public transport either. I quite like the simplicity of life as it is now and I don’t miss things like shopping at all. When you think about it the last 18 months have been something that none of us would ever have dreamed of and sometimes it’s hard to make sense of it all.

CatNurse Sat 22-May-21 00:51:31

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FarNorth Sat 22-May-21 01:47:22

I don't think I have anxiety about driving but I do about increased mixing with people, even in a limited way and with masks.
I have a feeling of infection waiting to pounce when it gets a chance.

I also now do most things very slowly, at home, and don't like having to think about things that need decisions.
I'm sure it's not just old age and it does feel like convalescing.

V3ra Sat 22-May-21 02:00:28

AGAA4 would travelling by train be an option for you to go to your grandson's birthday, rather than driving?
I went to my daughter's by train recently and it was all very civilised and socially distanced. I noticed there were a lot of more mature ladies travelling alone.

heath480 Sat 22-May-21 02:21:32

I am exactly the same,I used to think nothing of driving 4 hours on the Motorway,to visit my son in Cornwall.Now the thought of it fills me with dread.

Even driving to the next town took courage, I have done it several times now and am OK with it.

I am visiting my daughter Sunday,another Motorway drive,I will do it, but am dreading it.I hope all these feelings pass because they are most uncomfortable.

Whiff Sat 22-May-21 08:29:26

I don't drive. But yesterday on the bus because it had been so long since I had done the journey I pressed the button for what I thought was my stop. I had to apologise to the driver luckily someone wanted to get on. It sounds silly as before Covid I traveled that route at these twice a week.

I was in the bank and started to cough. My first thought someone would think that had Covid so I turned round to tell people I didn't have Covid I was thirsty which I was. Felt I had to say something. Have any of you found yourself explaining things you never would have in the past? Is it the fear of being judged I wonder or have we become programmed to be ultra away of the people around us !

Shelflife Sat 22-May-21 08:42:54

This is exactly as I feel , so pleased it's not just me. I too passed my driving test when a teenager . Have never really enjoyed driving but very pleased I can ! However..... the thought of driving now fills me with anxiety. I am ok on familiar and local trips but other than that it's a no no just now. Driving is second nature to my DH , so he is struggling to understand my fear. I am banking on my confidence returning as normal life kicks in .

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 22-May-21 08:46:17

Pre vaccine I was very anxious about Covid as high risk. As a result of this last year my only socialising was garden visits. I started a new job which was FT in January. I'm in the office one or two days a week. Its all extremely covid safe. Despite Teams chats etc I was taken aback at how isolating WFH can be. It's amazing how just a few minutes real time chat with other new staff can make such a massive difference.!
I'm totally the opposite to how I was last year with how I feel about my personal risk about the virus but I'm still cautious about the new variants.
I dont drive but havent been on a bus or train since February 2020. My groceries are delivered, but they always were. I find I have no urge to go to restaurants/ pubs/ shops. When I am in town I am still occasionally struck by how surreal the whole situation is!
Until recently I was exclusively WFH, there are many advantages,bo travel to work and very casual clothes. It felt quite strange to wear smart clothes,stranger still to wear make up. I love make up and only wore it on a few occasions last year.
I know my daughter -who is 26 and her friends found the group of 6 garden gathering she had for her birthday a bit overwhelming. She has visited pubs on several occasions and both her and her boyfriend have found it odd.
Everyone is different,after all some chose to do what suited them even during lock down.
I have read articles elsewhere where people have found the new opportunity to socialise a bit different in reality to what they expected. Even extroverts have wanted to retreat into a quiet space sooner than they would have done previously.
I think last year we longed for our previous lives in some form or other. Maybe we have been so long waiting the distance between reality and what we remember is just that bit to far. Maybe we are more used to less social stimulation and faced with it feels like stepping into bright sunlight from a dark room. From gransnet alone it can be seen that many are evaluating how friendships and relationships have withstood the pandemic.
Last year,especially in summer it felt when things opened up there was si much anticipation.
I think that still exists. I also think there may be more caution as no one wants a repeat of the the last lock down.
Maybe it's the weather? This time last year was glorious. I do wonder if it's something deeper though. I live in a seaside town and good weather or not the pubs would be busy with people enjoying lunch time deals etc. Apparently they are like ghost towns.
Sorry for the long post. It is indeed strange times and I thing it will be an ongoing process to be aware of how the past year has affected us us in so many ways both small and large.

MawBe Sat 22-May-21 08:54:41

Shelflife I can sympathise - not least because the roads have, if anything, become an even more threatening place. I am sure driving has become more aggressive and I have seen some appalling examples- possibly by drivers who had got used to quieter roads during lockdown or perhaps because the world seems to be on a shorter fuse.
I have had a few longer motorway journeys ( 60, 75 miles, 100 miles including my bête noire the M25) since we have been able to and found that for me, the best things was not to overthink it, but just get in the car and let “muscle memory” take over ie do what you always did.
Just do it!

MayBee70 Sat 22-May-21 10:36:56

Just had a message to say my son has had his first Pfizer vaccine. I seem to get so emotional about such things these days and I cried with happiness to think that my family were now vaccinated. I do get emotional about things these days.

aonk Sat 22-May-21 11:31:40

Thank you so much for all your wise comments. It’s reassuring that I’m not alone in having these anxious moments. The advice to take time getting “back to normal” is so helpful and I will try to take this on board. Good wishes to you all as you move forward.

mamaa Sat 22-May-21 11:39:52

Yep to all of the above- presently visiting ailing mother bu husband has driven. The amount of lorries and cars on the Mways and dual carriageways was quite scary.
We will need to be up here again ( 300 miles north from where we actually live) and I’ve told my husband that I won’t be able to drive it, ( used to do so but hit a little nervy before lockdown and that just compounded it) nor am I keen to use the train ( involves the Tube too) which I used to do quite happily.
I’ll potter round locally and collect the GC from school but that’s my limit I think now. Good to see I’m not the only one.

Sara1954 Sat 22-May-21 12:27:35

I’ve never been a confident driver. I’ve driven all over the place when the children were younger, often following non too clear directions, no satnav. But I never liked it, and I always avoided motorways.
One awful incident springs to mind, I drove the children to a sporting event one bank holiday, and they gave out that the motorway was closed due to volume of traffic. I was thrown into complete panic, had no idea where to go.
I’ve been at work all through the pandemic, and the roads have been quiet and driving has been almost pleasurable, but the last few weeks, the roads are heaving, and everyone is impatient, I’m hating it all.